Summary

Is money really the root of all evil? Should we be ashamed of wanting to live a life of luxury when so much is wrong with the world?

In this episode of the Chasing 100 Club Podcast, Mama Telanna and Mercedes unpack how we’re chasing luxury every day be that lux experiences, lux purchases, or future desires. Join us as we share our personal money mindset stories, our journey of embracing financial abundance in our lives, and what we’re chasing for our next level of luxury.

We’re also sharing strategies and tips that you can use to shift your money mindset and manifest your own version of a luxury lifestyle!

And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us your thoughts, review, or note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

WATCH OUR TURKS AND CAICOS TRIP RECAP: https://youtu.be/yWpuN2klPZU?si=EJvrObr3ahET3QO9

Explore Coaching with your Hosts

LINKS AND RESOURCES

⁠⁠ ⁠Chasing 100 Club Shop: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach⁠
We Should All Be Millionnaires by Rachel Rodgers: ⁠https://amzn.to/3Un7v4R⁠
Hello Seven with Rachel Rodgers: ⁠https://helloseven.co/⁠
Money Bootcamp with Denise Duffield-Thomas: ⁠https://www.denisedt.com/

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

Engage with the Podcast

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Support the Chasing 100 Club Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club

Chasing Luxury Transcription

[00:00] Mercedes: Okay, I’m ready. So long.
[00:04] Telanna: We’re back, baby. What is wrong with you? What is right with me?
[00:10] Mercedes: What is wrong with you? Are you ready?
[00:13] Telanna: What I want for my birthday.
[00:15] Mercedes: You do know or you don’t know?
[00:17] Telanna: I don’t.
[00:18] Mercedes: You never know what you want for your birthday, and I’ve given up on that endeavor.
[00:23] Telanna: So else something luxurious.
[00:27] Mercedes: You want something luxurious? Is that what she said?
[00:33] Telanna: Machine is $900.
[00:35] Mercedes: That’s luxurious for sure.
[00:37] Telanna: The two silhouette machines together are 900.
[00:41] Mercedes: Oh, you wanted those?
[00:42] Telanna: I don’t know. I’m leaning towards my coffee machine anyway.
[00:46] Mercedes: Okay, are you ready?
[00:48] Telanna: But that is luxury. A $900 coffee machine?
[00:52] Mercedes: It is luxury. I hope you bring that up once we officially start. Are you ready?
[00:58] Telanna: I am ready.
[01:00] Mercedes: All right. Well, hey, y’all. Hey. It has been a little minute since y’all heard from us at the Chasing 100 podcast. And if you don’t know me, it’s Mercedes and it’s Mama Talana. Yay. You got your cue, girl. Okay, I know because we was getting a little rusty there.
[01:27] Telanna: It’s been a while.
[01:29] Mercedes: Yeah, it has been a while. So we are welcoming you back to the Chasing 100 podcast. It’s your favorite mother-daughter duo, and we are chasing our biggest 100 goals. And today, what are we talking about?
[01:42] Telanna: Luxury.
[01:43] Telanna: Chasing luxury.
[01:45] Mercedes: So, I figure we could talk about a little bit about our recent trip to the Turks and Caicos Islands. Okay. Because I know how to say it now, since we gone, and I figured we could kind of launch that as our entryway into this podcast for living a life of luxury. So, do you want to take it away?
[02:05] Telanna: Well, definitely the Turks and Caicos. With a capital T-H-B. Because that’s the most expensive place I’ve ever been in my life.
[02:15] Mercedes: Preach. We left a bag. Several bags.
[02:19] Telanna: And that’s a lot coming from Bermuda, definitely. You hear people say tux and Caicos is expensive, but you just play it off, right?
[02:33] Mercedes: Yeah. Because you’re like, well, any travel is expensive, obviously.
[02:37] Telanna: Exactly.
[02:38] Mercedes: It was not that.
[02:39] Telanna: No, it definitely was not that. But I will say, even though it was expensive, it’s definitely worth the trip.
[02:51] Mercedes: Preach. Okay, so I think I would consider this one of the nicest, most luxurious trips that I think I’ve been on. I don’t know if you feel the same, Mommy, but it was really just this moment of feeling like, wow, I have made it so far from where I was, like, a year or two ago. To feel like this trip was a plausible, reasonable trip where we could do fancy stuff like get a private chef, a private charter. Okay. Rent a whole beautiful villa, have beach access. Okay, we did that. So I think that was one of the biggest things of feeling like, wow, I’m coming into this moment where this life of luxury, I’m getting snippets and pieces of it, and it’s feeling like it’s going to become part of my lifestyle. So I would say that was a really great introduction to. I mean, yes, we have been chasing luxury in other places, but I would say this was a really big one where I could kind of feel like I was embedded in that, like, living my best luxurious life.
[03:58] Telanna: Oh, yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, I think in terms of trips that we’ve been on, I feel like even when I look at our trip to Italy or our trip to think, you know, those were just like, they were great trips, but they had a different just. I can’t even explain the vibe that I want to say because I felt like a tourist, but I felt like a different type of tourist than being a tourist in Alaska or Italy or somewhere. So there is definitely something to be said from doing those things that you talked about, like the private chef and the charter and even the private transportation, things like that. It’s so much to be said about that. It makes a big difference in what you’re experiencing when you’re on vacation.
[04:58] Mercedes: Yes, I think it was kind of freeing because I legitimately think that was, like, the first trip that I’ve gone on that I wasn’t really worried about it. I don’t mean worried about it. I mean worried about the expenses. It didn’t feel like I was bawling on a budget. It felt like I was legitimately bawling.
[05:18] Telanna: Well, girl, that’s because it was just two of you.
[05:22] Mercedes: Okay. No, I don’t want to think that that’s why I’m keeping my womb to myself.
[05:29] Telanna: But, of course, it’s four of us, and it still didn’t feel bad. I think mostly because as a family, we’re foodies, and so we’re used to spending a lot of money on just good meals. And a big portion of that trip, the food was meals and then tacking on an additional 12% to that, so it wasn’t out of pocket.
[06:01] Mercedes: So I think coming out of that trip, I will say that I was definitely dealing with what we call upper limiting things from not only having last month one of the best business months or months in my business, which absolutely funded my extravagancies in Turks and Caicos. But I will also say one of these moments where I was like, oh, wow, I’m living what my dreams are. And so I would say there were a ton of things that I felt like were limiting beliefs that came up for me. Kind of like feeling like an imposter, feeling like these kind of experiences overall are unattainable to me. Also, those triggers that come up when you’re thinking about, like, okay, being rich is immoral, and we see all of the things that we have going on in the world from economics, inflation, Oprah out here doing crazy stuff, asking people to donate, and she didn’t. Also, I’m not Oprah, though. Okay, I’m not Oprah, but just kind of like all of these thoughts about what does it mean to live in luxury and really feeling like you can, given how much is going on in the world and given how much we really have to kind of work for a dollar in today’s economy.
[07:28] Telanna: Yeah, I mean, I can absolutely see how that might come up for you. I think for me, I didn’t really experience it that much because I’m older than you.
[07:39] Mercedes: Oh, really now? Oh, really now? How old, girl?
[07:44] Telanna: How older? Not wiser necessarily, but.
[07:52] Mercedes: I was waiting for you to talk about your birthday, girl. Come on. Come on.
[07:58] Telanna: No, you don’t go there.
[08:01] Mercedes: Okay, all right.
[08:05] Telanna: Stop making me lose my train of thought. I’m just joking. Anyway, so I feel like I’ve experienced those things already because I’m older than you, because I remember when you used to be little and you would be like, okay, you don’t have to buy your clothes at Walmart.
[08:28] Mercedes: Wait, what?
[08:30] Telanna: But it was just ingrained in me kind of, to do that because it’s this journey that you go through of all your different money stories. And of course, then that day came when I was like, you know what? I don’t even like their clothes. Although they’ve changed now, right? A lot. But I don’t go in Walmart for other reasons. But I think I didn’t think about that as much. I remember, especially your dad when we were dating. He has always had this thing with luxury. And so when we were dating, he used to take me to drive through these rich neighborhoods, and he used to take us to these five star hotels to walk around. And there was always this big level of discomfort for me, like thinking somebody was going to walk up behind you and just tell you that you don’t belong here and basically to get out. And so I didn’t feel that at all in Turks. I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, doing exactly what I needed to do and just being present and enjoying it. And I honestly wasn’t thinking about what someone didn’t have. I wasn’t thinking about everything that is going on in the country with money. I was just in a place to just be and relax and enjoy it because I feel like that’s what God wants for me too.
[10:20] Mercedes: Period, period, period. So I think for me, it was kind of like when you talk about creating your ideal life or your best life, it’s kind of like this journey of like, I’m where I am now and I’m where my dream life should be or I want it to be. And you can kind of feel yourself, like, I don’t know, is it like teleporting between the two energies? Some Sci-Fi stuff. We always end up talking about Sci-Fi stuff where some of it definitely, I could say for sure I didn’t think about anything else but living my best life while I was on that charter. But I do feel like some of the times when I was walking around or like restaurants or things like that, I was kind of having this moment, like, does this feel comfortable to me? And I think in a lot of ways it didn’t. So I appreciate you sharing, like, you know what, I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve worked on money mindset stuff, and here we are. And that kind of higher self aspect of who is a person that lives that life of luxury and how do you become her?
[11:35] Telanna: Yeah, exactly. And we had this conversation before about the fact that luxury is personal and what it means to me is something completely different than it is to you. And how it shows up for me is different from how it shows up for you. But I do want to ask you a question about what you said about feeling that you may not necessarily belong there or not really understanding the impact of what’s going on in the world and having to reconcile you being in this beautiful country, expensive, and then people in the US getting laid off and other types of economic things that are going here. How were you able to process know.
[12:34] Mercedes: I really think I’m still processing, like, to be honest. So the first thing about kind of. I think the part that felt unsettling is that I really felt like, again, like I said, this is one of the first times that I could really feel like I was in that dream. And when you were talking about the luxury part, luxury travel and how we define luxury is that goal for me. Right. Like, I want to be all over the place, on a plane, on a private jet, I don’t know. In a private car, whatever. I want to live a luxurious travel lifestyle. That is my goal in life personally. Right? And so I see these things as one, like, oh, man, okay, I traveled here, had all these private, luxurious experiences, but I also see in my head what that could potentially be like when I talk about, okay, I didn’t take a private jet there. I’m not there yet. And it’s a thought of, like, why isn’t it good enough for me to embrace and enjoy the level of luxury that I can live in in that point, at this point in life? And I think that’s one of the things that I was battling with of, like, why am I discounting where I currently am? Because it doesn’t look like this other standard that I have. And Also, am I kind of fronting in the level of luxury that I’m at right now? Because thinking about it holistically, this wouldn’t be sustainable every day of my life, which is also part of that goal. Right. It felt a little bit like imposter because I’m living my best life, Balin. But I feel like that right now with where I am, that’s actually not a sustainable piece. And when I think about the economic challenges, the future layoffs, and also just that people from an economic and basic need standpoint are suffering. And it’s all those things in my head all at the same time. So I just brought up Oprah to joke. But I also told you that I have a $31,000 Birkin in my Amazon cart as a joke, too. There’s levels to this. There’s a lot.
[14:54] Telanna: Definitely a $31,000 purse. I’m not mad at you.
[14:58] Mercedes: It makes me happy. Every time I look into Amazon, I’m like, you know what? One day, I’m going to click that button that Birkin is going to be.
[15:04] Telanna: Apparently have a watch on my wish list that is probably three times the amount of that purse.
[15:12] Mercedes: Okay, there it is.
[15:14] Telanna: I’m definitely not mad at you.
[15:18] Mercedes: And it’s really funny because I’m not even, like, a designer bag like person. I just love how those look. It’s wild, right? It’s okay.
[15:27] Telanna: No, and that’s why I’m saying how luxury is personal. I think a lot of times we get caught up in what it should look like is because what we’re looking at and basing it on are celebrities and not realizing that we can have a luxurious life, but we can also do what we’re called to do and still have impact. I think so much about what we learned about money is just rooted in old, wise tales and I guess biblical understanding, too, that money is the root of all evil. And I know for me, I’ve had to really unpack that, because I feel like if anything that we see in this time in society is that money makes a difference. Money has impact. Money speaks. Money allows you to do things that you would not be able to do to help people that you would not normally be able to help without that. And I think that is just such an important part of it. And I also think it’s what gives you the balance that you’re not just out here wilding out, paying for $30,000 purses, yet just joking and ignoring the things that you see, ignoring the opportunity to have that social impact. I definitely don’t think that that’s what you’re doing. And I think it’s easier to reconcile the two things when you know that you’re still doing the things that you feel called to do.
