Summary of Chasing Holistic Wellness

We love our Krabby Patties but we’re still on our holistic wellness journey.

Join your hosts Mercedes and Mama Telanna as they go beyond french fries to share a candid and insightful conversation that dives deep into wellness and holistic healthcare.

Mama Telanna opens up about her recent venture into holistic healthcare with an integrative doctor, turning 50, and the pivotal moments that led her to prioritize her well-being. Discover the role of technology in their wellness routines, from glucose monitors to Oura rings, and how data-driven insights have empowered them to make informed decisions about their health.

From battling the temptation of french fries to confronting the realities of aging and autoimmune diseases, Telanna’s story is a testament to the power of proactive health management and finding joy in the journey.

Mercedes, not to be left behind, shares her own experiences of falling off the wellness wagon and the revelations that have pushed her towards a more mindful and health-conscious lifestyle.

Together, we explore how technology like MyFitnessPal, Smartwatches, and even virtual reality games like Supernatural have become our allies in the quest for better health. But it’s not all tech; we delve into the emotional and spiritual aspects of wellness, challenging the idea that health transformations need to stem from trauma or drastic life changes. It’s a conversation about making peace with your body, embracing change at your own pace, and the realization that sometimes, the most significant wellness breakthroughs come from the simplest of questions: “Can I still have my coffee?”

Whether you’re just starting your journey or interested in going deeper, this episode is a mix of laughter, sincerity, and a bit of mother-daughter banter that promises to inspire, motivate, and maybe even convince you to give those VR workouts a try. So plug in, get comfortable, and let’s chase wellness together.

And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us your thoughts, review, or note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

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LINKS AND RESOURCES

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Oura Ring: https://ouraring.com/

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

About Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

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Chasing Holistic Wellness Transcription