[17:23] Mercedes: Yeah, I guess when I think about it, I feel like even though that same concept is not about money, but every time I have this kind of conversation about the impact of work and, yes, the way that money can help you do that work, I always think about, there are starving children in Africa. Like, every time.
[17:54] Telanna: Oh, you think about it? I saw that my whole life. I saw my, whoa, why’d you pass.
[17:59] Mercedes: It on to me?
[18:00] Telanna: Infomercial with the little boy from Ethiopia with the big belly out. And, yes, that is, like, one of the most difficult things to see that. To think that other people on the other side of the world could be living like that. And here we are in the States with so much abundance.
[18:21] Mercedes: Well, I don’t even think that anymore, because those starving children are down the street, how I feel about that anymore. But anyway, so I’m saying, sometimes I think about it, it’s like, oh, my gosh, we paid $11,000 for this fella girl. How many people could I fee with?
[18:39] Telanna: Eleven.
[18:39] Mercedes: So I feel like that’s what you have or that’s what I think. But I also think it is very true. I think one of the most impactful comments that really helped me to address those money mindset challenges is while we were in the club with Rachel Rogers. Right. I said the club. One of the most powerful things that I was watching was just understanding there’s nothing more powerful than people of color and specifically black women, and our economic impact on the communities around us than when we are financially. Yeah, we’re coming from a place of financial abundance and how it impacts those around us. So I have to think about the idea that when we thrive, those things overflow and we can choose to use our money in the way that we want to see it impact the communities or the goals, missions, whatever that are important to us. So it is helpful, but it is still something that I constantly balance or kind of think about in my head when I’m looking at luxury. Right?
[19:51] Telanna: Yeah, I remember Rachel. I wish I had the statistic in front of me, but she always shares a statistic about how. I know you mentioned black women, but women in general take more of their money to have social impact. It was a really high percentage. And I wish I had the quote, but I don’t. But she shares that, that men don’t take their money to have impact in a lot of places, but women are doing it. And I feel like if you’re having the impact that you want to have, you should also be able to enjoy that fruit for yourself as well. I don’t think there’s anywhere in the Bible that I can remember. I mean, just speaking from me, I know everyone doesn’t identify as a Christian, but just speaking for me, I feel like there is nowhere in there that says that I have to be poor or I’m supposed to be poor. God said to multiply and have dominion, right? So that means multiplying in every area of my life. And if I’m able to multiply, I’m able to do that for other people too. I think the interesting part of it though is this statistics that you found online when we were doing some research.
[21:23] Mercedes: Ridiculous.
[21:26] Telanna: Fueling the luxury retail sales.
[21:29] Mercedes: It’s wild.
[21:30] Telanna: I’m going to let you share that.
[21:32] Mercedes: You’re going to let me share it? Girl, shut up. Okay.
[21:36] Telanna: Going into this conversation, they’re almost out of that bracket.
[21:49] Mercedes: Hey there, it’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me during our call. We’ll dive deep into your career goals and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career? It can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show.
[22:39] Mercedes: Notes love.
[22:40] Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.
[22:54] Mercedes: It I can’t close. Brandon’s been messing with me. So you’re going to call out my age, but I can’t call out your age.
[23:04] Telanna: Of course you can call out my age. I have no shame over my age.
[23:07] Mercedes: All right, well, I think one of the things going into this, too, is that we did, like, for laughs and giggles. No, just kidding. We did go look up the definition of luxury because we were kind of looking at like, okay, what does luxury actually mean? Because we feel like it was kind of misconstrued of how people define that and that it does have a personal take on this. But luxury as a definition says a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort. The other one says something’s addition to pleasure or comfort. Okay. And then an indulgence of something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease, which I think these three definitions are kind of interesting when you take the following fact that says nearly half of all come.
[23:58] Telanna: Through soft life people.
[24:00] Mercedes: Okay, the soft life people have arrived. But anyway, soft life. Nearly half of all young adults, 48% between ages 18 to 29, reside at home with their parents, and their savings are fueling luxury retail sales, according to a report. Blah, blah, blah, US Census Bureau. And then the other one that said Americans with an income of less than 50,000 make up 27% of regular luxury.
[24:33] Telanna: Consumers, which is wild to me.
[24:35] Mercedes: That’s wild to me.
[24:37] Telanna: I mean, both of them. I mean, I got to say, though, I’ve never been just like you. I’ve never been a purse person or shoe person. I like a purse.
[24:49] Mercedes: Shout out To Vera Bradley, girlies.
[24:53] Telanna: But I mean, at the same time, it’s like, I like a purse. I buy the purse, I use the purse. I don’t need 16 luxury purses. And not only do I not need them, I don’t want them. So I can see how the definition that you gave, it makes sense for me. Right? I’m looking for things to offer me comfort, like a great coffee machine. That’s comfort, right?
[25:28] Mercedes: Are we posting this before your birthday? What? Are we posting this before your birthday? Put everybody on notice. Come on, Mommy, tell us what birthday we’re celebrating.
[25:43] Telanna: We are celebrating 50.
[25:49] Mercedes: And hopefully going into another luxury experience, right?
[25:53] Telanna: Yes. We’re going to spend some time in the keys. Because luxury to me is also being with my family in an environment that we can enjoy. And so I’m just looking to just be in chill mode, which is lovely for me. Another villa to rent.
[26:17] Mercedes: I know, girl. I was like, no, I’m just kidding. When we talk about repetition, I’m just proving it to myself, creating the evidence for my own mindset.
[26:28] Telanna: Exactly. Maybe I’ll even get to take that $900 coffee machine with me.
[26:35] Mercedes: Oh, my goodness. You’re wild.
[26:37] Telanna: I’ve been already told no, but you know how that goes. Yeah, but I think this is so wild. As someone who has a 19 year old and a 29 year old, and if you were living.
[26:50] Mercedes: 29 year old is on the call.
[26:55] Telanna: I know, but I’m just saying, if you were living in my house and then you’re using your savings to fuel luxury retail sales, it’s a no for me.
[27:06] Mercedes: Okay, but let’s be honest here. You’re 18. Wait, is turning 18 or 19? I’m sorry, it’s 19. Your 19 year old is part of that group.
[27:17] Telanna: Yes, but she is not living at home using her savings. I might be fueling some of those luxury purchases for her.
[27:30] Mercedes: I mean, okay, I feel like you consistently stay in denial about your middle child, but that’s okay.
[27:43] Telanna: Jesus, take the.
[27:46] Mercedes: Out there. I’m just saying, it’s not like she got it, honestly. But it’s okay. But, yeah, I feel like she fits in that category. It’s okay. It’s all right. No more about it. I agree.
[27:59] Telanna: She does fit in that category. The difference with me is whether or not these kids are using their money for luxury things. Are they also using their money for life, or are they literally just at home, not paying any bills at home, not doing anything at home, and just spending their money on luxury things? Because that, to me, is wild. But I also know a lot more younger. I don’t want to call them kids, but young adults are traveling, like, big time.
[28:41] Mercedes: Well, this says specifically luxury retail sales.
[28:46] Telanna: Yeah, I know that says that, but I’m just saying in general, too, I think this age bracket is traveling a lot, too. I don’t know how luxurious it is, but I remember growing up, for me, it just used to be luxurious just to get on a plane once a year, much less multiple times a year.
[29:06] Mercedes: That’s true.
[29:07] Telanna: It’s okay.
[29:08] Mercedes: I broke you all right into it very easily.
[29:11] Telanna: Just kidding. Come on.
[29:14] Mercedes: In Italy? Yeah, I guess. But in a way, if they are contributing to maybe whatever their parents expect them to contribute to, they have a job they’re paying their bills or whatever they need to pay for. Are we then demonizing how they choose to use their discretionary income? No.
[29:39] Telanna: And that’s what exactly I’m saying that I don’t know much this goes into that because this says they’re savings.
[29:48] Mercedes: I mean, I think they’re assuming that that’s where it’s coming from. They’re saving money in itself. I feel like it’s kind of like a purposely polarizing of, like, they’re using the savings from staying at home with their parents on these luxury sales, which is like, they’re using the money that they would have spent on rent had they not been able to live. Hopefully they have savings.
[30:12] Telanna: Yeah, I don’t see any problem with that. If, yes, they are doing the things that they’re supposed to be doing as an adult, because that’s what you are, young adults.
[30:25] Mercedes: I’m becoming an old adult very quickly.
[30:29] Telanna: What is the bracket? Is 29 the cut off for that? Are you officially old at 30?
[30:36] Mercedes: I don’t know.
[30:37] Telanna: I feel old.
[30:39] Mercedes: I feel kind of old. Yeah.
[30:41] Telanna: Your siblings think you’re old.
[30:43] Mercedes: Yeah. I feel like their dialogue around my oldness doesn’t help. And I also feel like I was just bored as an old soul. So I have lots of things fighting.
[31:01] Telanna: Against me and my ability to feel youthful. So in terms of luxury, what’s next on your list?
[31:10] Mercedes: What’s next on my list? I literally have what poor Brandon would call, like, tunnel vision. I know you already know what I’m going to say to an RV. Being able to afford a fully nomadic travel in an RV lifestyle is the dream for me right now. And we need to do, like, an RV trial run. So not next weekend because I’m coming home next weekend, but the weekend after that, I’m supposed to be going to RV show. And then we want to do, like, a trial run and rent a fifth wheel or maybe like something smaller. So two things. Either do a fifth wheel that’s stationary so we can get a sense of the space and then do a smaller vehicle that we won’t kill ourselves or others. Traveling a couple of places, like maybe up the state of Florida or something to get a sense of how does that up and go lifestyle kind of feel. But I have straight up tunnel vision to my dream of owning an RV and traveling across the United States for the next couple of years. Yeah. What’s your next luxury goal? I think you talked about some of them, but.
[32:32] Telanna: You know, other than right now, the coffee machine of my dream, every time I get a new coffee machine. It’s another level.
[32:49] Mercedes: Yeah, we’re aware.
[32:51] Telanna: Yes. I don’t know what comes after the $900 ones, but I’m at the $900 ones right now and that gives me a great joy. And I think really, other than that, my next big thing is probably going to be our trip to Hong Kong.
[33:11] Mercedes: And.
[33:14] Telanna: On my life list is also the Orient Express. So those are probably two of the luxury. And I could probably even do it up even a little bit more if I didn’t take my kids with me.
[33:35] Mercedes: Good try. Good try. You will literally have to plan it in secret. Okay. You will have to get the FBI, the CIA, whoever else. Okay, Doctor who to help you plan that in secret because. No. Good luck with that.
[34:01] Telanna: What, we’re just going to be out, send you a postcard and let you know we’re there?
[34:08] Mercedes: No, ma’am.
[34:09] Telanna: Yeah. Would definitely be luxury because I want to do first class for those flights and I just want it to be a great experience and a nice. Because our plan is to, of course, take a cruise out of Hong Kong, but we’ll save that for another time.
[34:32] Mercedes: Oh, my God. I don’t think so. I feel like that is very luxurious.
[34:35] Telanna: I think we got to.
[34:40] Mercedes: It’s a no for me, dog.
[34:49] Telanna: Hey, y’all. Mama Talana here.
[34:51] Telanna: Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it. Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose minded woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back.
[35:21] Telanna: Okay.
[35:22] Telanna: To help you get started, I created a free resource, six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps.
[35:47] Telanna: You can take to take action and.
[35:50] Telanna: Control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindawoman.com.
[36:14] Mercedes: Say, oh, my gosh. So I kind of have looked at this of like, okay, our concept is this idea of chasing luxury or chasing our goal, right? But in this case, we talked about how we’ve been chasing luxury. And of course, we’ve been intentional about creating those experiences and defining for ourselves what that luxury looks like. Like you just asked. So I guess my question to you is if you have people who are out there that are struggling in the same way that we are, and we, of course, have benefited from many professional development experiences, however you want to business, otherwise, mentors, mothers who are certified career coaches, however you want to look at it or not. Career coaches. Life coaches. So if you saw a woman who was really trying to get into living a more luxurious lifestyle, what would your advice be? That was a really long winded question, but we’re here two years later.
[37:25] Telanna: Need to take an intermission.
[37:28] Mercedes: Sorry.
[37:30] Telanna: I would really tell her the same thing, that I actually start with my coaching clients. The first thing that I do with them is just have them sit down and write out all of their desires, because I think a lot of times we have these desires, but we haven’t accepted them yet. But they’re actually what we want. But we’re so stuck in worrying about judgment from other people, judgment about spending that much money on something luxurious. I mean, I told you recently that I had joined a Black girls luxury group on Facebook, and of course, I’m not going to last there long. Actually, I’m on my way out. However, I joined it because I was looking for something special for my bestie since she turned 56 days after me. And the running narrative in that group is that these people post in that group because they feel like they can’t post on Facebook or they feel like they can’t share their excitement about their desires and their accomplishments with their family because of exactly what you said, judgment, and because other people in their family may not be doing as well as they are. And so it’s just this big narrative already around taking ownership for what you want and being okay with it. So that’s definitely the first thing that I would do. And then the second thing I would say is, look at your money stories. Look at your thoughts around money and how you grew up with it. We shared a little bit about that and how I grew up with people telling me money was the root of evil, or money doesn’t grow on trees and all these different things that were told about money. Look at those money stories, and how are they making you decide what you’re going to do with your money? I will say one of the money courses that I took was Denise Duttlefield. OR is it Thomas Dutterfield? I don’t know. Denise Dutterfield’s course about money and it was excellent because it helps you to understand where those money stories came from and to really understand that you’re able to have the impact that you want to. So that would be definitely the second thing that I would say that someone should do, and they have planned for it. You know what I mean? Not everything has to happen overnight. And stop looking at other people, celebrities, to define what luxury means to you. I’ve shared this with Mercedes, with you before, how luxury to some person is a Rolex. And when I look at a Rolex, I’m like, oh, that’s trash. Somebody go buy me a Patek Philippe. Because a Patek Philippe is a real watch, and a Rolex is trash.
[41:13] Mercedes: Oh, my. I’m Mommy. You said Paddock wrong.
[41:17] Telanna: I know, but it’s my accent. It’s how I’ve said it my whole life.
[41:24] Mercedes: No, it’s a joke, Mommy. I’m saying it wrong.
[41:26] Telanna: No, remember that guy? He said it wrong. Lord have mercy.
[41:31] Mercedes: Didn’t he say Paddock? Paddock on my wrist?
[41:33] Telanna: No, I think he said something worse than that.
[41:37] Mercedes: I feel like that’s what he said. We’ll have to go look at the correct way to pronounce it later.
[41:44] Telanna: Well, that’s the way I’ve always pronounced it my whole life.
[41:48] Mercedes: No, I think it’s a Patek Philippe, right? Yeah.
[41:52] Telanna: I don’t know how to. Anybody else would sound weird to me.
[41:57] Mercedes: No, it’s okay. I made a joke, and you didn’t get the joke, and now the joke is ruined. So.
[42:02] Telanna: It was a terrible joke.
[42:04] Mercedes: It was hilarious. I hope that somebody listening laughed at my joke.
[42:09] Telanna: The terrible joke for you.
[42:12] Mercedes: I’m going to have a Netflix comedy.
[42:13] Telanna: Special like your run on stories. But anyway, yeah. And so know, figure out what that looks like. For know, stop thinking that you have to have a million dollars to do this, or you have to wait until you have a million dollars to go on an amazing vacation, or you don’t have to. There’s probably somebody out there telling you that you have to, but you can do whatever you want to now at whatever you want to. There is luxury in every level of someone’s life. Someone a luxury may be getting a Starbucks once a week. I remember a time in my life when paying $12 for coffee was a luxury. So just remember that it’s whatever it is for you.
[43:11] Mercedes: I just had to say that there was a time in life when going to McDonald’s to get some McDoubles was a luxury for us.
[43:20] Telanna: Yeah.
[43:21] Mercedes: Every day.
[43:25] Telanna: McDonald’s is a luxury now.
[43:27] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. Anyway, so a couple of days, well, like a week ago, Brandon and I went into the liquor store, because out here we got that drive through liquor store.
[43:43] Telanna: Okay, you live in the country when your liquor stores drive through, but go.
[43:47] Mercedes: Ahead, that’s a luxury. Okay, you got to get out of the car. He says, what do you need? I’ll bring it to the window for you. But anyway, so I was in there, and so they had, Mommy, oh, my gosh. I’ll probably get some when I come home.
[44:03] Telanna: Should I probably do that?
[44:04] Mercedes: Anyway, so they had like six different types of stellarosa in there. They had like a peach honey. Is it peach Honey or Honey pear? They had the Moscato one in there, which I can’t find in Windix anymore. And they had like, blueberry, a cherry. And anyway, so they basically had way more flavors than I was used to. And so I got all said. I said, oh, well, tell me what I owe you, because I picked up three bottles. He was like, oh, you could just get the McDonald’s. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, not you being right that the three bottles of wine is comparable to getting McDonald’s now.
[44:44] Telanna: Hey.
[44:45] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. You could tell me that you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but what is one of your money mindset or your money stories and how did you overcome that story?
[45:04] Telanna: I would say two. So the first one, as a faith based coach, I feel like that was a big money story for me, even in charging for coaching, was that I shouldn’t be able to do that because God gave me these gifts to help other people and contribute to society as a whole. So that was definitely a money story that I had. And how I came over that was just realizing that people don’t do things for free. They won’t do the work. So I’ve coached plenty of people for free in and out of ministry, and if there’s no skin in it, guess what? They’re not going to do it. So that one was pretty easy to come over. And I think one of the other big money stories that I really had was just that I was bad with money. I just think growing up and never having those conversations about money and how to make it work for you led to a lot of money trauma in my life. I would say lights turned off or having a car repoed or having had a garnishment, things like that. And so I think understanding that I’m not my stories and my past is not my future, and that with wisdom and knowledge, you can basically overcome anything. I think the big thing is not ignoring your money stories and not ignoring your money because a lot of times when we feel like we get into these situations with our money, we shut down and we don’t look at our money and it makes it worse. And so I think that’s a big part as well, that Denise teaches in her program and also Rachel, too, and we should all be millionaires, too, is really taking that time to look at your money. And so I’m intentional about having that weekly money date on Fridays. My alarm goes off at 07:00 p.m. Because you have to know where your money is so that you can do these things, so that you can have that life of luxury that you want, so that you can plan for it appropriately and create the life that you want.
[47:50] Mercedes: Are you going to ask me what my money mindset story is?
[47:54] Telanna: Well, if you were going to give me a.
[47:59] Mercedes: Okay, okay, I’ll let you go ahead.
[48:01] Telanna: And ask yourself since you’re already.
[48:03] Mercedes: No, no. You ask me.
[48:06] Telanna: So, Mercedes, would you like to share with our lovely audience your money mindset stories?
[48:13] Mercedes: Absolutely. Thank you. I feel like I have, at least in my brain of what I have unpacked as that defining you have that traumatic moment for you. You may remember my story of returning to college for my sophomore year. Do you remember that?
[48:33] Telanna: What year was that?
[48:35] Mercedes: I don’t know. 2014? So I feel like, I have this feeling that if I spend my money on things that are not like, Quote unquote, good decisions, then when I need it, I won’t have it.
[48:52] Telanna: Makes sense.
[48:53] Mercedes: And you like my dramatic pauses.
[48:58] Telanna: Yes. I wish I had a drum.
[49:02] Mercedes: And I think it’s because basically when I was moving back to college, right.
[49:07] Telanna: Now, let’s just tell everyone that I muted because I had to sneeze.
[49:11] Mercedes: You had to sneeze, so you muted. That’s so responsible of you for the.
[49:16] Telanna: Exactly. Not.
[49:19] Mercedes: Well, because I didn’t know if you could hear me talk about my money story. I think the interesting thing here is because of that, I think I have buyers remorse. So I was having this moment where I should feel very proud. It’s when I bought my first car. Then I was going back to college and I needed to pay for my deposit for my apartment. And I had somebody who was supposed to help me with that, who ended up not helping me with that. And I had a traumatizing day. So I shall say no names. We’ve all grown up. Have we? Anyway, all right. Have we?
[50:02] Telanna: Tell your story, girl.
[50:03] Mercedes: I am telling my story. Because anyway, I figured, anyway, Mommy, you know how people talk about you have root issues. I feel like that one day was a very defining moment in my life, and I have many root issues to unpack from that day. And this is one of them. And it is the fact that feeling like, if you are kind of like, you make a big purchase or you do something that is kind of helping you to see this goal, right? And it’s ridiculous for me to kind of have unpacked it that way of, man, I should have not bought my car. That’s ridiculous because I didn’t have this other bare need met of having an apartment because obviously I could have took the bus or whatever else. And so I unpacked that as saying, like, wow, if you are making these things that are not like a bare minimum need as an expense. And so often when I’m purchasing things that feel like luxury, I don’t enjoy it as much as I should because I feel like something could go wrong because I spent my money in the wrong place. And so sometimes that’s hard for me to feel like. And I think we were talking about it the other day when Brandon was like, let’s go on a cruise. And I was like, a cruise because I wasn’t mentally prepared for that. I’m thinking, like, I can’t make this big expense. I haven’t thought about. It’s not rational, blah, blah, blah. I can’t do. And, like, look at my bank account. Obviously I could, but it was like one of those things where I just had all those kind of feelings of not having enough, even though I know that I have enough. And so that’s been one of the things that I have had to really work through and ask myself when in the last couple of years have I not been able to cover all of my expenses that I needed to, like, wild, right. And kind of restructuring what that is. To look at it from finding the evidence of saying, like, you’re in a different place, you’re living a life of abundance and you have more money than you need at any time. Thank you for asking what my money mindset story was.
[52:01] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:02] Mercedes: So nice of you.
[52:03] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:06] Mercedes: Okay, so, Mommy, as we wrap up, because I think we’ve covered most of our big topics here in our pursuit of luxury. And I can say, like, we lived it up in Turks and Caicos, there will be more luxury in our life. And we are purposely working on our mindset every day, those limiting beliefs, our money stories, in order to live the life that we know we deserve, period. And is there anything else that Mama Talana would like to add to this discussion?
[52:37] Telanna: I don’t think so. That’s good.
[52:39] Mercedes: That’s a beautiful way to end.
[52:42] Telanna: Yeah.
[52:43] Mercedes: On that note, I’m going to bring up my Amazon cart and look at my $31,000 Birkin. I actually added a black one, so now it’s like 40,000.
[52:57] Telanna: Why are Birkin purses even on Amazon? I’m so confused.
[53:01] Mercedes: Okay, so the fact that Amazon has now identified that I have a problem. Okay. I’m getting Amazon luxury ads on Facebook. Yeah. And I think that they are like. So for instance, I don’t think you can buy a Birkin anywhere other than a store new. So these must all be like used Birkins because I’m not going to go play in somebody’s face. Like, I’m just going to have to.
[53:32] Telanna: Petty company that you have to be.
[53:34] Mercedes: Yes. You have to play in there. They play in your face. Okay, we’re not doing that.
[53:42] Telanna: But that alone would be just like, not something I want.
[53:45] Mercedes: No, I’m like, you’re not about to degrade me and make me work for a purse. Sorry. That’s probably not how they look at that, right?
[53:54] Telanna: I’m sure they don’t.
[53:56] Mercedes: I mean, people who purchase it, I feel like the sales associates have to thank that person.
[54:03] Telanna: So I can’t even understand.
[54:05] Mercedes: I mean, and I probably am just as many others are into the hype, but I do love that it’s very not, you know, like how you buy like a Louis Vuitton bag and the icons, like everywhere. I don’t so much. So I just like that. It’s just like this very classy, pretty bag.
[54:25] Telanna: That’s nice.
[54:26] Mercedes: Anywho, so, yeah, I’ll continue to get my Amazon luxury fine ads and add them to my cart. Like an absolute sociopath.
[54:39] Telanna: Yeah, well, I’m sure it must help with your motivation.
[54:45] Mercedes: I mean, every day I go check my RV fund and it makes me feel so much joy because it means I’m getting closer and closer to in many ways. Looking at my Amazon cart and checking my high yield savings account brings me great joy. Okay, Mommy, what brings you great joy and helps you pursue your luxury am.
[55:18] Telanna: I don’t want to say I’m a simple person because I like little things. Like, literally, I went to Turks and Caicos and I bought a stuffed dinosaur.
[55:34] Mercedes: I just bought it.
[55:37] Telanna: On the chair in my bedroom and that makes me happy.
[55:41] Mercedes: It’s so cute. Luxury in life is being able to buy whatever nonsensical.
[55:47] Telanna: Exactly.
[55:47] Mercedes: Whatever animal you want at any given time.
[55:51] Telanna: And now I don’t even tell people it’s for my son. I’m like, it’s mine.
[55:57] Mercedes: Was there a point in time when you were doing did so you’ve come a long way. I’m glad that you’re your authentic self because it’s great.
[56:09] Telanna: And I got to run now because here in the Jeffers household, we eat late, and my dinner at 09:00 is just ready.
[56:17] Mercedes: I thought you were going to say you have to pee. All right, well, that all being said. Bye, chasers. We’ll see you for the next episode. And we are glad to be back and can’t wait for our next Chasing 100 podcast episode. Bye.
[56:32] Telanna: See you next time. arrivederci!
[56:37] Mercedes: Go eat your dinner. Get off my podcast. Bye.