Telanna: If you would have told me that, like, I could go a month without french fries, girl, preach.
Mercedes: That’s the testimony right there. This is the lead into the episode. A month without french fries. You have been delivered.
Telanna: Yes. Come on now.
Mercedes: Come on now. Amen.
Telanna: Reach godfather and have some potatoes for me in heaven.
Mercedes: Yes, ma’am, every day. Well, yeah, maybe once in a while you can have some french fries, but.
Telanna: I will say that is the absolute thing I asked the integrative doctor. I’m like, look, lady, I don’t care what’s in these 23 pages. All I need to know is, can I still have coffee? If I cannot have coffee, just throw my whole body away.
Mercedes: I would just go to early grave, because.
Telanna: Hey, chasers, it’s Mercedes and Mama Telanna here.
Mercedes: It’s your favorite mother daughter duo. And we are finally back with another episode. Today we are talking about wellness. Yes. We are going to be talking about holistic healthcare and how we’re using technology to support this as one of our biggest goals. Now, me, your girl Mercedes has been off the bandwagon, okay? But I started off 2024 strong. We are eight days in. But Mama Telanna had a very lovely, amazing last year where she just went and brought in the new year strong. She may say otherwise, but I’m going to pass it off to her to tell us a little bit about her wellness journey so far.
Telanna: Hey. Well, Mama Telanna turned 50 last year. Really? Sounded a little bit lame. I need some more energy behind. Well, I didn’t want 50.
Mercedes: I didn’t want to bust our friend’s eardrums. But I do have.
Telanna: You know what?
Mercedes: We got a new podcasting app that we’re using.
Telanna: It has sound effects. All right, I’m sorry, guys. That was the app.
Mercedes: Sound effect.
Telanna: Okay, well, that was an apping. That was an apping. Next time, I’ll bring my own little horn, okay?
Mercedes: Okay. Sorry.
Telanna: But, yes, I turned 50 last year. And so, as you know, for most women, maybe not you guys, right? Because you all are doing a lot better with embodying whoever I want to be. You’re not waiting till that 40 year old midlife crisis. You all are doing it now, which is wonderful. But for my generation, us Gen Xers, we had the midlife crisis at 40, and then I feel like at 50, you have the health life crisis, right. Although it’s not really anything serious, right? So I turned 50 last year, and one of the things that was on my life list to do was to really visit a functional, integrative doctor. And one of the things. I feel like mercedes can relate to this, even though she kind of fell off the wagon, the truck, the van, whatever.
Mercedes: It left me in the dust. And it said, I’m going to leave a couple of pounds with you as I leave you.
Telanna: I think if you’ve listened to our previous podcast, we try to find ways that are maybe a little bit unconventional, a lot of ways that use technology, because we both love technology. And so, as you know, with one of the previous podcasts, we did the floating right, and that was all about the health, too. And so with this episode, we’re just going a little bit deeper around what other steps that I took in order to really figure out what my future, best self health wise looks like. Right? Because I’m only going to get older, I’m going to look fabulous, right? But I’m going to get older. And so I really want to make sure that I know what I’m looking forward to and then really putting myself in the best position possible to be able to deal with my health in the future.
Mercedes: That was a lot. I didn’t hear anything that you said.
Telanna: Wow, podcast.
Mercedes: Okay, so I love that you were talking about, like, we have this moment where we’re like, I can’t keep doing this, which is how a lot of times we get to most of our goals of actually doing the work or taking action. But what was it that really made you do that in a different way? I know you were like, I turned 50. But what really made that difference for.
Telanna: You to see this difference in business? Why are you trying to get.
Mercedes: That’s what I’m here for as you’re. I’m not here for the soft questions, okay? I’m here for the hardball, get right to it questions, okay? I’m not Shannon sharpening it. Okay.
Telanna: Sound like you’ve been listening to the Shayshe club. But anyway.
Mercedes: Dragged him, mommy. No, people dragged him. Say, what kind of questions are you asking, sir?
Telanna: But anyway, I don’t claim that we won’t go there.
Mercedes: Okay?
Telanna: So for me, rheumatoid arthritis runs in my family. I’m not really sure if it’s hereditary, but I think it is. I don’t know if it’s.
Mercedes: Thank you for that.
Telanna: I don’t know if there is a consensus about that, but generally, more or less I think that it is. And so that is an autoimmune disease. And so I feel like given that it’s in my family, I really wanted to make sure that I stopped ignoring that, because for a while it’s like, I’ve known it was there. But like you said, that day comes when you wake up and you’re like, okay, I’m sick of this. I need to do something about it. And if I don’t do something about it now, it’s just going to get worse. And so I think for me, turning 50, right. Was also a wake up call to say, okay, Telanna, now this is the time for you to really do something about it. Because I may not have an opportunity to fully correct it, but I can definitely slow it down, if that makes sense.
Mercedes: Yeah, for sure. It’s not just, I don’t know, the generational or the genetic pieces, like, whether it’s hereditary or not. But also, I think, kind of all these other compounding effects of how poor wellness or health kind of makes you feel. I think that’s been one of the biggest things for me. That has been the shift of, like, I can see how different I feel when I’m eating better or exercising more. So I’ve been trying to. When you talk about that embody piece, like, really trying to stay connected with that, like, how she feels, like, when she’s. Can’t say I’m totally there because I was struggling today and I had to go pick up some trail mix. Okay. Instead of the Ferrero Rocheres, I did eat a krabby patty, but I only ate one Krabby patty, and it was 33 calories. So thank you, my fitness pal, for enabling my 33 calories of sweets today. You are welcome. Yeah, I didn’t say you. I said my fitness pal, too. Are you my fitness pal? I wasn’t talking about you because you did not see my Krabby Patty, even though you’re the reason why I have that problem. So take that hereditary problem.
Telanna: You’re welcome. They are great little snacks because, you.
Mercedes: Know, they’re not all made the same.
Telanna: Of course I do. I love SpongeBob, so why wouldn’t I love Krabby patties?
Mercedes: Crabby patties are made the same. The gummy ones. Okay, so let’s get into this, right? So you said, I acknowledge that I had this moment where I was like, I’m not going to do this anymore. How did you get from that to saying, I’m going to go do this holistic wellness piece and all of these other things that you’ve implemented, like, we’re doing myfitness pal. You have some other technology we’re using. Notion, aura ring, Samsung health, all different sorts of things. So how did you get from here’s? What I want, and here’s how I’m going to actually implement this into my life. Yes.
Telanna: So, a few years ago, I had my gallbladder removed. Right. I think that was 2016, maybe.
Mercedes: That was very traumatic.
Telanna: I’m sorry. Stay off the french fries. Stop eating the Krabby patties. There’s my advice. God.
Mercedes: Listen, ma’am, I’m trying to counteract all this, okay? How many years?
Telanna: How many years? Yeah. So, with losing your gallbladder, there are certain things that came with it. And with it came, for me, was, like, a lot of bloating. From 2016 up until now, I just experienced bloating just from random, different foods that I might eat. But I’m not really tracking it enough. I’m not giving myself the data to be able to make better decisions about my food habits. And so that was one reason. The second reason, like I said, the fact that rheumatoid is in our family. And then I think the third reason was also recognizing that perhaps my body might have started to go into this perimenopause stage. I noticed, of course, having some hot flushes, having some difficulty sleeping, also still having a different type of bloating, I felt like. And so it was just like, okay, enough is enough. Because if you can’t be comfortable in your own body, there’s really something really wrong with that. And then, too, there’s a spiritual side of that too, for me as well, because, of course, the Bible says that our bodies are actually the temple of the Lord. And so it’s like, okay, here I am in this position where I’ve been giving this beautiful gift of this body, and I’ve spent most of my adult life abusing it. Some people might say abuse is kind of strange, but it’s actually abuse when, you know, like, I shouldn’t be eating as many french fries as I have been eating. But what can I say? I love french fries. So really, that’s where it started. It was like, you know what? It’s all piling on top of each other. Low energy, just all sorts of stuff. It was just like a downpour. So I’m like, you know what? Something’s got to give.
Mercedes: Yeah, I can definitely agree with that. I think for me, more so as I have a way that I want to see myself in clothes or booty naked in the mirror. Yeah, girl. Okay. But I think one of the challenges with that is kind of, like, this idea that you still kind of have this desire, this goal, and you see yourself in that cycle. Because I know, that’s what everyone talks about when it comes to fitness and health goals of one having this desire to be there, but kind of going through the cycle of in and out, fluctuating weight, but then also kind of separating that idea from what looks to be physical health versus actually feeling healthy. And I think that’s the difference for me this time of, like, there’s no reason that I should be taking two tums every night before I go to bed unless somebody snuck coconut milk into my food. Okay, that’s my one valid excuse, talking about the coconut milk right now. Coconut milk has ruined many a night. Many nights. But that being said, I think that’s been the thing for me this time. Just really seeing. Wanting to be more thoughtful about the health side of it and the wellness side of it. And I think that’s why my fitness pal, I used to just be just tracking calories, like, how much can I eat today? How much can I eat today? But I have really liked seeing the difference in my sleep score and seeing what my micronutrients looks like and doing my food diaries on these different websites. So let’s talk a little bit about the technology. I know that you’re using an aura ring, and I think you’re also using Samsung health and myfitness.
Telanna: So as a result of going to my physician, it wasn’t my regular physician. So I just throw that out there. I know that we don’t want to run on in this episode about all of this, so we might do a second episode more about going to an integrative doctor outside of your regular primary care doctor, because it actually wasn’t my primary care physician that helped me with all of this. Right. I would just go to him and.
Mercedes: He would say, oh, look, you’re getting.
Telanna: Close to being pre diabetic. Work on that. Right?
Mercedes: Not helpful, sir. Not helpful.
Telanna: Yeah, not helpful at all. Right? And so I’m like, well, I’m not diabetic yet. Let’s go get those french fries, please. All right. Going to the integrative doctor really opened my eyes. And I will also say, too, it was probably in 2018 that I first heard, okay, go visit an integrative doctor. And I also heard that it was extremely expensive, like, thousands of thousands of dollars.
Mercedes: Really hard to find them. Right?
Telanna: Yeah, exactly. Actually, the one that I was looking at was all the way down in Fort Lauderdale somewhere. So I just put it on that life. Like, that’s not something I need to do right now.
Mercedes: I see you when I’m pre diabetic.
Telanna: Yeah.
Mercedes: No, that’s not funny.
Telanna: And so we put limitations on ourself. I didn’t do any research. I just took it for what it was. But at the same time, too, I feel like God puts you in a position to give you what you need when you need it. So I didn’t necessarily need it back then, or maybe I wouldn’t have been ready for it back then. So it is what it is. But the integrative doctor was like, I want you to actually go and get a glucose monitor so you can start tracking your sugar. And I’m like, okay, you know what? I went from one Doctor who never.
Mercedes: Told me I was fat, like, at all. That was wild.
Telanna: Never right to this doctor. So I was thrilled about that. So I got that. I have, of course, blood pressure monitor, which that’s all fine and under control now. I got my oring last year before I went to the integrative doctor. And I love this little thing because the more data that you have about what your body is doing, the better you are able to make adjustments for yourself, right? So when I wake up in the morning and I look at my aura app, I can tell what type of day I’m going to have, right?
Mercedes: Is that good or bad?
Telanna: It’ll literally say, girl, you ain’t had enough sleep or you didn’t have enough. You need to take it easy today. And it’s not lying. So I love just being able to have that data, and I also take that data, and I put it in the notion so that I want to see the big picture of it all. So I also load it in notion. I just started using my fitness pal with crusaders as a form of accountability as well. So I’m using that, the paid version, because I’ve done things like Noom before, but with Noom. The thing that I love, the psychology of Noom, the thing that annoyed me with Noom, is that its library is, like, ridiculous. So they need to do better with that. And then, like you said, I’m also using my watch that keeps telling me I’m not walking enough, not taking enough steps. Right.
Mercedes: Listen, Sam is petty.
Telanna: It is petty. But even though I have been told that that whole 10,000 step thing was a market employee.
Mercedes: Was it really? Wait, come on.
Telanna: That’s what I found out. I was listening to some.
Mercedes: Wait for the fitness trackers or something else.
Telanna: No, it was for the fitness trackers. But it was like, I want to say it was like the. Don’t know. If it was in China, I would have to look for it. And hopefully I can look for it and put it in the show notes, because it was used as a marketing tool to get people to focus on their health and wellness. And I don’t know if it’s actually scientifically proved that you need the 10,000 step.
Mercedes: Okay. I thought you were saying that, you know how people. The whole conspiracy theory with. I don’t know if it’s a conspiracy, but how that healthy food chart is based on marketing people that they needed, like, the dairy, is not really that important.
Telanna: I wouldn’t be surprised about that either.
Mercedes: So I thought that’s where you were going with the people with the watch manufacturers, like, the fitbits of the world and the garmins of the world. They were like, if we can just get people to feel that they have to track their.
Telanna: Yes.
Mercedes: Which is for sure. Oh, okay. It is.
Telanna: That is what I’m saying. It was a company, I believe, somewhere in Asia, in the.
Mercedes: Well, I mean, as much as I want to be like, ooh, conspiracy theory about it, I will say that the steps helps me better evaluate my activity levels, which is helpful. And then also, who knows? Whatever. The American Heart association could also be a load of ****. But I think their thing is, like, 30 minutes of activity. Yeah.
Telanna: And I think that’s why no one really bothers about it. Right. Because it’s legit either way, it’s still good for your health. But I think with my goals, one of the things that I’m really focused on, I’m not focused so much on making sure that I do a particular thing or a particular outcome. I’m really focused on what my desire is to embody a healthy person, what that identity looks like. Right. So that may not necessarily mean I’m tied to this outcome of, I have to take 10,000 steps a day. For me, one of my goals is to hit my activity marker on my. Hit my activity marker on my aura ring, because it gives you an activity score every day, and the more you hit it, the higher it goes up. And so I feel like if I’m hitting that or maybe for somebody else, if they’re using Google, if you’re hitting Google fit, I think Apple phones have a little circles of all the colors you’re achieving that you know that you’re doing the work, and it eventually is all going to add up. I think that’s what’s most important. Instead of stressing out, should I get on the scale? Should I be measuring every little thing? I think it’s important to find what you love, experiment with it a little bit and then move on to the next thing.
Mercedes: I know. This is going to sound, like, very counterintuitive of most of the ways that we talk about embodying the person that we want to be or the person that we are becoming. But I think actually, for this one, at least, when I was originally starting this and I talked about how a lot of that had to do with body perception, my own self perception of my body. But I actually found that demotivating because I would look at it and I would say, oh, a healthy person would not eat this Ferreira rochere. A healthy person would not eat this krabby patty. And I guess when I’m saying it out loud now, I’m like, that’s a ridiculous thing for you to say. That’s how you embody a healthy person. But I was using very punitive metrics or evaluations of that progress. So I think that was why using my fitness pal has been super. Like, I’m mostly on Samsung health just because I want to track my activity and to be honest, see how many calories, because, like, so food driven. I just want to eat all day. Food is happiness, okay. Food is happiness, okay. But I think I found a way to be like, okay, well, I’m incentivizing myself. Like, okay, if I’m active today, if I play supernatural today, if I go on a walk, like, oh, that means more calories. It’s been really interesting where then I then value those calories more, and I’m actually less likely to eat them. So I’ve somehow psychologied myself into this, which I’m okay with. But I will say that being able to see what food is this really high calorie, it’s also helped me be more intentional about just not overeating because it’s just customary. Like, I looked today and I was like, I’m going to eat two pieces of bacon because I want bacon. And that’s not a healthy food, but I want bacon. And I’ll have two eggs and some avocado. But normally that portion for me would have been like, I have three pieces of bacon, a slice of bread, some toast, some ham, some avocado, put some onion on, some tomato on there, and then I’ll have three pieces, oh, maybe some fruit on the side. What are my things?
Telanna: I think that’s the healthy way to do it. And I think that’s what I like so much about noom is like, it didn’t limit what you were eating. It didn’t try to put you on any strict diet. But what you said, you become more mindful of the things that you’re eating when you’re using the know, it’s like kids when they get their first job, right? And you’re like, oh, I want to go to McDonald’s. And you’re like, well, in this day and age, your McDonald’s is probably cost more than an hour of, you know, for high school kids or whatever. And so it’s the same thing with the food. You have choices that you can make because, you know, I love coffee, right? And I’m pretty sure that most of the sugar that I consumed in my life, the creamer was from creamer.
Mercedes: That’s the one thing I love, is creamer.
Telanna: People probably don’t even pay attention to that, right? Because if I’m having like three cups of coffee a day, sometimes four, just depending on how I feel, and I’m putting creamer in all of those, that’s no different from me drinking soda. I mean, I don’t drink soda generally, but it’s the same premise. And so I don’t even need the creamer. Now, that’s a beautiful story.
Mercedes: More power to you.
Telanna: You’ll be there someday.
Mercedes: You’ll be there someday.
Telanna: No, ma’am, but too, I like black coffee. You drink.
Mercedes: I drink creamer.
Telanna: Coffee with your creamer.
Mercedes: No, I mean drink creamer.
Telanna: You drink coffee with your creamer.
Mercedes: Ma’am, I drink creamer with a bite of coffee.
Telanna: Yeah.
Mercedes: Anyway, that’s the one thing on my myfitness pal that is like, ma’am. But that’s okay because my fitness pal will tell me when I’ve hit my allocated sugar for the day and I have not. It’s just my creamer. Maybe today with the krabby Patty. I’m not sure. We’ll see how it shakes out at the end of the day. But, yeah. Anyway, I think this is like a really good segue into the habit. So I was saying before, it kind of has been this really good reverse psychology into making better decisions. But I now feel like how many ever days it takes to create a habit. I’m on day eight, and my habit has really been to be very intentional about entering my calories so I can make better decisions and trying to integrate other things as I go through. So what are some of the things that you’ve done to create better habits around your health and wellness?
Telanna: Well, first I’ll say that a habit takes you as long to build it as it takes you. That whole 21 days is nonsense. Okay. If you wake up on day 22 and you don’t do it, and day 23, you starting all over again.
Mercedes: Well, we could talk about how the neurodivergent people don’t do well with habits. There’s no such thing as a habit.
Telanna: I’m just saying.
Mercedes: So I’m anti habits, but I’m trying to be okay for the neurotypicals out there who could do habits.
Telanna: Well, I don’t know if it’s. So I like habits. I don’t like routine.
Mercedes: Are you going to explain the difference between that? Because I feel like a habit is.
Telanna: Something that you choose to do and it’s part of your journey, right. It’s part of your growth journey. And whereas I feel like a routine is something that people get locked in. Like, you hear people say, oh, my gosh, I hate my morning routine, or I just need. And to me, that’s more stringent, right? To say, I’m going to get up and do the same thing all the time, every day. And so I prefer to create habits and not necessarily just have this routine that people use, if that makes sense.