.

The post Episode 6: Chasing Luxury appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

The key to a fulfilling and successful career is easier than you think and it starts with one thing: Chasing Career Alignment. Join Mercedes, a Career Coach for Black Women and Mama Telanna, a Life Coach for ex-Superwomen as we dive deep into what it means to have an aligned career.

Mercedes shares her personal journey of finding her dream job and the importance of being aligned with your gifts, purpose, and passion. Mama Telanna shared how she’s been thriving in her career of 30 years!

Together, they discuss the challenges of seeking clarity and alignment in one’s career, sharing personal anecdotes and valuable insights along the way.

Whether you’re just starting out or contemplating a career change, this episode will inspire and empower you to pursue meaningful work and create the life you want to live.

Stay tuned until the end to learn about Mercedes’ Career Love Journal, a tool designed to help women, particularly black women, find career clarity in just 28 days.

Don’t forget to subscribe and share this with a friend that needs a little more career alignment in their life!

And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us a note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

DOWNLOAD THE CAREER LOVE JOURNAL: ⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/career-love-journal ⁠

Explore Coaching with your Hosts

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Order A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger: ⁠https://amzn.to/3Un7v4R ⁠

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

Engage with the Podcast

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Support the Chasing 100 Club Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club

Chasing Career Alignment Transcription

[00:00] Mama Telanna: I don’t think that I’ve ever shown up because I was showing up for a check. I’ve showed up because I enjoyed what I was doing and I wanted to be there and I wanted to be with the people that I worked with because I enjoyed it. And so that’s a big difference. If you’re waking up and you’re like, oh, my God, but I got to get this bank, that is a bad sign.

[00:25] Mercedes: And I feel like when you do that, it’s like that’s what leads to you feeling depressed or for you to feel like you’re not living the life that you want to live, because then you think that that’s not possible for you to feel that type of fulfillment and meaning at work. It is. It just means that you aren’t doing the right kind of work. Hey, Chasers, it’s Mercedes and Mama Telanna here. It’s your favorite mother daughter duo. And we are back with a new podcast episode all about career alignment. But first, we have a little bit of a celebration. Okay.

[01:24] Mama Telanna: What?

[01:26] Mercedes: Okay, you just don’t be paying attention to me.

[01:28] Mama Telanna: No, I don’t.

[01:29] Mercedes: We hit our 100 plays like that’s super exciting. You just busted some, but yeah, we are excellent. So excited and really appreciative of you all going on the journey with us. And I think it’s really cool that we’ve had this type of traction already with our podcast. So onwards and upwards.

[01:53] Mama Telanna: Yes. As in our career and just career. How about almost and upwards in every way imaginable?

[02:02] Mercedes: That’s true, but I was trying to segue into our episode. You ruined it. I’m just kidding.

[02:07] Mama Telanna: Sorry.

[02:10] Mercedes: You look so defeated. Now you can know we are onwards and upwarding in all areas of life with our 100 goals. So let me validate you. Okay. Most people in my community have known I’ve been sharing about my transition and how it’s really just been this amazing experience for me thus far. But to let everybody in the community know, I landed my dream job about two months ago. I’ve been so excited, so happy, so fulfilled every day at work in my new role. And so I wanted to wait till I sat in it a little bit. To sat in it sounds like you’re like a baby going to say, sizzled, sizzled.

[02:56] Mama Telanna: That was going to make sense to me. But that’s just what it I sat.

[02:59] Mercedes: Down in my career, settled in. I won’t say I’m settled in, definitely. Everything’s still new. But anyway, all of that being said, I really wanted to come being a little bit into my job and into my role to share what I felt like I learned and also to talk about this topic of career alignment. And of course, I’m a career coach, so I want this to be inspiring to other women that feel like they can’t have a dream job or that there aren’t places in America that women and other marginalized or unrepresented underrepresented groups can thrive and be happy. So I’m going to be sharing my journey with you and how you can do the same. And my co host, Mama Tuana, is going to be here to listen in. I’m sure she’s going to have a lot of juicy details about her very long tenure and her career path. Yeah. So I’m going to start off by saying that I feel like the key, at least for me, for having a great life, a great career, being successful, kind of having that legacy, really starts with being aligned with your gifts and your purpose and your passion. I feel like all of those things help you to be successful, but a lot of people don’t get there because they don’t. Are you crying? Why am I always asking you? Are you crying? I feel like I ask you that once per episode.

[04:22] Mama Telanna: I know, you’re right.

[04:23] Mercedes: Right. Okay. Anyway. But I feel like that really starts with seeking clarity and alignment in your career. So that’s what I want to talk.

[04:32] Mama Telanna: About today, which I think is great, because when I look back at the start of my career, there was no alignment, there was no clarity. I just did what kind of was thrown in my lap.

[04:46] Mercedes: Most people do. Yeah.

[04:47] Mama Telanna: I got to the point where I enjoyed it, and it has been something that I’ve enjoyed, but I wouldn’t say that. I sat there and I said, oh, you know what? This is what I wanted to do. Because that’s actually not what I wanted to do. Because, as you know did I know that or you may not know?

[05:04] Mercedes: I don’t think I know.

[05:04] Mama Telanna: I don’t think you remember. I initially intended on going to school to do neuropsychology.

[05:11] Mercedes: How have I got to the old age of 28 with a psychology degree and you never told me?

[05:18] Mama Telanna: That has come up before. Yes, I wanted to go to new college.

[05:23] Mercedes: I remember that. Yeah.

[05:24] Mama Telanna: To do neuropsychology. Yes. So we’ve had this conversation before that I basically got into healthcare because my mother was already in health care, my sister was in health care, and so it just seemed normal. I’m going to go have the baby and then go down the healthcare administration route. But there wasn’t babies. You can have the babies, ma’am, but plan differently. To still consider. I think part of that career thing is that thinking about it, it never dawned on me that I could have still done neuropsychology without going to new college.

[06:14] Mercedes: Where was I? I was kidding. I was an embryo. Sorry. Because I was like, oh, go back and do it, girl.

[06:24] Mama Telanna: I think that’s great for you and as also a coach, that you really encourage people, because I feel like the earlier you find what you’re passionate about, because it’s very important to me for even my clients to have harmony in your life. And a lot of people, there’s a disconnect between who they think they want to be and where they spend most of their time, which is at work. So I think it’s great for you and also for the coaching clients that you work with to start this conversation and start off on a good foot. Because fortunately for me, I did end up doing something that did bring me a lot of joy, and that doesn’t always happen when you just throw yourself into the going through the motion yeah. In your career.

[07:18] Mercedes: Thank you. I’m going to have to hear more about this because I feel like actually that would be such a great career path for you. There’s still time, girl. There’s still time. No, I was kidding. Okay.

[07:28] Mama Telanna: I bet GRE book still on the show.

[07:30] Mercedes: Oh, my God, I forgot about that. Oh, my gosh. Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not going to get too distracted. You know, like, a lot of colleges are dropping that as a requirement. Yeah.

[07:39] Mama Telanna: So I’m just sitting here waiting. You waiting.

[07:44] Mercedes: I will be glad because honestly, but.

[07:46] Mama Telanna: They put me back in high school math.

[07:48] Mercedes: The GRE scoring is so frustrating. Sometimes I go back through my memories and I see where I had the specific score that I needed to get into my Master’s program. That was stressful. Anyway, okay, so before we get into it, I want to share that at the end of this podcast, I’m going to be sharing more about my journal. It’s called the Career Love Journal, and I created this to help women, specifically black women, find that career clarity in those 28 days. Because lacking the clarity is often what derails the entire job search. And people don’t think about that. They just think like, oh, they’re frustrated, they’re stuck, they’re whatever. And so I wanted a journal, and I think it’s so pretty, it’s purdy, and so it makes me want to write in it. But anyway, going through that journey yourself and kind of coaching yourself to what clarity is, I want you all to be able to have that. So I’ll talk about that at the end. Okay. So I guess I’m going to talk about what had happened. Right. What had happened was so just to give you a little bit of background on my career outside of a career coach, right. So I fell in love with human resources. So when people say, like, oh, I don’t know what a dream job is, I don’t know about loving work, I don’t understand that. I’m, like, can’t relate, respectfully can’t relate. Because when I found human resources, I was like, this is amazing. I originally wanted to be an industrial organizational psychologist, and I feel like I was kind of, like, jamming my desire to do HR, which I didn’t have a word for at the time, into psychology because I didn’t want to do research. I wanted to do more applied psychology and how that related to the workplace. And then I enrolled in my master’s program. And then I was like, oh, I discovered human resources. And then I literally never went back. I went and took all the HR classes. I got an internship, and then I became, like, an HR generalist. And then here we are seven years later. I went through that career path, kind of grew, and learned to do all different aspects of human resources. And then I went and I specialized in recruitment as what is called a talent consultant. So I did executive recruitment, and then about after a year of that, I became an HR manager overseeing a team of recruiters. And that’s where the clarity piece actually stopped for me, because there was never a time in that whole journey where I felt like I was out of alignment. And I think that was one of the most challenging things for me, is saying, like, hey, I’m actually, for the first time, career wise, not in alignment. But I hadn’t really thought about that, which is crazy, because I’m telling everybody.

[10:37] Mama Telanna: Else, like, you got to be in alignment.

[10:38] Mercedes: You got to know what you got to get clarity. And so when I was at a place where I was totally ready to leave my job, I wasn’t happy there anymore. I started applying to talent acquisition roles. I started applying to other manager roles, director level roles, roles that were like diversity recruitment roles as well. And I was not making attraction for over six months. That’s insane for me, because I’d be doing my thing, okay? I’ll be like, I’m ready to go by. I’ll see you all next time. So it was really like, I hit a moment where I was like, dang my confidence. I was like, something. What did I do? I might not be as good as I think I am. So I was going through it, and anyway, I feel like the moment I had this moment, I was on the phone with you, and I was crying. Mommy, why do you look away? You don’t remember that?

[11:36] Mama Telanna: I’m just joking.

[11:37] Mercedes: I was traumatized. I was so traumatized that Kevin, my stepfather, your husband, was like, It’s okay. I had to be having a rough time. And so it wasn’t until I actually went back and I thought, what is it that I really want? What is it that I want to do? What is it that most lights me up every single day at work? And I realized it was not the talent acquisition part of my job.

[12:06] Mama Telanna: It was going into health care like the rest of the family.

[12:08] Mercedes: Hell, no. I’ll be cracking me up with that. Okay, no, absolutely not. But what I realized, the part that I loved about my job the most was the de and I aspect of my job. I loved being able to bring talent in the organization, but I was way more excited that it was diverse talent. And I love to talk about recruitment practices, but I was way more excited that it was talking about being inclusive and equitable and righting wrongs and acknowledging systems of repression and how gender or race impacts a candidate in a process. And so I was like, wait a minute, wait a ****, hold up, maybe I need to rethink this. And so I always talk with my clients about finding their Eki guy or their sweet spot. And so that was actually more than six months into when I originally launched my job search that I finally did that one exercise for myself which is actually Asinine.

[13:16] Mama Telanna: Yeah, just a little bit, just a little bit.

[13:19] Mercedes: And so once I did that exercise, I was like, you know what, I want to do de and I like, I want to do that. And then I had to rethink my entire professional brand. I had to rethink the lens in which I looked at who I was as a professional and I went for it. And now I’m two months into my dream job and I’m so happy.

[13:42] Mama Telanna: So what’s the lesson that we get to learn from this?