Mercedes: So give me, like, a tangible. Because I feel like there’s so much overlap between the two. What’s a tangible wellness habit versus routine?
Telanna: Okay, so I think a routine would be saying, I’m going to get up and I’m going to go to the gym every morning at 05:00 a.m. Before I get KJ up for school.
Mercedes: Well, those people are called psychopaths, but.
Telanna: Okay, yeah, so that’s a routine I feel like they’ve put into their day. And so for me, I still want to have a healthy lifestyle and create a habit where I am getting that activity. But for me, saying I’m going to do it every day at 05:00 a.m. Is not saying that I want to have this habit that I do each and every day. Whatever that may look like is more empowering for me. So for me, that might mean, okay, I’m going to talk trash about you now, but it’s okay. You’re my child.
Mercedes: It’s okay. I’ll forgive you, probably.
Telanna: I got a message in Whatsapp today. Say, hey, let’s do supernatural.
Mercedes: Oh, my God. I was just trying to be accountable because you said you were starting on Monday.
Telanna: Don’t interrupt me.
Mercedes: I’m interrupting. I said I was off the bandwagon, but I was catching up.
Telanna: Girl, you asked for the example. Now let me give my example. So back up, right? So say, for instance, someone I won’t say who sends a message and says, hey, let’s do supernatural at 05:00 in the afternoon. And you say, okay, I’m going to wait till 05:00 in the afternoon to do it. Even though you really realize it’s Monday, Mondays are a low energy day for you. I think I want to do it at lunchtime. That way I get that little extra adrenaline. But you get that message and you’re like, I want to be accountable. I want to be in it with her.
Mercedes: I just wanted you to start strong.
Telanna: And then what happens at 05:00 comes and the person says, I need a nap.
Mercedes: That’s so rude.
Telanna: And I end up doing it at six. And so it’s still a habit that I’m a daily habit that I’m building, but I’m not so stringent to say, okay, I have to do it this time. Because I think a lot of times when people have these stringent routines, if they don’t do it at that time, they feel like they can’t do it at all. So if I don’t go to the gym at five, oh, I just can’t do it. I just messed up my whole day. And so that’s why I kind of don’t like to fall into that. And that’s possibly because that was me.
Mercedes: Routines are successful. The last thing I want to do is be like, you know what, every single day at 05:00 I’m going to do supernatural because then it won’t be something that I’m enjoying or, yeah, I’m not enjoying it anymore.
Telanna: Hey, if you want to keep track of your habit, I have a notion template for you. Okay.
Mercedes: Okay, girl. Okay, girl. Lincoln bio. Lincoln show notes.
Telanna: Yes, Lincoln show notes.
Mercedes: Yay, girl. For the low, low price.
Telanna: I don’t even remember the price. I think it’s $25.
Mercedes: Get you your habit tracker for $25.
Telanna: Well, it is more than a habit tracker. It is a life organizing. Hey, y’all. Telanna here. And I’m on a mission to challenge women of God to fall head over heels in love with pursuing God’s purpose and plan for their life. Purpose minded Woman is a faith brand with a blend of inspiration, practical advice, spiritual guidance, coaching tools and resources tailored to the unique challenges and opportunities faced by christian female professionals and entrepreneurs. Join me and other ambitious women of faith by subscribing to purposefully nourished, a weekly newsletter to pique your curiosity, build your faith, and pull you into taking inspired action towards your divine destiny. Join me@purposemindedwoman.com it’s just that, of course, habits are a big part of that.
Mercedes: Amen.
Telanna: But I was going to say, I think the most important thing with anything is just to really make sure that you’re doing the things that you enjoy, you’re not doing the things that other people say you should do, because that’s a big part of the success, not just in your health goals, but in all of your goals, that it’s something that you actually want to do and you know why you’re doing it.
Mercedes: I was going to say that that’s been one of the biggest things for why supernatural has been such a great thing for us, because we didn’t really say what supernatural was. We’ve just been name dropping supernatural. So KJ, my brother, your son, got an oculus and then eventually just converted all of us. Right? That’s how that worked. He got it first. Right. It was.
Telanna: That worked okay.
Mercedes: Because I was like, was it his that I tried? And so then I was like, well, I had been wanting one for a. So. Cause we know I like the technology. I want to play games. I got to get cute, cool stuff. So then I finally got it, which is a year and a half. Well, yeah, because we got it not last birthday, but the birthday before that. Anyway, so a year and a half of having one, and then Brandon got one. And then Brandon’s whole family got one. You stole KJ’s and then lost out on a deal of your lifetime, ended up getting the new one.
Telanna: Yeah, he got a good deal.
Mercedes: He got a good deal.
Telanna: I had to make it sweet for him, so I had to put in that option to buy. So he made some money, and he got to keep his oculus.
Mercedes: I mean, if that’s what makes you feel better as you review that story from your own lens, yeah, that’s fine. Fair.
Telanna: I believe in being fair.
Mercedes: You could have just gave him the money. Okay, sorry.
Telanna: We were doing better than yours.
Mercedes: I mean, it is, but my camera is better than yours. We all got priorities. So, yeah, I went there. Low blow. But anyway, so we started playing beat saber, and then that was kind of became an exciting way to kind of stay in shape or get active in the house. And so we’ve been doing. So that whole thing turned into playing supernatural. And they’re both kind of these virtual reality games where we have batons or we’re punching or we have sabers, and you’re kind of moving to hit targets. And supernatural is more like fitness related. So there’s like, squats and lunges and boxing and meditation. I haven’t done a yoga. Knee strikes. Yeah, that thing. And so anyways, it’s been a nice way to. Oh. And the best thing about it is it has lots of music. Like, all different types of music styles in there. So I’d be having some fun listening to little Wayne.
Telanna: I literally did the knot cracker today.
Mercedes: Who?
Telanna: Music from the knot cracker.
Mercedes: That’s interesting. But give me a little Wayne one. Give me a little Wayne or a paramore one.
Telanna: And I don’t do the nutcracker, honey, do the nutcracker.
Mercedes: Enjoy that. I don’t like Christmas as much as that.
Telanna: No, but you like that.
Mercedes: Everybody likes the nutcracker.
Telanna: You just imagine trying to.
Mercedes: Okay. Actually, I can see it. I can see it now. Thank you for doing the little. You can’t see it, but she made a little dinosaur arm.
Telanna: It was very. Because I was telling you, it only had two songs in it and it kicked my has, like, Lil Wayne has nothing on it. Okay.
Mercedes: Not even worse than that paramore one where you were like, I’m never doing the paramore one ever again.
Telanna: I don’t know. And I just did the queen one, too, which was pretty intense, too.
Mercedes: Anyway, we love us some supernatural.
Telanna: We do.
Mercedes: I’ve had my heart rate monitor from my Samsung watch on while doing a stairmaster at the gym. And my heart rate has been higher, like supernatural in the living room. So I feel like it’s a good exercise and I’m not about all of the gym grind and the self consciousness that comes through it. I tried personal training for a little bit. It was not it. So to circle back, find your joy, what’s going to help you? What do you like doing? I found that I really like snacking. I would like to eat seven meals of little tiny snacks. And I would also like to wave my hands in the living room like a crazy person to exercise. And it’s working for me. On day eight of 2024.
Telanna: Yes. Gosh.
Mercedes: Okay, so I think we’ve covered a lot. Is there anything that you feel like we haven’t covered yet? If not, I have a closing question for you.
Telanna: No, I think we covered everything. I mean, I think I would like to do, and especially if they want to hear more about the experience of going to an integrative doctor and what that.
Mercedes: Well, I want to because you didn’t tell us all the things. So. Yeah, it doesn’t matter what they want a lot.
Telanna: Just think about when you go to your doctor. They give you a one page summary or whatever. I left with like 15 or 20 pages.
Mercedes: That’s rough.
Telanna: Real eye opener. Yeah.
Mercedes: I have to muster the energy to go do that because blood work just terrorizes me. Yeah, all health care terrorizes me. Really? My gynecologist is going to get a nasty gram. No, I like her, so she’s not going to get a nasty gram. She’s going to get a polite, nasty gram because she was like, you can’t have your birth control, ma’am. And I said, ma’am, last time I was there, you told me that I’m not allowed to cry in your office and that I can have two years do it. I can’t handle these. Being in these people’s offices, telling me crazy stuff. Oh, my gosh. Did you see, I will circle back to my question, I promise, but did you see that stupid white doctor on TikTok? Hey there, it’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity chat with me during our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show notes, love. All right, let’s get back to the episode. I’m guessing, based on your face. No. So there’s this man, he gets on TikTok and he proceeds to say, ask this stupid question like, sir, you’re a doctor you went to through how many years of education to get on the Internet, ask a stupid question like that? He said, I want to know why. Whenever my black patient, white man, whenever my black patients come into the office, they’re always on the phone with somebody else, a family member or whoever. And he really posted that on the Internet, right? TikTok was ******. Well, black TikTok, obviously.
Telanna: No, I did not see that. Yeah, I’m black and I’m never on the phone allergic to my.
Mercedes: You okay, well, we’re going to have this conversation, okay. Because the comment was that people, you can’t trust your health care providers, especially when it comes to wellness health and being able to advocate for yourself in a health care setting. And so that’s why they’re on the phone.
Telanna: I don’t know if that’s on the phone. I’ve had my own issues with advocating for myself around having this cough that I had. And if that’s it, but why don’t you ask your patients?
Mercedes: Well, that’s what people said. But people said, like, you just got.
Telanna: On the Internet sign up and saying, but we live in this age where people just think they can put whatever they want on the Internet. So there you go.
Mercedes: Well, I’m glad. And then people were like, don’t cancel him. He’s a doctor. Like, you really got on the Internet to say some stupid stuff like this. And then we’re expecting. We were going to be like, oh, here’s why we do this. You should already know this answer, sir. But anyway, yeah, it was just wild. And I was like, the amount of times that I’ve had apple tell me something that somebody that went to school for how many years to be a doctor could not tell me is the reason why. I don’t care what you say to me. Just give me my prescription, sir, so I can go home.
Telanna: Yeah, I mean, it’s rough out there. I mean, my doctor basically told me I had lupus, and I was like, what?
Mercedes: I’m sorry. This is a man that we don’t. Well, whatever. This is the man.
Telanna: Yeah, but just because he’s not used to looking at test results for autoimmune diseases, that was his response when he saw a little bit. I mean, I did more information searching. That’s absolutely.
Mercedes: Did I know you said, did you show me? I’m sorry.
Telanna: No, I didn’t tell anybody. I told Kevin. And I’m like, I’m not telling anybody else because this is ridiculous, and we’re.
Mercedes: Already traumatized for other reasons. So it’s.
Telanna: But. And. And that just goes to show you why visiting an integrative doctor is so important. Because she opened my eyes to so many things that I wouldn’t have had a clue was going on in my body just by. Because it’s one of those things, right? Like, she’s trying to prevent things, so she’s proactive. My physician is reactive. So you got to be dying before they want to do something. And I’m not saying that’s all his fault. Right. That’s kind the type of medicine, the type of healthcare industry that we’ve created in America. I mean, there’s so many constraints on physicians about how much time they spend with a patient and all sorts of things. So I know that it’s not all of their fault, but it’s like, if you have the ability to do this on your own, I would absolutely say, do it. Yeah, I’m sorry.
Mercedes: I just realized that there are two spongeBob backpacks back there because I forgot about the other one because I love SpongeBob. You do?
Telanna: 50 year old woman that loves SpongeBob. And I’m not ashamed.
Mercedes: And crappy patties. I was, like, looking at them, I was like, oh, that’s another SpongeBob backpack. It’s okay because I enabled you for the second one.
Telanna: Yes.
Mercedes: Oh, I was last, I think last question about your integrated health, lady. So was she a woman of color, or do you feel like she was culturally competent in how she spoke and interacted with you?
Telanna: No, she was a white lady. She was great. And actually, I didn’t find out until after my second appointment, like, my follow up to go through my reports and stuff. I didn’t find out until after that that she was actually married to somebody black. But, no, she was great. I mean, my first appointment with her, we sat down for, like, an hour. She’s like, tell me everything that’s going on. When has a doctor ever said that to you? Right? I’m like, I just want to sit here forever with you.
Mercedes: Yeah.
Telanna: So, no, it was very nice. She was very understanding, of course, because when you’re doing that, you don’t necessarily have the words to explain everything that’s going on. So I’m like, I think this and I think this. Meanwhile, I don’t really know anything. Whereas when I went to my other doctor, not the man, but before that, she was like, well, why do you think you’re in perimenopause?
Mercedes: That’s a great question. That’s a great question.
Telanna: But I had told her some of the symptoms that I thought. I’m like, if you just want to ask me, lady, have I been on Google, just ask me that.
Mercedes: The answer is yes, because my doctor sucks.
Telanna: Yeah.
Mercedes: I mean, I love that because, I don’t know, it was one of the things that I was really committed to a couple of years ago when I was going through all of my anxiety and depression stuff. Well, it wasn’t a couple of years ago, but it happened before then. But it’s continued through each of the things of, yeah, I made sure. My dentist was a woman of color. I made sure that, well, my gynecologist wasn’t a woman of color, but she’s fabulous, so she can stay forever. She’s a lady, though. And then when I was trying to find a primary care doctor in my area, I made sure it was, like, in a facility that was actually owned by a black man. And then more recently, when I was going through all of my mental health challenges, the physician was a black woman. And so it’s been really nice to kind of be in these settings where it’s nice to feel kind of, like, safer in the conversation versus feeling like you might go into a facility where somebody’s going to ask you why you’re on the phone and why all their black patients are on the phone. So I love that. Yeah.
Telanna: And I agree with that. Comfort is important. I don’t know for me if I really care that the person is black or white or whatever. It’s important to me that I’m heard. I’m happy with her. So I’m still keeping my primary care physician, and I’ll see her probably every six months or so.
Mercedes: Yeah, like, well, round.
Telanna: And then, of course, now I have a rheumatoid physician that I literally cannot get in to see until March. So there you go.
Mercedes: Well, that was rough. That story was a little rough. Well, I’m glad they’re still your physician after that.
Telanna: Because I did have a black female physician, and we loved her. And then one day she was gone, and I honestly think she was gone because she spent too much time with her patients and she ordered tests that I had never had before. And so I really think that’s why she couldn’t fit in the mold of what the healthcare system needed. So I’m steady looking for her.
Mercedes: I will find her one day. We go find you, girl. I’m not going to say her name. We’re going to find her.
Telanna: I have her MPI, so I can find her. Yes. Whenever she goes somewhere else, Miss Billing.
Mercedes: Claims reimbursement lady, I’m gonna find you.
Telanna: Now let’s wrap up this podcast, girl, because somebody has to go to Walmart to pick up their groceries because I forgot to order from Kroger and I actually have to go to a Walmart. Somebody pray for me.
Mercedes: That is so sad. I am so sorry for you.
Telanna: But not going in, I’m just going for, you know, I didn’t even like to be in the parking lot.
Mercedes: Well, I have a fiance that just says, send me your grocery order. He was all excited because he got some good job updates today, and he was like, what you want, baby? I got you. Get me all the fruit. Yeah, I’ll tell you later.
Telanna: I got to get that just from Publix.
Mercedes: Oh, the fruit. Oh, but I was getting smoothie stuff because I’m doing. Where’s that?
Telanna: Well, that’s different.
Mercedes: Yeah, well, I mean, it was some fruit, but I am doing your little girl. This book comes up every once in a while. Ten day green smoothie cleanse. I’m not doing a ten day cleanse. But I do like their smoothies.
Telanna: No, but some of those smoothies in there are real good.
Mercedes: Good.
Telanna: They’re. I have to pay attention to my sugar intake this whole time.
Mercedes: I did not know this was a black woman in the back. Okay, JJ Smith will be linked in the show notes. We’re a mess. Okay, so I know you got to go, and I also have a call because we do in business and life and health and all these things. So my closing question to you was going to be, if you had to tell yourself something 20 years ago, or. Well, you’re getting old. Maybe 25 years ago about anyway. If you had to tell 25 year old Telanna something that would change her life about health and wellness, what would you tell her?
Telanna: That you can be healthy outside of your trauma. I feel like every time, whenever I look back at things that I’ve changed in my life in regards to my health, it was always attached to me, trying to ignore something that I had gone through. So whether it was a breakup or whether it was just another outlet when I look back, other than being pregnant, those are the times when I had lost weight. Right. So after a breakup, pouring yourself into the gym, and I don’t necessarily know if that was because I wanted to prove a point, because I’ve never really had this strong body image. Like, my body has to look this way. But I think that’s not just for the weight loss, but for just so much different stuff. Like, you don’t have to go through trauma in order to really have and create the life that you want. You can do that now. And so I think that’s a big part of it for me, understanding that I can have what I want whenever I want it. And for me, that’s just now and really understanding that why behind it. Because a lot of times, that why is not really the why. It’s fabricated. Why is an illusion. So that’s why you don’t stick to it. Right. So the really why now is because I’m not trying to die or have my body in pain, and that’s the truth of it. And sometimes you need to give yourself that wake up call, the reality of it, and stop sugar coating it and saying, well, I want to fit in a size two or I want this. No. What is the why? The why is if you don’t correct something in your life, Telanna, you will die. That’s a cloth you have to have with yourself.
Mercedes: I’m having flashbacks about Mr. What’s his name from 600 pound life. What’s his name?
Telanna: Oh, my gosh.
Mercedes: You are going to die. I don’t know. It’s true. He’s not wrong. He’s very terrifying. What’s his name?
Telanna: I mean, if you would have asked me, and this is the last thing I would say, if you would have told me that I could go a month without french fries, girl, preach.
Mercedes: That’s the testimony right there. This is the lead into the episode. A month without french fries. You have been delivered.
Telanna: Yes. Come on now.
Mercedes: Come on now.
Telanna: Amen.
Mercedes: Reach.
Telanna: God’s going to have some potatoes for me in heaven.
Mercedes: Yes, ma’am, every day. Well, yeah, maybe once in a while you can have some french fries.
Telanna: But I will say, last week, last week, that is the absolute thing. I asked the integrative doctor. I’m like, look, lady, I don’t care what’s in these 23 pages. All I need to know is, can I still have coffee? If I cannot have coffee, just throw my whole body away.
Mercedes: I would just go to early grave because that is hilarious. I love it for you. Well, I love that feedback. I think that is a good nugget to leave off of. You can have your coffee and french fries and you don’t have to live by your trauma. I love that. So thank you all for joining us for this very special chasing wellness podcast episode. We are definitely going to do a follow up about holistic wellness, whether you all ask for it or not. So there we go. So until next time, we wish you so much success with you chasing your biggest goals. And we’ll see you for our next episode. Bye bye.
Telanna: Bye.
Mercedes: They can’t see you do that. They only get the audio. They can see me. Okay, great. I’m glad that they can. All right, bye, all.
Telanna: They may want to.
Mercedes: No, they don’t. Absolutely not. In the closet.