[13:46] Mercedes: My lesson? I mean, I feel like I learned I think I learned a lesson that’s maybe different from the lesson that I’m trying to share from me chasing my dream job or chasing career alignment. But I think that sometimes when we feel that we have it figured out I’m a career coach, I have this figured out. Like I know how to job search, I know how to brand and our strategy. But it’s like all for what if you’re not going in the right direction. So I think for me it was one of those things of like I think the lesson that I want to share is that when we get so focused on the next step or especially when we are running from something that we no longer want to be in, is where I was. How do you still make sure that you’re not taking a step out of desperation, but you’re taking a step out of where you feel like your purpose is or where you feel like your passions are and you can go faster by slowing down and really considering it like what it is that you want.

[14:56] Mama Telanna: Yeah, beautiful. That’s where I was landing at when you were talking about that. I think so many times when things aren’t going our way, we look internally from a blaming perspective. And I think it’s so much it’s I think it’s so important to be able to pause because you know, one of my things, you ask good questions, you get answer, you get better answers. Right. I love that you were able to book name. Now you know, I’m not going to remember. Come on, the book name it is more beautiful questions.

[15:44] Mercedes: Yeah, we’ll put it in the show notes. It’s a really good book.

[15:47] Mama Telanna: I love that you were able to pause and just have this reflective time that didn’t send you down a hole, because oftentimes we just keep pushing ourselves in a hole instead of thinking positively to bring ourselves out of that hole. And I love that you just were very retrospective reflective. Wait, let’s go with reflective.

[16:15] Mercedes: I mean, it’s retrospective. Wait, is it?

[16:17] Mama Telanna: No, a little bit of it is, because you are looking back on what you’ve done. And then I would also say, too, it sounds like you said, okay, I’ve been using this strategy, and this strategy hasn’t been serving me. What’s the next best strategy? And strangely enough, it was your own strategy.

[16:38] Mercedes: I know this is not disrespectful.

[16:40] Mama Telanna: It was your own strategy that you weren’t using.

[16:48] Mercedes: Honestly, I played myself.

[16:51] Mama Telanna: Yeah, but that’s the power of coaching, though, right? If I’m going to say this, I feel like you stepped out of and this is the part that I love about coaching, especially coaching yourself. You have to have the ability to be the observer of your life. So I feel like if I’m just standing here like, you stepped out of your body, right? And you’re just like, yes.

[17:19] Mercedes: I would say I got out of my own way.

[17:21] Mama Telanna: Yeah, you got out of your own way. But I’m just saying this so that somebody can understand a visual of it. So you step out of your body, and you’re looking at yourself, and it’s almost if this was my client, what would I tell my client? Do? Because you’re in a position now where you’re able to observe yourself outside of the Mercedes that’s done this, done that, tried this, try that. Now you’re observing what you’re doing and as of the observer of your life, you’re like, I could tell my client, Go do the exercise. Right?

[18:02] Mercedes: Yeah.

[18:03] Mama Telanna: So I love that you did that for yourself.

[18:06] Mercedes: Yeah. I will also say there was something that my brain clung to when you were like, well, you didn’t go to the pit. And I was like, girl, I was in the pit. Okay? I was upset. I was traumatized. And I think we’ll talk about this at some point, too. I mean, we have a little bit, but the whole aspect of how big that misalignment can actually impact your life. Right. Because when I tell you all about mild depression, anxiety, I felt like I didn’t have a direction anymore. I was so frustrated. Yeah.

[18:40] Mama Telanna: I raised my coaching prices during that time.

[18:43] Mercedes: Girl, you would have been like, It’s okay. I would raise my Kajabi prices, my bin, salty prices. I was just joking. But I think that’s one of the things, too, is that in order for me to not go into that path, the wrong path right. I know that now was to realize that something was not right, was to realize, if I know that all of these strategies from a job search standpoint is not right, then it’s something else. Right. And I think about it later on, like, how I would go into interviews, like, for talent acquisition positions. And I’m not going into a company that’s not going to do right by having a deni program. So I would ask that, and I’d be ready to fight these people on the calls. And so it was really interesting to me to consider how I was showing up and presenting myself for I’m sure there are plenty of people that interviewed me that was like, I don’t think she’s applying for the right position. It’s one of those things where it’s like that alignment, like something felt wrong in even applying and looking at talent acquisition roles, but I wasn’t tapping into that and asking why.

[19:59] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And I guess that would be a good question to ask because when you just mentioning your interviews, the before ones and the after ones so what I was hearing was that before you had this revelation, there was some resistance and after that, there was more flow.

[20:24] Mercedes: It was so flow. I was getting on my interviews and I was like, getting mad at people. I don’t mean like, I don’t show up that way in interview, right? But I was like, what are these people doing? Their recruitment strategy is not right, and blah, blah, blah. And the more I think about it, that’s because I was already becoming who I was supposed to be in terms of looking at all of these things from a de. And I lunge because that’s what lit me up. And as soon as I was talking to my people about what I was supposed to be talking about, I was like yelling and screaming and laughing. You can probably hear me outside on my interviews. And I showed up with that because that’s what was really igniting that flame. And so I think it is that idea of yes, the flow of do you feel like in your element? Does this feel right? Does this feel natural? And I can definitely say when I started interviewing for other roles, my whole demeanor changed. Just talking to people about the work, not even getting an offer or whatever.

[21:26] Mama Telanna: And I think that takes out of that there is a certain amount of power that you released back to yourself where you just knew, well, you know what? I don’t have to take any job because you had made that identity switch.

[21:44] Mercedes: Yeah. Oh, my God.

[21:45] Mama Telanna: Which is so important.

[21:47] Mercedes: Yeah, it definitely was an identity switch. Because I remember I remember one time I got off an interview and I was like, I just talked to the CEO of the company and he said, oh my God, I was so ******. He said in an interview to me, a black woman, he was like I said something along the lines of, like, what is he doing to foster De and I in his organization? Which anyway but by the way, whether you want to be a deni professional or not, if you are a minority a black woman, a person of color. You better be asking these people these questions because they answer out of pocket. Okay? This man said to me, well, I wouldn’t want to hire less qualified people. That was a president of an organization where he automatically assumed that hiring a person of color meant I was hiring a less qualified person. And you know how I knew that? I was acting out of a place of desperation instead of power? What you said, I did not withdraw from that process.

[22:46] Mama Telanna: Yeah.

[22:47] Mercedes: And that’s craziness even though he sounds like a douche. Oh, my God.

[22:51] Mama Telanna: Can I say that?

[22:52] Mercedes: Yes. Probably not. It’s just crazy. And so I think it’s one of those things of like the person that I am today when you talk about identity would have been like just go ahead and just withdraw my application from that. And I don’t think I would have accepted that position. But I think that I was way too willing to figure out how to fix it. Like it’s not my job to fix it.

[23:19] Mama Telanna: I love that. I love that. And the biggest thing out of that, so many people live outside of their values. You will know when you are triggered by your values.

[23:28] Mercedes: Oh my God.

[23:29] Mama Telanna: And that is significant.

[23:30] Mercedes: Other will look at you and be like, are you okay? And I’ll be like, no. And then you proceed to rant for three more hours about how big of a jerk that CEO was for president. Yeah, crazy but yeah, I mean, I think that’s a good thing to think about from career alignment in terms of making sure that you are on the right path and making the right steps. Because one of the things that I think if you go into a job search without having your own values defined, without having your own interests and even boundaries defined, that you will end up in a cycle. Because I have seen this so many times. If I hadn’t thought about it, if I had been so desperate to leave and just get to that next step or whatever, then I could have ended up in a situation that was even worse in terms of workplace being in a toxic workplace or a discriminatory workplace or whatever. But if I hadn’t have even defined it at base value that having a diverse inclusive workplace was an important thing for me, I might have been in a bad place. And I feel like people don’t take time to understand that their values have to be as an alignment, as a job duties to have to be for them to be happy and to grow and have a successful career.

[24:48] Mama Telanna: Exactly. Definitely. I mean, I knew from the very beginning that I always needed to work at an organization that allowed me to honor my value, which is one of the highest for me, my family, and just being available to do what I got to do because I can’t be nowhere. That would be like, you can’t go pick up your children, or you can’t.

[25:18] Mercedes: I’ll see you tomorrow.

[25:20] Mama Telanna: It’s a no for me, and I will quit your job any day. It’s always been like that for me, and I’ve always showed up like that. So people just knew that was important to me, because even in all these jobs, people would treat you how you allow them to treat you. So those values are so important to you and reason why so many people end up being stressed, overwhelmed, unhappy because they take job. And now, look, I’m not here saying you can’t just take a job to meet a need when something happens in your life, but you have to understand that that’s not the place where you’re meant to plant yourself and grow. It’s temporary.

[26:11] Mercedes: And as long as you see it.

[26:12] Mama Telanna: Like that, that’s what it is. So I’m not talking about those situations where you have to do it because of some circumstance in your life.

[26:30] Mercedes: Hey there.

[26:31] Mercedes: It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the Show Notes.

[27:20] Mercedes: Love.

[27:21] Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.

[27:32] Mercedes: I have a question for you because I feel like I’ve been talking a lot too, but I’m not going to answer. You are going to answer because you always got some tea, okay? You got some what does that cost? Some novel insight. You always you got the what does your husband call it? Some nuggets. What do you know? He said you’re he said you weren’t listening to your mother in this past podcast. What did he say anyway? He was basically hiking you up. She dropped some knowledge. You weren’t listening to her. It’s okay. I got called naive earlier today too, so, you know, I just go let him do him. Oh. My question was so I speak to a lot of women that are like, I can’t have that. I want to be able to have a career where I can spend enough time or be there for my children or have the type of flexibility that I want or the comp, whatever it is, right? There’s always a need, right? We all have different needs, different boundaries that are going to allow us to live our best lives. And so what would you say to those women that think that what they actually want isn’t possible for them in their careers?