The post Episode 7: Chasing Holistic Wellness appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

Is money really the root of all evil? Should we be ashamed of wanting to live a life of luxury when so much is wrong with the world?

In this episode of the Chasing 100 Club Podcast, Mama Telanna and Mercedes unpack how we’re chasing luxury every day be that lux experiences, lux purchases, or future desires. Join us as we share our personal money mindset stories, our journey of embracing financial abundance in our lives, and what we’re chasing for our next level of luxury.

We’re also sharing strategies and tips that you can use to shift your money mindset and manifest your own version of a luxury lifestyle!

And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us your thoughts, review, or note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

WATCH OUR TURKS AND CAICOS TRIP RECAP: https://youtu.be/yWpuN2klPZU?si=EJvrObr3ahET3QO9

Explore Coaching with your Hosts

LINKS AND RESOURCES

⁠⁠ ⁠Chasing 100 Club Shop: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach⁠
We Should All Be Millionnaires by Rachel Rodgers: ⁠https://amzn.to/3Un7v4R⁠
Hello Seven with Rachel Rodgers: ⁠https://helloseven.co/⁠
Money Bootcamp with Denise Duffield-Thomas: ⁠https://www.denisedt.com/

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

Engage with the Podcast

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Support the Chasing 100 Club Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club

Chasing Luxury Transcription

[00:00] Mercedes: Okay, I’m ready. So long.
[00:04] Telanna: We’re back, baby. What is wrong with you? What is right with me?
[00:10] Mercedes: What is wrong with you? Are you ready?
[00:13] Telanna: What I want for my birthday.
[00:15] Mercedes: You do know or you don’t know?
[00:17] Telanna: I don’t.
[00:18] Mercedes: You never know what you want for your birthday, and I’ve given up on that endeavor.
[00:23] Telanna: So else something luxurious.
[00:27] Mercedes: You want something luxurious? Is that what she said?
[00:33] Telanna: Machine is $900.
[00:35] Mercedes: That’s luxurious for sure.
[00:37] Telanna: The two silhouette machines together are 900.
[00:41] Mercedes: Oh, you wanted those?
[00:42] Telanna: I don’t know. I’m leaning towards my coffee machine anyway.
[00:46] Mercedes: Okay, are you ready?
[00:48] Telanna: But that is luxury. A $900 coffee machine?
[00:52] Mercedes: It is luxury. I hope you bring that up once we officially start. Are you ready?
[00:58] Telanna: I am ready.
[01:00] Mercedes: All right. Well, hey, y’all. Hey. It has been a little minute since y’all heard from us at the Chasing 100 podcast. And if you don’t know me, it’s Mercedes and it’s Mama Talana. Yay. You got your cue, girl. Okay, I know because we was getting a little rusty there.
[01:27] Telanna: It’s been a while.
[01:29] Mercedes: Yeah, it has been a while. So we are welcoming you back to the Chasing 100 podcast. It’s your favorite mother-daughter duo, and we are chasing our biggest 100 goals. And today, what are we talking about?
[01:42] Telanna: Luxury.
[01:43] Telanna: Chasing luxury.
[01:45] Mercedes: So, I figure we could talk about a little bit about our recent trip to the Turks and Caicos Islands. Okay. Because I know how to say it now, since we gone, and I figured we could kind of launch that as our entryway into this podcast for living a life of luxury. So, do you want to take it away?
[02:05] Telanna: Well, definitely the Turks and Caicos. With a capital T-H-B. Because that’s the most expensive place I’ve ever been in my life.
[02:15] Mercedes: Preach. We left a bag. Several bags.
[02:19] Telanna: And that’s a lot coming from Bermuda, definitely. You hear people say tux and Caicos is expensive, but you just play it off, right?
[02:33] Mercedes: Yeah. Because you’re like, well, any travel is expensive, obviously.
[02:37] Telanna: Exactly.
[02:38] Mercedes: It was not that.
[02:39] Telanna: No, it definitely was not that. But I will say, even though it was expensive, it’s definitely worth the trip.
[02:51] Mercedes: Preach. Okay, so I think I would consider this one of the nicest, most luxurious trips that I think I’ve been on. I don’t know if you feel the same, Mommy, but it was really just this moment of feeling like, wow, I have made it so far from where I was, like, a year or two ago. To feel like this trip was a plausible, reasonable trip where we could do fancy stuff like get a private chef, a private charter. Okay. Rent a whole beautiful villa, have beach access. Okay, we did that. So I think that was one of the biggest things of feeling like, wow, I’m coming into this moment where this life of luxury, I’m getting snippets and pieces of it, and it’s feeling like it’s going to become part of my lifestyle. So I would say that was a really great introduction to. I mean, yes, we have been chasing luxury in other places, but I would say this was a really big one where I could kind of feel like I was embedded in that, like, living my best luxurious life.
[03:58] Telanna: Oh, yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, I think in terms of trips that we’ve been on, I feel like even when I look at our trip to Italy or our trip to think, you know, those were just like, they were great trips, but they had a different just. I can’t even explain the vibe that I want to say because I felt like a tourist, but I felt like a different type of tourist than being a tourist in Alaska or Italy or somewhere. So there is definitely something to be said from doing those things that you talked about, like the private chef and the charter and even the private transportation, things like that. It’s so much to be said about that. It makes a big difference in what you’re experiencing when you’re on vacation.
[04:58] Mercedes: Yes, I think it was kind of freeing because I legitimately think that was, like, the first trip that I’ve gone on that I wasn’t really worried about it. I don’t mean worried about it. I mean worried about the expenses. It didn’t feel like I was bawling on a budget. It felt like I was legitimately bawling.
[05:18] Telanna: Well, girl, that’s because it was just two of you.
[05:22] Mercedes: Okay. No, I don’t want to think that that’s why I’m keeping my womb to myself.
[05:29] Telanna: But, of course, it’s four of us, and it still didn’t feel bad. I think mostly because as a family, we’re foodies, and so we’re used to spending a lot of money on just good meals. And a big portion of that trip, the food was meals and then tacking on an additional 12% to that, so it wasn’t out of pocket.
[06:01] Mercedes: So I think coming out of that trip, I will say that I was definitely dealing with what we call upper limiting things from not only having last month one of the best business months or months in my business, which absolutely funded my extravagancies in Turks and Caicos. But I will also say one of these moments where I was like, oh, wow, I’m living what my dreams are. And so I would say there were a ton of things that I felt like were limiting beliefs that came up for me. Kind of like feeling like an imposter, feeling like these kind of experiences overall are unattainable to me. Also, those triggers that come up when you’re thinking about, like, okay, being rich is immoral, and we see all of the things that we have going on in the world from economics, inflation, Oprah out here doing crazy stuff, asking people to donate, and she didn’t. Also, I’m not Oprah, though. Okay, I’m not Oprah, but just kind of like all of these thoughts about what does it mean to live in luxury and really feeling like you can, given how much is going on in the world and given how much we really have to kind of work for a dollar in today’s economy.
[07:28] Telanna: Yeah, I mean, I can absolutely see how that might come up for you. I think for me, I didn’t really experience it that much because I’m older than you.
[07:39] Mercedes: Oh, really now? Oh, really now? How old, girl?
[07:44] Telanna: How older? Not wiser necessarily, but.
[07:52] Mercedes: I was waiting for you to talk about your birthday, girl. Come on. Come on.
[07:58] Telanna: No, you don’t go there.
[08:01] Mercedes: Okay, all right.
[08:05] Telanna: Stop making me lose my train of thought. I’m just joking. Anyway, so I feel like I’ve experienced those things already because I’m older than you, because I remember when you used to be little and you would be like, okay, you don’t have to buy your clothes at Walmart.
[08:28] Mercedes: Wait, what?
[08:30] Telanna: But it was just ingrained in me kind of, to do that because it’s this journey that you go through of all your different money stories. And of course, then that day came when I was like, you know what? I don’t even like their clothes. Although they’ve changed now, right? A lot. But I don’t go in Walmart for other reasons. But I think I didn’t think about that as much. I remember, especially your dad when we were dating. He has always had this thing with luxury. And so when we were dating, he used to take me to drive through these rich neighborhoods, and he used to take us to these five star hotels to walk around. And there was always this big level of discomfort for me, like thinking somebody was going to walk up behind you and just tell you that you don’t belong here and basically to get out. And so I didn’t feel that at all in Turks. I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, doing exactly what I needed to do and just being present and enjoying it. And I honestly wasn’t thinking about what someone didn’t have. I wasn’t thinking about everything that is going on in the country with money. I was just in a place to just be and relax and enjoy it because I feel like that’s what God wants for me too.
[10:20] Mercedes: Period, period, period. So I think for me, it was kind of like when you talk about creating your ideal life or your best life, it’s kind of like this journey of like, I’m where I am now and I’m where my dream life should be or I want it to be. And you can kind of feel yourself, like, I don’t know, is it like teleporting between the two energies? Some Sci-Fi stuff. We always end up talking about Sci-Fi stuff where some of it definitely, I could say for sure I didn’t think about anything else but living my best life while I was on that charter. But I do feel like some of the times when I was walking around or like restaurants or things like that, I was kind of having this moment, like, does this feel comfortable to me? And I think in a lot of ways it didn’t. So I appreciate you sharing, like, you know what, I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve worked on money mindset stuff, and here we are. And that kind of higher self aspect of who is a person that lives that life of luxury and how do you become her?
[11:35] Telanna: Yeah, exactly. And we had this conversation before about the fact that luxury is personal and what it means to me is something completely different than it is to you. And how it shows up for me is different from how it shows up for you. But I do want to ask you a question about what you said about feeling that you may not necessarily belong there or not really understanding the impact of what’s going on in the world and having to reconcile you being in this beautiful country, expensive, and then people in the US getting laid off and other types of economic things that are going here. How were you able to process know.
[12:34] Mercedes: I really think I’m still processing, like, to be honest. So the first thing about kind of. I think the part that felt unsettling is that I really felt like, again, like I said, this is one of the first times that I could really feel like I was in that dream. And when you were talking about the luxury part, luxury travel and how we define luxury is that goal for me. Right. Like, I want to be all over the place, on a plane, on a private jet, I don’t know. In a private car, whatever. I want to live a luxurious travel lifestyle. That is my goal in life personally. Right? And so I see these things as one, like, oh, man, okay, I traveled here, had all these private, luxurious experiences, but I also see in my head what that could potentially be like when I talk about, okay, I didn’t take a private jet there. I’m not there yet. And it’s a thought of, like, why isn’t it good enough for me to embrace and enjoy the level of luxury that I can live in in that point, at this point in life? And I think that’s one of the things that I was battling with of, like, why am I discounting where I currently am? Because it doesn’t look like this other standard that I have. And Also, am I kind of fronting in the level of luxury that I’m at right now? Because thinking about it holistically, this wouldn’t be sustainable every day of my life, which is also part of that goal. Right. It felt a little bit like imposter because I’m living my best life, Balin. But I feel like that right now with where I am, that’s actually not a sustainable piece. And when I think about the economic challenges, the future layoffs, and also just that people from an economic and basic need standpoint are suffering. And it’s all those things in my head all at the same time. So I just brought up Oprah to joke. But I also told you that I have a $31,000 Birkin in my Amazon cart as a joke, too. There’s levels to this. There’s a lot.
[14:54] Telanna: Definitely a $31,000 purse. I’m not mad at you.
[14:58] Mercedes: It makes me happy. Every time I look into Amazon, I’m like, you know what? One day, I’m going to click that button that Birkin is going to be.
[15:04] Telanna: Apparently have a watch on my wish list that is probably three times the amount of that purse.
[15:12] Mercedes: Okay, there it is.
[15:14] Telanna: I’m definitely not mad at you.
[15:18] Mercedes: And it’s really funny because I’m not even, like, a designer bag like person. I just love how those look. It’s wild, right? It’s okay.
[15:27] Telanna: No, and that’s why I’m saying how luxury is personal. I think a lot of times we get caught up in what it should look like is because what we’re looking at and basing it on are celebrities and not realizing that we can have a luxurious life, but we can also do what we’re called to do and still have impact. I think so much about what we learned about money is just rooted in old, wise tales and I guess biblical understanding, too, that money is the root of all evil. And I know for me, I’ve had to really unpack that, because I feel like if anything that we see in this time in society is that money makes a difference. Money has impact. Money speaks. Money allows you to do things that you would not be able to do to help people that you would not normally be able to help without that. And I think that is just such an important part of it. And I also think it’s what gives you the balance that you’re not just out here wilding out, paying for $30,000 purses, yet just joking and ignoring the things that you see, ignoring the opportunity to have that social impact. I definitely don’t think that that’s what you’re doing. And I think it’s easier to reconcile the two things when you know that you’re still doing the things that you feel called to do.
[17:23] Mercedes: Yeah, I guess when I think about it, I feel like even though that same concept is not about money, but every time I have this kind of conversation about the impact of work and, yes, the way that money can help you do that work, I always think about, there are starving children in Africa. Like, every time.
[17:54] Telanna: Oh, you think about it? I saw that my whole life. I saw my, whoa, why’d you pass.
[17:59] Mercedes: It on to me?
[18:00] Telanna: Infomercial with the little boy from Ethiopia with the big belly out. And, yes, that is, like, one of the most difficult things to see that. To think that other people on the other side of the world could be living like that. And here we are in the States with so much abundance.
[18:21] Mercedes: Well, I don’t even think that anymore, because those starving children are down the street, how I feel about that anymore. But anyway, so I’m saying, sometimes I think about it, it’s like, oh, my gosh, we paid $11,000 for this fella girl. How many people could I fee with?
[18:39] Telanna: Eleven.
[18:39] Mercedes: So I feel like that’s what you have or that’s what I think. But I also think it is very true. I think one of the most impactful comments that really helped me to address those money mindset challenges is while we were in the club with Rachel Rogers. Right. I said the club. One of the most powerful things that I was watching was just understanding there’s nothing more powerful than people of color and specifically black women, and our economic impact on the communities around us than when we are financially. Yeah, we’re coming from a place of financial abundance and how it impacts those around us. So I have to think about the idea that when we thrive, those things overflow and we can choose to use our money in the way that we want to see it impact the communities or the goals, missions, whatever that are important to us. So it is helpful, but it is still something that I constantly balance or kind of think about in my head when I’m looking at luxury. Right?
[19:51] Telanna: Yeah, I remember Rachel. I wish I had the statistic in front of me, but she always shares a statistic about how. I know you mentioned black women, but women in general take more of their money to have social impact. It was a really high percentage. And I wish I had the quote, but I don’t. But she shares that, that men don’t take their money to have impact in a lot of places, but women are doing it. And I feel like if you’re having the impact that you want to have, you should also be able to enjoy that fruit for yourself as well. I don’t think there’s anywhere in the Bible that I can remember. I mean, just speaking from me, I know everyone doesn’t identify as a Christian, but just speaking for me, I feel like there is nowhere in there that says that I have to be poor or I’m supposed to be poor. God said to multiply and have dominion, right? So that means multiplying in every area of my life. And if I’m able to multiply, I’m able to do that for other people too. I think the interesting part of it though is this statistics that you found online when we were doing some research.
[21:23] Mercedes: Ridiculous.
[21:26] Telanna: Fueling the luxury retail sales.
[21:29] Mercedes: It’s wild.
[21:30] Telanna: I’m going to let you share that.
[21:32] Mercedes: You’re going to let me share it? Girl, shut up. Okay.
[21:36] Telanna: Going into this conversation, they’re almost out of that bracket.
[21:49] Mercedes: Hey there, it’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me during our call. We’ll dive deep into your career goals and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career? It can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show.
[22:39] Mercedes: Notes love.
[22:40] Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.
[22:54] Mercedes: It I can’t close. Brandon’s been messing with me. So you’re going to call out my age, but I can’t call out your age.
[23:04] Telanna: Of course you can call out my age. I have no shame over my age.
[23:07] Mercedes: All right, well, I think one of the things going into this, too, is that we did, like, for laughs and giggles. No, just kidding. We did go look up the definition of luxury because we were kind of looking at like, okay, what does luxury actually mean? Because we feel like it was kind of misconstrued of how people define that and that it does have a personal take on this. But luxury as a definition says a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort. The other one says something’s addition to pleasure or comfort. Okay. And then an indulgence of something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease, which I think these three definitions are kind of interesting when you take the following fact that says nearly half of all come.
[23:58] Telanna: Through soft life people.
[24:00] Mercedes: Okay, the soft life people have arrived. But anyway, soft life. Nearly half of all young adults, 48% between ages 18 to 29, reside at home with their parents, and their savings are fueling luxury retail sales, according to a report. Blah, blah, blah, US Census Bureau. And then the other one that said Americans with an income of less than 50,000 make up 27% of regular luxury.
[24:33] Telanna: Consumers, which is wild to me.
[24:35] Mercedes: That’s wild to me.
[24:37] Telanna: I mean, both of them. I mean, I got to say, though, I’ve never been just like you. I’ve never been a purse person or shoe person. I like a purse.
[24:49] Mercedes: Shout out To Vera Bradley, girlies.
[24:53] Telanna: But I mean, at the same time, it’s like, I like a purse. I buy the purse, I use the purse. I don’t need 16 luxury purses. And not only do I not need them, I don’t want them. So I can see how the definition that you gave, it makes sense for me. Right? I’m looking for things to offer me comfort, like a great coffee machine. That’s comfort, right?
[25:28] Mercedes: Are we posting this before your birthday? What? Are we posting this before your birthday? Put everybody on notice. Come on, Mommy, tell us what birthday we’re celebrating.
[25:43] Telanna: We are celebrating 50.
[25:49] Mercedes: And hopefully going into another luxury experience, right?
[25:53] Telanna: Yes. We’re going to spend some time in the keys. Because luxury to me is also being with my family in an environment that we can enjoy. And so I’m just looking to just be in chill mode, which is lovely for me. Another villa to rent.
[26:17] Mercedes: I know, girl. I was like, no, I’m just kidding. When we talk about repetition, I’m just proving it to myself, creating the evidence for my own mindset.
[26:28] Telanna: Exactly. Maybe I’ll even get to take that $900 coffee machine with me.
[26:35] Mercedes: Oh, my goodness. You’re wild.
[26:37] Telanna: I’ve been already told no, but you know how that goes. Yeah, but I think this is so wild. As someone who has a 19 year old and a 29 year old, and if you were living.
[26:50] Mercedes: 29 year old is on the call.
[26:55] Telanna: I know, but I’m just saying, if you were living in my house and then you’re using your savings to fuel luxury retail sales, it’s a no for me.
[27:06] Mercedes: Okay, but let’s be honest here. You’re 18. Wait, is turning 18 or 19? I’m sorry, it’s 19. Your 19 year old is part of that group.
[27:17] Telanna: Yes, but she is not living at home using her savings. I might be fueling some of those luxury purchases for her.
[27:30] Mercedes: I mean, okay, I feel like you consistently stay in denial about your middle child, but that’s okay.
[27:43] Telanna: Jesus, take the.
[27:46] Mercedes: Out there. I’m just saying, it’s not like she got it, honestly. But it’s okay. But, yeah, I feel like she fits in that category. It’s okay. It’s all right. No more about it. I agree.
[27:59] Telanna: She does fit in that category. The difference with me is whether or not these kids are using their money for luxury things. Are they also using their money for life, or are they literally just at home, not paying any bills at home, not doing anything at home, and just spending their money on luxury things? Because that, to me, is wild. But I also know a lot more younger. I don’t want to call them kids, but young adults are traveling, like, big time.
[28:41] Mercedes: Well, this says specifically luxury retail sales.
[28:46] Telanna: Yeah, I know that says that, but I’m just saying in general, too, I think this age bracket is traveling a lot, too. I don’t know how luxurious it is, but I remember growing up, for me, it just used to be luxurious just to get on a plane once a year, much less multiple times a year.
[29:06] Mercedes: That’s true.
[29:07] Telanna: It’s okay.
[29:08] Mercedes: I broke you all right into it very easily.
[29:11] Telanna: Just kidding. Come on.
[29:14] Mercedes: In Italy? Yeah, I guess. But in a way, if they are contributing to maybe whatever their parents expect them to contribute to, they have a job they’re paying their bills or whatever they need to pay for. Are we then demonizing how they choose to use their discretionary income? No.
[29:39] Telanna: And that’s what exactly I’m saying that I don’t know much this goes into that because this says they’re savings.
[29:48] Mercedes: I mean, I think they’re assuming that that’s where it’s coming from. They’re saving money in itself. I feel like it’s kind of like a purposely polarizing of, like, they’re using the savings from staying at home with their parents on these luxury sales, which is like, they’re using the money that they would have spent on rent had they not been able to live. Hopefully they have savings.
[30:12] Telanna: Yeah, I don’t see any problem with that. If, yes, they are doing the things that they’re supposed to be doing as an adult, because that’s what you are, young adults.
[30:25] Mercedes: I’m becoming an old adult very quickly.
[30:29] Telanna: What is the bracket? Is 29 the cut off for that? Are you officially old at 30?
[30:36] Mercedes: I don’t know.
[30:37] Telanna: I feel old.
[30:39] Mercedes: I feel kind of old. Yeah.
[30:41] Telanna: Your siblings think you’re old.
[30:43] Mercedes: Yeah. I feel like their dialogue around my oldness doesn’t help. And I also feel like I was just bored as an old soul. So I have lots of things fighting.
[31:01] Telanna: Against me and my ability to feel youthful. So in terms of luxury, what’s next on your list?
[31:10] Mercedes: What’s next on my list? I literally have what poor Brandon would call, like, tunnel vision. I know you already know what I’m going to say to an RV. Being able to afford a fully nomadic travel in an RV lifestyle is the dream for me right now. And we need to do, like, an RV trial run. So not next weekend because I’m coming home next weekend, but the weekend after that, I’m supposed to be going to RV show. And then we want to do, like, a trial run and rent a fifth wheel or maybe like something smaller. So two things. Either do a fifth wheel that’s stationary so we can get a sense of the space and then do a smaller vehicle that we won’t kill ourselves or others. Traveling a couple of places, like maybe up the state of Florida or something to get a sense of how does that up and go lifestyle kind of feel. But I have straight up tunnel vision to my dream of owning an RV and traveling across the United States for the next couple of years. Yeah. What’s your next luxury goal? I think you talked about some of them, but.
[32:32] Telanna: You know, other than right now, the coffee machine of my dream, every time I get a new coffee machine. It’s another level.
[32:49] Mercedes: Yeah, we’re aware.
[32:51] Telanna: Yes. I don’t know what comes after the $900 ones, but I’m at the $900 ones right now and that gives me a great joy. And I think really, other than that, my next big thing is probably going to be our trip to Hong Kong.
[33:11] Mercedes: And.
[33:14] Telanna: On my life list is also the Orient Express. So those are probably two of the luxury. And I could probably even do it up even a little bit more if I didn’t take my kids with me.
[33:35] Mercedes: Good try. Good try. You will literally have to plan it in secret. Okay. You will have to get the FBI, the CIA, whoever else. Okay, Doctor who to help you plan that in secret because. No. Good luck with that.
[34:01] Telanna: What, we’re just going to be out, send you a postcard and let you know we’re there?
[34:08] Mercedes: No, ma’am.
[34:09] Telanna: Yeah. Would definitely be luxury because I want to do first class for those flights and I just want it to be a great experience and a nice. Because our plan is to, of course, take a cruise out of Hong Kong, but we’ll save that for another time.
[34:32] Mercedes: Oh, my God. I don’t think so. I feel like that is very luxurious.
[34:35] Telanna: I think we got to.
[34:40] Mercedes: It’s a no for me, dog.
[34:49] Telanna: Hey, y’all. Mama Talana here.
[34:51] Telanna: Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it. Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose minded woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back.
[35:21] Telanna: Okay.
[35:22] Telanna: To help you get started, I created a free resource, six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps.
[35:47] Telanna: You can take to take action and.
[35:50] Telanna: Control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindawoman.com.
[36:14] Mercedes: Say, oh, my gosh. So I kind of have looked at this of like, okay, our concept is this idea of chasing luxury or chasing our goal, right? But in this case, we talked about how we’ve been chasing luxury. And of course, we’ve been intentional about creating those experiences and defining for ourselves what that luxury looks like. Like you just asked. So I guess my question to you is if you have people who are out there that are struggling in the same way that we are, and we, of course, have benefited from many professional development experiences, however you want to business, otherwise, mentors, mothers who are certified career coaches, however you want to look at it or not. Career coaches. Life coaches. So if you saw a woman who was really trying to get into living a more luxurious lifestyle, what would your advice be? That was a really long winded question, but we’re here two years later.
[37:25] Telanna: Need to take an intermission.
[37:28] Mercedes: Sorry.