[28:44] Mama Telanna: I mean, first of all, is beginning the right organization? I think sometimes we just settle for what we get because the opportunity looks great. So I did start my career off in a large corporate healthcare setting. And I decided straight up that, okay, this isn’t going to work for me. And I decided to go and work for a family owned company. And of course, not all family owned companies are great, right? Some will run you through the ground. But like I said, I knew my value, so I knew I was aligning with a great company. So that’s important. And then the second thing that I would say, which is so important, the second thing is that feel your energy.

[29:39] Mercedes: Go ahead, drop the note.

[29:41] Mama Telanna: Often as mothers and caregivers or whatever, we have these unrealistic expectations of what is important to our kids. And it took me a while to get this. So while I would be frustrated getting up at 430 in the morning to cut up my kids sandwiches into these little shapes and do all this thing.

[30:06] Mercedes: Right, just want $5 for the vendor.

[30:08] Mama Telanna: That wasn’t important to them. And so I would say, if you feel like you’re in this space where you feel like you’re missing things or you need to be in this thing, have that conversation with your kids and say, what’s important for me to attend, where would you like to guarantee that I am at and go from there? I’m not at everything for my kids, but I’m at the most important things to them and it makes the world of difference. And so I went from going on every field trip and feeling guilty about the ones that I couldn’t go on, to really understanding what was important to my kids and understanding that those little cut up sandwiches that I used to get so mad about because they bought back home and didn’t eat because they ate that nasty school lunch. So I think that’s really important too. Understanding what’s important to you and to your family to make those type of decisions.

[31:08] Mercedes: It’s beautiful. Look at the growth.

[31:11] Mama Telanna: Because we put too much expectations on ourselves looking at other people and what they’re doing. We’re talking about careers. So I’m not going to go down that whole superwoman thing, but we’re going.

[31:24] Mercedes: To get to it. Okay?

[31:26] Mama Telanna: So I think those are the two most important things that I would say and just be willing to let go. Because I think every job I’ve ever had, like, they knew that if you come for me and what I need to do with my family, I’m a walk. Right up out of here. Okay. That’s why I don’t be stuff.

[31:47] Mercedes: So important to that is that they were definitely going to lose their top performer. They were losing their top performer.

[31:55] Mama Telanna: Yes.

[31:55] Mercedes: Like I said. What? I said, okay? I said what I said and you all could deal with it or you all could do all this work by yourself. Because I’m doing the work of 234-5678, 910, 1112.

[32:07] Mama Telanna: That would be the third thing too. Make sure your work ethic know your wife, make sure your work ethic allows you to have that power.

[32:20] Mercedes: Right, that’s true. But I was going to say, too, of like the upside of career alignment that people don’t talk about enough is like the upside of that. You become the best at what you do. You become the best that ever did it. You become the only that can do it. Yeah.

[32:38] Mama Telanna: The asset today, if I’m missing something’s wrong in the whole company.

[32:43] Mercedes: And it gives you this complete shift to be able to walk in not just your purpose, but the essence of you every day. And I think when I think about how I get to show up every day at work today, it’s very different. I get to talk about what I want to naturally love to talk about. I’m almost like Mercedes growing. You shut up. These people are going to sleep until I tell you. It’s like, we know, but we know. I’m just kidding.

[33:09] Mama Telanna: That’s the important for them, knowing that you show up because you want to be there, not showing up because I’m receiving something from you. I don’t think that I’ve ever shown up because I was showing up for a check. I’ve showed up because I enjoyed what I was doing and I wanted to be there and I wanted to be with the people that I worked with because I enjoyed it. And so that’s a big difference if you’re waking up and you’re like, oh, my God, I got to go here, but I got to get this bank, that is a bad sign.

[33:46] Mercedes: And I feel like when you do that, it’s like that’s what leads to you feeling depressed or for you to feel like you’re not living the life that you want to live, because then you think that that’s not possible for you to feel that type of fulfillment and meaning at work. It is. It just means that you aren’t doing the right kind of work.

[34:10] Mama Telanna: And that’s what allows your employers, sorry, employers to take advantage of you.

[34:18] Mercedes: Too that’s true. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Because that leads you back to boundaries, too, because it doesn’t mean that your work. Because I think there’s like that fine line between work and your whole being. Because I think the great thing about being in alignment at work is I get to tap into my gifts and get that energy and still after work be able to use that energy and other things that I want to do, whether that’s family or career coaching or travel or building my empire. Okay. And so I think that’s so powerful in that, yes, you can have that type of meaningful, purpose driven career path, but that doesn’t mean that you allow your life to be consumed and to still have your boundaries. But for me, for the most part, all of the employer that I’ve had the great opportunity to work for, whether or not I had some feelings about them upon my departure, is that they knew I was going to do the **** thing, it was going to be done. And I have to explain where I was, what I was doing, when I was doing what I wasn’t doing. And I also had the freedom to be like, I’m just not. And so it’s one of those things where just because you’re in alignment with what you want to do and what you’re happy to, you can happy to do, you can suddenly be out of alignment. And I think that’s the part where you’re talking about ease, right? Like, if you are working overtime to do something because you’re passionate about it, but you can’t take one from the other, you still don’t feel easy, still feel like there’s something out of alignment.

[35:54] Mama Telanna: That was a lot.

[35:55] Mercedes: It was a lot.

[36:06] Mama Telanna: Hey, y’all, Telanna here. From purpose minded woman, are you ready to shift from doing it all to doing what matters most? You are an educated, ambitious and driven woman who has created a good life. But sometimes I know that meant putting your desires on the back burner, trying to do it all alone, only to give up too soon on your own dreams because it didn’t happen fast enough. Or maybe for you, life distractions got in the way. Whatever it is, I want to know if you’re ready to move from good to great and create the life you’ve only been writing about in your journals. If you are, why haven’t you scheduled a complimentary call with me yet? The truth is, you don’t need more information. You need more action and better results. Schedule a call with me today and I’ll show you how. With the right mindset, guidance, motivation, accountability, support and strategy, you can stay consistent in creating the life you’ve been secretly dreaming of and achieve anything. So schedule your call today@purposemindedwoman.com. A question for you.

[37:31] Mercedes: So you’ve been me again? Yeah, girl, I’ve been talking a lot. You have questions for me? Please tell me. But you’ve been asking me questions. So you’ve been in the same career path for how many years? Longer than I’ve been?

[37:46] Mama Telanna: A lot.

[37:49] Mercedes: So what was it?

[37:51] Mama Telanna: 30 girls? More or less. Wow.

[37:54] Mercedes: So what was it that allowed you? You said like, you originally have this career path, but it became something that was even though you might not have expected it, something that you’re very passionate that you love doing and you’re passionate about the industry that you work in. So how did you know that and what has that meant, do you think, for you over the years in your career to have that alignment from the start of your career 30 years ago?

[38:20] Mama Telanna: I think it’s important in knowing what drives you and what brings you joy. So of course, there’s some parts of the jobs that I have had that didn’t bring me joy right. But the bigger parts of it. And so really knowing yourself, understanding your strengths and the things that you enjoy doing, I think those things I understood early were important to me and that I could find them in the position that I was in. And because I’m a learner, I wasn’t going to be in this position where, okay, this is what I was hired to do and that’s all I’m going to do. I always made it a point where I was going to learn above and beyond whatever organization I was in or whatever I was taught there, I was going to always try to excel. And I think that’s what really makes it exciting and what has made it exciting for me. Right. Because that’s just my nature, always trying to figure out how to do something better.

[39:33] Mercedes: I mean, I think that’s interesting because I think that’s like a little bit about when we talked about the beginning of this idea of having a successful career and having a legacy or generating wealth too, in that. Because when you are in something that you enjoy doing like you do, that success is so much more natural to you. And black women in the workplace already have so much that we have to come up against, whether that’s promotions or representation or straight up racism, discrimination, discriminatory practices. Okay. And to say we have to fight all of that. So why can’t our career be more of ease for us? And the fact that when we are at ease in the work that we do, not that it can’t be challenging, but you are enjoying that in that.

[40:24] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And that’s not to say that I haven’t had those stores or a moment of regret and said, you know what, I should have went and worked for a bigger company. Because like one day I think my husband said to me, well, if you would have worked at a corporate company, you would have made more money. And that is probably true. If I worked at a larger healthcare organization, I would have made more money. But he’s looking at it from what was important to him or what he perceives was important to me. And for me, I still fall back on those values for me.

[41:06] Mercedes: Oh my gosh. Yeah.

[41:07] Mama Telanna: And so, yeah, there are some times when I’m like, okay, what would life have been if I went down this corporate role? Could I have been an admin of a hospital? But then I would be like, no, that definitely out of alignment. Definitely out of alignment for my parents. In style. Right.

[41:30] Mercedes: People in health care, I’m like, Are you okay? Yeah, exactly. You’re in health care. But I mean, like, in a hospital.

[41:38] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And I don’t want to some people say, well, you choose to make that sacrifice, and I don’t even see it as a sacrifice. A choice that is a choice that you desire and aligns with your values is just one worth living in the long run. I feel like myself, my kids, hopefully, are better for the choices that I made. And so I think that it’s important to just take ownership of what you want and run with it, even if people don’t really understand. Because I remember when I resigned from the hospital, they were like, what? You’re going to do what? And I’m like, I sure am.

[42:23] Mercedes: Bye. But I think one of the most inspiring things, you don’t like to toot your horn, but I was like, I’m tooting it. Following that path for you led you to a path where you are today that you never probably anticipated for your life.

[42:45] Mama Telanna: No. I mean, are you talking about the ownership of yes Girl?

[42:50] Mercedes: No, of course.

[42:52] Mama Telanna: I would have never thought that was in God’s plans for me, but apparently it was, and I’m grateful for that.

[43:06] Mercedes: When you see those pictures, when they’re like, I was the teenager, and then I was the shift lead, and then I became the floor lead, and now I’m overseeing the entire hospital. And I feel like that’s your story. And it’s amazing because it’s like, when you are leaning into that, it is like, what’s possible for you changes when you follow the path that you’re exactly.

[43:32] Mama Telanna: And it’s beautiful to be able to live a life without the resistance.