[37:30] Telanna: I would really tell her the same thing, that I actually start with my coaching clients. The first thing that I do with them is just have them sit down and write out all of their desires, because I think a lot of times we have these desires, but we haven’t accepted them yet. But they’re actually what we want. But we’re so stuck in worrying about judgment from other people, judgment about spending that much money on something luxurious. I mean, I told you recently that I had joined a Black girls luxury group on Facebook, and of course, I’m not going to last there long. Actually, I’m on my way out. However, I joined it because I was looking for something special for my bestie since she turned 56 days after me. And the running narrative in that group is that these people post in that group because they feel like they can’t post on Facebook or they feel like they can’t share their excitement about their desires and their accomplishments with their family because of exactly what you said, judgment, and because other people in their family may not be doing as well as they are. And so it’s just this big narrative already around taking ownership for what you want and being okay with it. So that’s definitely the first thing that I would do. And then the second thing I would say is, look at your money stories. Look at your thoughts around money and how you grew up with it. We shared a little bit about that and how I grew up with people telling me money was the root of evil, or money doesn’t grow on trees and all these different things that were told about money. Look at those money stories, and how are they making you decide what you’re going to do with your money? I will say one of the money courses that I took was Denise Duttlefield. OR is it Thomas Dutterfield? I don’t know. Denise Dutterfield’s course about money and it was excellent because it helps you to understand where those money stories came from and to really understand that you’re able to have the impact that you want to. So that would be definitely the second thing that I would say that someone should do, and they have planned for it. You know what I mean? Not everything has to happen overnight. And stop looking at other people, celebrities, to define what luxury means to you. I’ve shared this with Mercedes, with you before, how luxury to some person is a Rolex. And when I look at a Rolex, I’m like, oh, that’s trash. Somebody go buy me a Patek Philippe. Because a Patek Philippe is a real watch, and a Rolex is trash.
[41:13] Mercedes: Oh, my. I’m Mommy. You said Paddock wrong.
[41:17] Telanna: I know, but it’s my accent. It’s how I’ve said it my whole life.
[41:24] Mercedes: No, it’s a joke, Mommy. I’m saying it wrong.
[41:26] Telanna: No, remember that guy? He said it wrong. Lord have mercy.
[41:31] Mercedes: Didn’t he say Paddock? Paddock on my wrist?
[41:33] Telanna: No, I think he said something worse than that.
[41:37] Mercedes: I feel like that’s what he said. We’ll have to go look at the correct way to pronounce it later.
[41:44] Telanna: Well, that’s the way I’ve always pronounced it my whole life.
[41:48] Mercedes: No, I think it’s a Patek Philippe, right? Yeah.
[41:52] Telanna: I don’t know how to. Anybody else would sound weird to me.
[41:57] Mercedes: No, it’s okay. I made a joke, and you didn’t get the joke, and now the joke is ruined. So.
[42:02] Telanna: It was a terrible joke.
[42:04] Mercedes: It was hilarious. I hope that somebody listening laughed at my joke.
[42:09] Telanna: The terrible joke for you.
[42:12] Mercedes: I’m going to have a Netflix comedy.
[42:13] Telanna: Special like your run on stories. But anyway, yeah. And so know, figure out what that looks like. For know, stop thinking that you have to have a million dollars to do this, or you have to wait until you have a million dollars to go on an amazing vacation, or you don’t have to. There’s probably somebody out there telling you that you have to, but you can do whatever you want to now at whatever you want to. There is luxury in every level of someone’s life. Someone a luxury may be getting a Starbucks once a week. I remember a time in my life when paying $12 for coffee was a luxury. So just remember that it’s whatever it is for you.
[43:11] Mercedes: I just had to say that there was a time in life when going to McDonald’s to get some McDoubles was a luxury for us.
[43:20] Telanna: Yeah.
[43:21] Mercedes: Every day.
[43:25] Telanna: McDonald’s is a luxury now.
[43:27] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. Anyway, so a couple of days, well, like a week ago, Brandon and I went into the liquor store, because out here we got that drive through liquor store.
[43:43] Telanna: Okay, you live in the country when your liquor stores drive through, but go.
[43:47] Mercedes: Ahead, that’s a luxury. Okay, you got to get out of the car. He says, what do you need? I’ll bring it to the window for you. But anyway, so I was in there, and so they had, Mommy, oh, my gosh. I’ll probably get some when I come home.
[44:03] Telanna: Should I probably do that?
[44:04] Mercedes: Anyway, so they had like six different types of stellarosa in there. They had like a peach honey. Is it peach Honey or Honey pear? They had the Moscato one in there, which I can’t find in Windix anymore. And they had like, blueberry, a cherry. And anyway, so they basically had way more flavors than I was used to. And so I got all said. I said, oh, well, tell me what I owe you, because I picked up three bottles. He was like, oh, you could just get the McDonald’s. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, not you being right that the three bottles of wine is comparable to getting McDonald’s now.
[44:44] Telanna: Hey.
[44:45] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. You could tell me that you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but what is one of your money mindset or your money stories and how did you overcome that story?
[45:04] Telanna: I would say two. So the first one, as a faith based coach, I feel like that was a big money story for me, even in charging for coaching, was that I shouldn’t be able to do that because God gave me these gifts to help other people and contribute to society as a whole. So that was definitely a money story that I had. And how I came over that was just realizing that people don’t do things for free. They won’t do the work. So I’ve coached plenty of people for free in and out of ministry, and if there’s no skin in it, guess what? They’re not going to do it. So that one was pretty easy to come over. And I think one of the other big money stories that I really had was just that I was bad with money. I just think growing up and never having those conversations about money and how to make it work for you led to a lot of money trauma in my life. I would say lights turned off or having a car repoed or having had a garnishment, things like that. And so I think understanding that I’m not my stories and my past is not my future, and that with wisdom and knowledge, you can basically overcome anything. I think the big thing is not ignoring your money stories and not ignoring your money because a lot of times when we feel like we get into these situations with our money, we shut down and we don’t look at our money and it makes it worse. And so I think that’s a big part as well, that Denise teaches in her program and also Rachel, too, and we should all be millionaires, too, is really taking that time to look at your money. And so I’m intentional about having that weekly money date on Fridays. My alarm goes off at 07:00 p.m. Because you have to know where your money is so that you can do these things, so that you can have that life of luxury that you want, so that you can plan for it appropriately and create the life that you want.
[47:50] Mercedes: Are you going to ask me what my money mindset story is?
[47:54] Telanna: Well, if you were going to give me a.
[47:59] Mercedes: Okay, okay, I’ll let you go ahead.
[48:01] Telanna: And ask yourself since you’re already.
[48:03] Mercedes: No, no. You ask me.
[48:06] Telanna: So, Mercedes, would you like to share with our lovely audience your money mindset stories?
[48:13] Mercedes: Absolutely. Thank you. I feel like I have, at least in my brain of what I have unpacked as that defining you have that traumatic moment for you. You may remember my story of returning to college for my sophomore year. Do you remember that?
[48:33] Telanna: What year was that?
[48:35] Mercedes: I don’t know. 2014? So I feel like, I have this feeling that if I spend my money on things that are not like, Quote unquote, good decisions, then when I need it, I won’t have it.
[48:52] Telanna: Makes sense.
[48:53] Mercedes: And you like my dramatic pauses.
[48:58] Telanna: Yes. I wish I had a drum.
[49:02] Mercedes: And I think it’s because basically when I was moving back to college, right.
[49:07] Telanna: Now, let’s just tell everyone that I muted because I had to sneeze.
[49:11] Mercedes: You had to sneeze, so you muted. That’s so responsible of you for the.
[49:16] Telanna: Exactly. Not.
[49:19] Mercedes: Well, because I didn’t know if you could hear me talk about my money story. I think the interesting thing here is because of that, I think I have buyers remorse. So I was having this moment where I should feel very proud. It’s when I bought my first car. Then I was going back to college and I needed to pay for my deposit for my apartment. And I had somebody who was supposed to help me with that, who ended up not helping me with that. And I had a traumatizing day. So I shall say no names. We’ve all grown up. Have we? Anyway, all right. Have we?
[50:02] Telanna: Tell your story, girl.
[50:03] Mercedes: I am telling my story. Because anyway, I figured, anyway, Mommy, you know how people talk about you have root issues. I feel like that one day was a very defining moment in my life, and I have many root issues to unpack from that day. And this is one of them. And it is the fact that feeling like, if you are kind of like, you make a big purchase or you do something that is kind of helping you to see this goal, right? And it’s ridiculous for me to kind of have unpacked it that way of, man, I should have not bought my car. That’s ridiculous because I didn’t have this other bare need met of having an apartment because obviously I could have took the bus or whatever else. And so I unpacked that as saying, like, wow, if you are making these things that are not like a bare minimum need as an expense. And so often when I’m purchasing things that feel like luxury, I don’t enjoy it as much as I should because I feel like something could go wrong because I spent my money in the wrong place. And so sometimes that’s hard for me to feel like. And I think we were talking about it the other day when Brandon was like, let’s go on a cruise. And I was like, a cruise because I wasn’t mentally prepared for that. I’m thinking, like, I can’t make this big expense. I haven’t thought about. It’s not rational, blah, blah, blah. I can’t do. And, like, look at my bank account. Obviously I could, but it was like one of those things where I just had all those kind of feelings of not having enough, even though I know that I have enough. And so that’s been one of the things that I have had to really work through and ask myself when in the last couple of years have I not been able to cover all of my expenses that I needed to, like, wild, right. And kind of restructuring what that is. To look at it from finding the evidence of saying, like, you’re in a different place, you’re living a life of abundance and you have more money than you need at any time. Thank you for asking what my money mindset story was.
[52:01] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:02] Mercedes: So nice of you.
[52:03] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:06] Mercedes: Okay, so, Mommy, as we wrap up, because I think we’ve covered most of our big topics here in our pursuit of luxury. And I can say, like, we lived it up in Turks and Caicos, there will be more luxury in our life. And we are purposely working on our mindset every day, those limiting beliefs, our money stories, in order to live the life that we know we deserve, period. And is there anything else that Mama Talana would like to add to this discussion?
[52:37] Telanna: I don’t think so. That’s good.
[52:39] Mercedes: That’s a beautiful way to end.
[52:42] Telanna: Yeah.
[52:43] Mercedes: On that note, I’m going to bring up my Amazon cart and look at my $31,000 Birkin. I actually added a black one, so now it’s like 40,000.
[52:57] Telanna: Why are Birkin purses even on Amazon? I’m so confused.
[53:01] Mercedes: Okay, so the fact that Amazon has now identified that I have a problem. Okay. I’m getting Amazon luxury ads on Facebook. Yeah. And I think that they are like. So for instance, I don’t think you can buy a Birkin anywhere other than a store new. So these must all be like used Birkins because I’m not going to go play in somebody’s face. Like, I’m just going to have to.
[53:32] Telanna: Petty company that you have to be.
[53:34] Mercedes: Yes. You have to play in there. They play in your face. Okay, we’re not doing that.
[53:42] Telanna: But that alone would be just like, not something I want.
[53:45] Mercedes: No, I’m like, you’re not about to degrade me and make me work for a purse. Sorry. That’s probably not how they look at that, right?
[53:54] Telanna: I’m sure they don’t.
[53:56] Mercedes: I mean, people who purchase it, I feel like the sales associates have to thank that person.
[54:03] Telanna: So I can’t even understand.
[54:05] Mercedes: I mean, and I probably am just as many others are into the hype, but I do love that it’s very not, you know, like how you buy like a Louis Vuitton bag and the icons, like everywhere. I don’t so much. So I just like that. It’s just like this very classy, pretty bag.
[54:25] Telanna: That’s nice.
[54:26] Mercedes: Anywho, so, yeah, I’ll continue to get my Amazon luxury fine ads and add them to my cart. Like an absolute sociopath.
[54:39] Telanna: Yeah, well, I’m sure it must help with your motivation.
[54:45] Mercedes: I mean, every day I go check my RV fund and it makes me feel so much joy because it means I’m getting closer and closer to in many ways. Looking at my Amazon cart and checking my high yield savings account brings me great joy. Okay, Mommy, what brings you great joy and helps you pursue your luxury am.
[55:18] Telanna: I don’t want to say I’m a simple person because I like little things. Like, literally, I went to Turks and Caicos and I bought a stuffed dinosaur.
[55:34] Mercedes: I just bought it.
[55:37] Telanna: On the chair in my bedroom and that makes me happy.
[55:41] Mercedes: It’s so cute. Luxury in life is being able to buy whatever nonsensical.
[55:47] Telanna: Exactly.
[55:47] Mercedes: Whatever animal you want at any given time.
[55:51] Telanna: And now I don’t even tell people it’s for my son. I’m like, it’s mine.
[55:57] Mercedes: Was there a point in time when you were doing did so you’ve come a long way. I’m glad that you’re your authentic self because it’s great.
[56:09] Telanna: And I got to run now because here in the Jeffers household, we eat late, and my dinner at 09:00 is just ready.
[56:17] Mercedes: I thought you were going to say you have to pee. All right, well, that all being said. Bye, chasers. We’ll see you for the next episode. And we are glad to be back and can’t wait for our next Chasing 100 podcast episode. Bye.
[56:32] Telanna: See you next time. arrivederci!
[56:37] Mercedes: Go eat your dinner. Get off my podcast. Bye.

.

The post Episode 6: Chasing Luxury appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

The key to a fulfilling and successful career is easier than you think and it starts with one thing: Chasing Career Alignment. Join Mercedes, a Career Coach for Black Women and Mama Telanna, a Life Coach for ex-Superwomen as we dive deep into what it means to have an aligned career.

Mercedes shares her personal journey of finding her dream job and the importance of being aligned with your gifts, purpose, and passion. Mama Telanna shared how she’s been thriving in her career of 30 years!

Together, they discuss the challenges of seeking clarity and alignment in one’s career, sharing personal anecdotes and valuable insights along the way.

Whether you’re just starting out or contemplating a career change, this episode will inspire and empower you to pursue meaningful work and create the life you want to live.

Stay tuned until the end to learn about Mercedes’ Career Love Journal, a tool designed to help women, particularly black women, find career clarity in just 28 days.

Don’t forget to subscribe and share this with a friend that needs a little more career alignment in their life!

And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us a note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

DOWNLOAD THE CAREER LOVE JOURNAL: ⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/career-love-journal ⁠

Explore Coaching with your Hosts

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Order A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger: ⁠https://amzn.to/3Un7v4R ⁠

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

Engage with the Podcast

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Support the Chasing 100 Club Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club

Chasing Career Alignment Transcription

[00:00] Mama Telanna: I don’t think that I’ve ever shown up because I was showing up for a check. I’ve showed up because I enjoyed what I was doing and I wanted to be there and I wanted to be with the people that I worked with because I enjoyed it. And so that’s a big difference. If you’re waking up and you’re like, oh, my God, but I got to get this bank, that is a bad sign.

[00:25] Mercedes: And I feel like when you do that, it’s like that’s what leads to you feeling depressed or for you to feel like you’re not living the life that you want to live, because then you think that that’s not possible for you to feel that type of fulfillment and meaning at work. It is. It just means that you aren’t doing the right kind of work. Hey, Chasers, it’s Mercedes and Mama Telanna here. It’s your favorite mother daughter duo. And we are back with a new podcast episode all about career alignment. But first, we have a little bit of a celebration. Okay.

[01:24] Mama Telanna: What?

[01:26] Mercedes: Okay, you just don’t be paying attention to me.

[01:28] Mama Telanna: No, I don’t.

[01:29] Mercedes: We hit our 100 plays like that’s super exciting. You just busted some, but yeah, we are excellent. So excited and really appreciative of you all going on the journey with us. And I think it’s really cool that we’ve had this type of traction already with our podcast. So onwards and upwards.

[01:53] Mama Telanna: Yes. As in our career and just career. How about almost and upwards in every way imaginable?

[02:02] Mercedes: That’s true, but I was trying to segue into our episode. You ruined it. I’m just kidding.

[02:07] Mama Telanna: Sorry.

[02:10] Mercedes: You look so defeated. Now you can know we are onwards and upwarding in all areas of life with our 100 goals. So let me validate you. Okay. Most people in my community have known I’ve been sharing about my transition and how it’s really just been this amazing experience for me thus far. But to let everybody in the community know, I landed my dream job about two months ago. I’ve been so excited, so happy, so fulfilled every day at work in my new role. And so I wanted to wait till I sat in it a little bit. To sat in it sounds like you’re like a baby going to say, sizzled, sizzled.

[02:56] Mama Telanna: That was going to make sense to me. But that’s just what it I sat.

[02:59] Mercedes: Down in my career, settled in. I won’t say I’m settled in, definitely. Everything’s still new. But anyway, all of that being said, I really wanted to come being a little bit into my job and into my role to share what I felt like I learned and also to talk about this topic of career alignment. And of course, I’m a career coach, so I want this to be inspiring to other women that feel like they can’t have a dream job or that there aren’t places in America that women and other marginalized or unrepresented underrepresented groups can thrive and be happy. So I’m going to be sharing my journey with you and how you can do the same. And my co host, Mama Tuana, is going to be here to listen in. I’m sure she’s going to have a lot of juicy details about her very long tenure and her career path. Yeah. So I’m going to start off by saying that I feel like the key, at least for me, for having a great life, a great career, being successful, kind of having that legacy, really starts with being aligned with your gifts and your purpose and your passion. I feel like all of those things help you to be successful, but a lot of people don’t get there because they don’t. Are you crying? Why am I always asking you? Are you crying? I feel like I ask you that once per episode.

[04:22] Mama Telanna: I know, you’re right.

[04:23] Mercedes: Right. Okay. Anyway. But I feel like that really starts with seeking clarity and alignment in your career. So that’s what I want to talk.

[04:32] Mama Telanna: About today, which I think is great, because when I look back at the start of my career, there was no alignment, there was no clarity. I just did what kind of was thrown in my lap.

[04:46] Mercedes: Most people do. Yeah.

[04:47] Mama Telanna: I got to the point where I enjoyed it, and it has been something that I’ve enjoyed, but I wouldn’t say that. I sat there and I said, oh, you know what? This is what I wanted to do. Because that’s actually not what I wanted to do. Because, as you know did I know that or you may not know?

[05:04] Mercedes: I don’t think I know.

[05:04] Mama Telanna: I don’t think you remember. I initially intended on going to school to do neuropsychology.