[43:41] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. We get enough out there.

[43:43] Mama Telanna: Yeah. There’s so much stuff out there to mess you up that it’s great to just be able to have one area in your life where there’s not that much resistance, there’s not distractions. You’re in flow in that area, and you just do you?

[44:03] Mercedes: Yeah. I think the funny thing is, I’ve certainly had those moments of just really dreading. I’ve probably had a lot of dreading waking up, dreading having a meeting, dreading finishing a project. I have not felt that way once since I started my new job. It’s just the idea of pure bliss and happiness in what you do, and I think that’s an amazing thing.

[44:28] Mama Telanna: So I love that you said, now you wake up. So this is Monday. Is it Monday?

[44:36] Mercedes: Monday.

[44:39] Mama Telanna: And I know there are some people that didn’t have the holiday off, and they went to work, and they’re dreading it, and they’re, like, in their miserable place, and they’re just like, this is the worst thing ever. They’re counting down the minutes that’ll do the seconds.

[44:55] Mercedes: That’s how you become Alexa Pro. Girl. I haven’t taken any. Alexa Pro.

[45:04] Mama Telanna: I’m proud of you.

[45:05] Mercedes: Great.

[45:06] Mama Telanna: That’s wonderful.

[45:07] Mercedes: That’s crazy chef’s kiss. Okay, go ahead.

[45:10] Mama Telanna: What is their first step? That’s hard.

[45:17] Mercedes: That’s actually a hard question. I mean, it’s not hard for me to answer, but I think the mindset that would keep us in a place that feels like that to us can be so different based on who you are. Maybe you keep going to that job because you don’t believe there’s other stable careers financially. Maybe you don’t leave that job because you feel like you don’t have the right skill set for what you actually want to do. Maybe it’s more of like a follow through thing. Like, you know, you want this job, you know, here’s how you can get there, but you’re so tired, you’re so drained that you can’t show up. That’s hard. And so I think what the question is, what is the thing that wakes you up from that snaps you out.

[46:11] Mama Telanna: Of the what is it called? I don’t know. Sometimes we just need a kick in our butt.

[46:16] Mercedes: Yeah, okay, but what is the kick in the butt? What is it for you? And I think for me, it was realizing that unless I make a change, my life is not going to get any better.

[46:29] Mama Telanna: Okay, so what I would like you to do because okay. I would like you to be able to frame that in a question. Frame that in an empowering question for the woman or the black woman listening to this, who has been waking up every day and trying to figure it out, but not really being able to break through that resistance in her own mind. Right? Because she’s been ruminating on everything that’s going on. What is the question? What is one question that she can begin to ask herself?

[47:12] Mercedes: The question that I like to ask, and I think the question that I ask myself is I think I’ve asked this question on the podcast already before, too, because it’s a powerful question. I think it’s like, why can’t it get better than it already is? Or why can’t I have more than I already have? Because I think when you think of from a place of feeling stuck in somewhere you don’t want to be, the only reason that you’re there is because you don’t think you can get better. Now, the reasons that you don’t think that could be totally different, but it’s because you think that there’s some barrier that means you can’t leave or you can’t have something better.

[47:52] Mama Telanna: Yeah, exactly. So I love the idea of that. And I’m also throwing one of my favorite questions, which I ask myself a lot, at least a few times a week, is that, how do I want to experience this, whatever situation it is? So even at your workplace, you get to ask yourself, how do I want to experience my time here?

[48:24] Mercedes: You mean here on Earth?

[48:25] Mama Telanna: No, here at your job. How do you want to experience your time. Yeah, but here’s the thing. This is the reason why I ask that question, because that question has the ability to shift you from out of a negative state into a more positive state, where you are able to begin to think of other questions to build on it instead of you just sitting in a negative state in your office.

[48:55] Mercedes: That’s so true.

[48:56] Mama Telanna: Yeah. So it’s not one of those that’s going to give you all the answers, what you’re looking for, but it’s a starting point for other questions.

[49:04] Mercedes: It almost helps you identify what it’s wrong actually and to seek it elsewhere. Because if I thought about that question, I was like, wow, I want to be in a workplace where I feel.

[49:15] Mama Telanna: Fully supported by your ideal job. It helps you.

[49:18] Mercedes: Yeah. And the idea is that now I feel the polar opposite of that. Like I feel fully supported in who I am, the work that I do and what I’ve been hired to do. Right. That’s really powerful question.

[49:32] Mama Telanna: So then after you ask yourself, how do I experience, the next thing is.

[49:36] Mercedes: Let me go get it, what do.

[49:38] Mama Telanna: I need to do to experience? And I’m sure even in the I love that question because you can use it for any area in your life.

[49:48] Mercedes: Okay. Coach Tilana. Coach mama Tilana. She’s some dropping the nuggets. That’s a good one. I’m going to put that in my coaching back pocket. Yeah.

[49:58] Mama Telanna: Because even out in the public, I don’t like large crowds and stuff. And so I’m constantly you’re here, which I will be asking myself at the Beyonce concert you all are dragging me to.

[50:10] Mercedes: No, I’m going to be like, me, I didn’t drag you there.

[50:14] Mama Telanna: So I’m going to be asking myself, how do I want to experience this? And I want to experience it as a memory with my kids. So I’m not even going to be worrying about all the other weird people.

[50:24] Mercedes: Around this because in my head I’d be like, I want to experience this because that’s the whole thing. Like a lot of people what are you looking at? Like, girl, what you’re talking about? So you know how all those people want to be in the mosh pit? I’m like, no, I want to be in like a box that’s floating. I don’t want to be around nobody else. Okay, exactly. But that’s okay. That’s why I don’t want to be down there.

[50:45] Mama Telanna: Exactly.

[50:46] Mercedes: We’re going to go into it. Like I said, you can any area in your life.

[50:51] Mama Telanna: It’s just a brilliant question.

[50:53] Mercedes: Yeah, because it helps you figure out what lifestyle you want to live.

[50:57] Mama Telanna: And I know that I read that in a book somewhere too.

[51:00] Mercedes: Is it the more beautiful question?

[51:03] Mama Telanna: No kidding.

[51:05] Mercedes: Okay, so I told you all at the end of the podcast because I think we’re getting there and it also leads I might have to go update the journal. Okay. With that question because I was talking about the journal and it’s less than a year now, I think it’s six months ago I created a journal to help black women do this, ask themselves those big questions to help them be able to chase that career alignment and be reflective and use a pretty journal to do that. And so I wanted to read a couple of questions that I have in here because I want to definitely encourage you all to download it. It’s free. If you want to purchase a physical version of the journal, you can if you like to write in it. But the idea is you asking these questions is one of the best things that you can do to figure out what that career alignment is. And so this journal really takes you on a 28 day journey to really explore what that is. And so one of the very first questions right out the gate, day one, I was not being nice to you all. I said if there were no limits to what I could achieve, I would do this. Because it’s like people get stuck in the what is possible, what career could I actually have? And sometimes they don’t think about the bigger things in life, the values, like being a mom, being available, right? It’s like all of those things for your career to be in alignment, all of those things have to be too, right? Because then it’s just straight up not. And then also the journal also takes you through some more reflections about your career. And a lot of times we want to admit to ourselves the career that we really want. Like, oh, I can’t be in D and I because I don’t have that title. It’s like, okay, but what have you been dreaming about? And that’s day eight, what is the career that you’ve been dreaming about? And usually that’s when people say what they really want versus what they think they can have. So I really love that. And then also it helps you to start to break through some of those mindset shifts. So day 15 is even though the thought of pursuing my career goal seems daunting, I know it’s possible because so it gives you that power to start to reframe some of those things that you’re feeling that tell you that you can’t and that you can. And then you go through this phase of like dumping all your limiting beliefs and kind of reforming yourself to come from a place of confidence, come from that place of power, like you said, and really start to understand the value of who you are, the work that you do and why and then start to make a plan to moving towards that. And I end out the journal with two things, legacy and action, right? Because I think when you know what you want to be able to say at the end of your life that’s so inspiring to move forward. So I have in here on day 25, I’m going to have to add another day for your thing because I got a lot of good questions in here already. It says at my retirement party speech, I will be able to say, lovely. And then on the last part, you’re going to take that leap of inspired action and you’re like, I’m going to immediately move towards this career alignment by doing this. And it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t have to be, I’m going to quit my job today. No, we have this. Don’t quit your job, okay, just because you’re feeling inspired, okay? There’s a plan, there’s action. Okay? But what can you do today that’s going to help you get one step closer to career alignment? And that may be answering a question that may be updating your resume, that might be reaching out to a colleague that you know, who’s in the career path or is at the company that you want to be at. And there’s all steps in between, but, like, taking that action, that immediate action today, right after you finish this podcast, okay? To move forward and see a little sliver of that, that’s powerful. That’s what I got to say today. Cool. So I will put the career love journal below. It’s free. You can download it. If you were like, girl, I need some more of you in my life as my career coach. Then you can schedule a call with me below too, if you like. My mom, I mean, I don’t know why she is fabulous. Obviously, I’m inspired by her story, but obviously she will get you all the way together, too. Okay, I’m going to need to get some coaching questions from her, too. Then you can schedule a call with her below to kind of talk about where you see your life and where you’re going with that. So that being said, thank you so much for joining. This is a really exciting podcast, and I was really excited to just share where I have been and why I have been so happy and jumping off the wall and excited about my career. And I want that for you, too, okay? So I hope that you can use this to advance your career. So all that being said, we out next time. See you all later, okay? We can’t wait to be like we’re on our thousands, thousands of plays, 1000 plays, okay? So see y’all later. Bye. Bye. Hey, Mercedes here. Before you go really quick, make sure that you subscribe to this podcast if you have loved what we are putting out there, okay? And also, if there’s somebody in your life that you know could benefit from this information, make sure you share this podcast, okay? They need the love, too. And finally, to help us grow, we are so excited about, again, this 100 views, plays, whatever you want to call it, and we want more, so definitely leave a review to help us grow this podcast. Okay, bye.

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