[05:11] Mercedes: How have I got to the old age of 28 with a psychology degree and you never told me?

[05:18] Mama Telanna: That has come up before. Yes, I wanted to go to new college.

[05:23] Mercedes: I remember that. Yeah.

[05:24] Mama Telanna: To do neuropsychology. Yes. So we’ve had this conversation before that I basically got into healthcare because my mother was already in health care, my sister was in health care, and so it just seemed normal. I’m going to go have the baby and then go down the healthcare administration route. But there wasn’t babies. You can have the babies, ma’am, but plan differently. To still consider. I think part of that career thing is that thinking about it, it never dawned on me that I could have still done neuropsychology without going to new college.

[06:14] Mercedes: Where was I? I was kidding. I was an embryo. Sorry. Because I was like, oh, go back and do it, girl.

[06:24] Mama Telanna: I think that’s great for you and as also a coach, that you really encourage people, because I feel like the earlier you find what you’re passionate about, because it’s very important to me for even my clients to have harmony in your life. And a lot of people, there’s a disconnect between who they think they want to be and where they spend most of their time, which is at work. So I think it’s great for you and also for the coaching clients that you work with to start this conversation and start off on a good foot. Because fortunately for me, I did end up doing something that did bring me a lot of joy, and that doesn’t always happen when you just throw yourself into the going through the motion yeah. In your career.

[07:18] Mercedes: Thank you. I’m going to have to hear more about this because I feel like actually that would be such a great career path for you. There’s still time, girl. There’s still time. No, I was kidding. Okay.

[07:28] Mama Telanna: I bet GRE book still on the show.

[07:30] Mercedes: Oh, my God, I forgot about that. Oh, my gosh. Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not going to get too distracted. You know, like, a lot of colleges are dropping that as a requirement. Yeah.

[07:39] Mama Telanna: So I’m just sitting here waiting. You waiting.

[07:44] Mercedes: I will be glad because honestly, but.

[07:46] Mama Telanna: They put me back in high school math.

[07:48] Mercedes: The GRE scoring is so frustrating. Sometimes I go back through my memories and I see where I had the specific score that I needed to get into my Master’s program. That was stressful. Anyway, okay, so before we get into it, I want to share that at the end of this podcast, I’m going to be sharing more about my journal. It’s called the Career Love Journal, and I created this to help women, specifically black women, find that career clarity in those 28 days. Because lacking the clarity is often what derails the entire job search. And people don’t think about that. They just think like, oh, they’re frustrated, they’re stuck, they’re whatever. And so I wanted a journal, and I think it’s so pretty, it’s purdy, and so it makes me want to write in it. But anyway, going through that journey yourself and kind of coaching yourself to what clarity is, I want you all to be able to have that. So I’ll talk about that at the end. Okay. So I guess I’m going to talk about what had happened. Right. What had happened was so just to give you a little bit of background on my career outside of a career coach, right. So I fell in love with human resources. So when people say, like, oh, I don’t know what a dream job is, I don’t know about loving work, I don’t understand that. I’m, like, can’t relate, respectfully can’t relate. Because when I found human resources, I was like, this is amazing. I originally wanted to be an industrial organizational psychologist, and I feel like I was kind of, like, jamming my desire to do HR, which I didn’t have a word for at the time, into psychology because I didn’t want to do research. I wanted to do more applied psychology and how that related to the workplace. And then I enrolled in my master’s program. And then I was like, oh, I discovered human resources. And then I literally never went back. I went and took all the HR classes. I got an internship, and then I became, like, an HR generalist. And then here we are seven years later. I went through that career path, kind of grew, and learned to do all different aspects of human resources. And then I went and I specialized in recruitment as what is called a talent consultant. So I did executive recruitment, and then about after a year of that, I became an HR manager overseeing a team of recruiters. And that’s where the clarity piece actually stopped for me, because there was never a time in that whole journey where I felt like I was out of alignment. And I think that was one of the most challenging things for me, is saying, like, hey, I’m actually, for the first time, career wise, not in alignment. But I hadn’t really thought about that, which is crazy, because I’m telling everybody.

[10:37] Mama Telanna: Else, like, you got to be in alignment.

[10:38] Mercedes: You got to know what you got to get clarity. And so when I was at a place where I was totally ready to leave my job, I wasn’t happy there anymore. I started applying to talent acquisition roles. I started applying to other manager roles, director level roles, roles that were like diversity recruitment roles as well. And I was not making attraction for over six months. That’s insane for me, because I’d be doing my thing, okay? I’ll be like, I’m ready to go by. I’ll see you all next time. So it was really like, I hit a moment where I was like, dang my confidence. I was like, something. What did I do? I might not be as good as I think I am. So I was going through it, and anyway, I feel like the moment I had this moment, I was on the phone with you, and I was crying. Mommy, why do you look away? You don’t remember that?

[11:36] Mama Telanna: I’m just joking.

[11:37] Mercedes: I was traumatized. I was so traumatized that Kevin, my stepfather, your husband, was like, It’s okay. I had to be having a rough time. And so it wasn’t until I actually went back and I thought, what is it that I really want? What is it that I want to do? What is it that most lights me up every single day at work? And I realized it was not the talent acquisition part of my job.

[12:06] Mama Telanna: It was going into health care like the rest of the family.

[12:08] Mercedes: Hell, no. I’ll be cracking me up with that. Okay, no, absolutely not. But what I realized, the part that I loved about my job the most was the de and I aspect of my job. I loved being able to bring talent in the organization, but I was way more excited that it was diverse talent. And I love to talk about recruitment practices, but I was way more excited that it was talking about being inclusive and equitable and righting wrongs and acknowledging systems of repression and how gender or race impacts a candidate in a process. And so I was like, wait a minute, wait a ****, hold up, maybe I need to rethink this. And so I always talk with my clients about finding their Eki guy or their sweet spot. And so that was actually more than six months into when I originally launched my job search that I finally did that one exercise for myself which is actually Asinine.

[13:16] Mama Telanna: Yeah, just a little bit, just a little bit.

[13:19] Mercedes: And so once I did that exercise, I was like, you know what, I want to do de and I like, I want to do that. And then I had to rethink my entire professional brand. I had to rethink the lens in which I looked at who I was as a professional and I went for it. And now I’m two months into my dream job and I’m so happy.

[13:42] Mama Telanna: So what’s the lesson that we get to learn from this?

[13:46] Mercedes: My lesson? I mean, I feel like I learned I think I learned a lesson that’s maybe different from the lesson that I’m trying to share from me chasing my dream job or chasing career alignment. But I think that sometimes when we feel that we have it figured out I’m a career coach, I have this figured out. Like I know how to job search, I know how to brand and our strategy. But it’s like all for what if you’re not going in the right direction. So I think for me it was one of those things of like I think the lesson that I want to share is that when we get so focused on the next step or especially when we are running from something that we no longer want to be in, is where I was. How do you still make sure that you’re not taking a step out of desperation, but you’re taking a step out of where you feel like your purpose is or where you feel like your passions are and you can go faster by slowing down and really considering it like what it is that you want.

[14:56] Mama Telanna: Yeah, beautiful. That’s where I was landing at when you were talking about that. I think so many times when things aren’t going our way, we look internally from a blaming perspective. And I think it’s so much it’s I think it’s so important to be able to pause because you know, one of my things, you ask good questions, you get answer, you get better answers. Right. I love that you were able to book name. Now you know, I’m not going to remember. Come on, the book name it is more beautiful questions.

[15:44] Mercedes: Yeah, we’ll put it in the show notes. It’s a really good book.

[15:47] Mama Telanna: I love that you were able to pause and just have this reflective time that didn’t send you down a hole, because oftentimes we just keep pushing ourselves in a hole instead of thinking positively to bring ourselves out of that hole. And I love that you just were very retrospective reflective. Wait, let’s go with reflective.

[16:15] Mercedes: I mean, it’s retrospective. Wait, is it?

[16:17] Mama Telanna: No, a little bit of it is, because you are looking back on what you’ve done. And then I would also say, too, it sounds like you said, okay, I’ve been using this strategy, and this strategy hasn’t been serving me. What’s the next best strategy? And strangely enough, it was your own strategy.

[16:38] Mercedes: I know this is not disrespectful.

[16:40] Mama Telanna: It was your own strategy that you weren’t using.

[16:48] Mercedes: Honestly, I played myself.

[16:51] Mama Telanna: Yeah, but that’s the power of coaching, though, right? If I’m going to say this, I feel like you stepped out of and this is the part that I love about coaching, especially coaching yourself. You have to have the ability to be the observer of your life. So I feel like if I’m just standing here like, you stepped out of your body, right? And you’re just like, yes.

[17:19] Mercedes: I would say I got out of my own way.

[17:21] Mama Telanna: Yeah, you got out of your own way. But I’m just saying this so that somebody can understand a visual of it. So you step out of your body, and you’re looking at yourself, and it’s almost if this was my client, what would I tell my client? Do? Because you’re in a position now where you’re able to observe yourself outside of the Mercedes that’s done this, done that, tried this, try that. Now you’re observing what you’re doing and as of the observer of your life, you’re like, I could tell my client, Go do the exercise. Right?

[18:02] Mercedes: Yeah.

[18:03] Mama Telanna: So I love that you did that for yourself.

[18:06] Mercedes: Yeah. I will also say there was something that my brain clung to when you were like, well, you didn’t go to the pit. And I was like, girl, I was in the pit. Okay? I was upset. I was traumatized. And I think we’ll talk about this at some point, too. I mean, we have a little bit, but the whole aspect of how big that misalignment can actually impact your life. Right. Because when I tell you all about mild depression, anxiety, I felt like I didn’t have a direction anymore. I was so frustrated. Yeah.

[18:40] Mama Telanna: I raised my coaching prices during that time.

[18:43] Mercedes: Girl, you would have been like, It’s okay. I would raise my Kajabi prices, my bin, salty prices. I was just joking. But I think that’s one of the things, too, is that in order for me to not go into that path, the wrong path right. I know that now was to realize that something was not right, was to realize, if I know that all of these strategies from a job search standpoint is not right, then it’s something else. Right. And I think about it later on, like, how I would go into interviews, like, for talent acquisition positions. And I’m not going into a company that’s not going to do right by having a deni program. So I would ask that, and I’d be ready to fight these people on the calls. And so it was really interesting to me to consider how I was showing up and presenting myself for I’m sure there are plenty of people that interviewed me that was like, I don’t think she’s applying for the right position. It’s one of those things where it’s like that alignment, like something felt wrong in even applying and looking at talent acquisition roles, but I wasn’t tapping into that and asking why.

[19:59] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And I guess that would be a good question to ask because when you just mentioning your interviews, the before ones and the after ones so what I was hearing was that before you had this revelation, there was some resistance and after that, there was more flow.

[20:24] Mercedes: It was so flow. I was getting on my interviews and I was like, getting mad at people. I don’t mean like, I don’t show up that way in interview, right? But I was like, what are these people doing? Their recruitment strategy is not right, and blah, blah, blah. And the more I think about it, that’s because I was already becoming who I was supposed to be in terms of looking at all of these things from a de. And I lunge because that’s what lit me up. And as soon as I was talking to my people about what I was supposed to be talking about, I was like yelling and screaming and laughing. You can probably hear me outside on my interviews. And I showed up with that because that’s what was really igniting that flame. And so I think it is that idea of yes, the flow of do you feel like in your element? Does this feel right? Does this feel natural? And I can definitely say when I started interviewing for other roles, my whole demeanor changed. Just talking to people about the work, not even getting an offer or whatever.

[21:26] Mama Telanna: And I think that takes out of that there is a certain amount of power that you released back to yourself where you just knew, well, you know what? I don’t have to take any job because you had made that identity switch.

[21:44] Mercedes: Yeah. Oh, my God.

[21:45] Mama Telanna: Which is so important.

[21:47] Mercedes: Yeah, it definitely was an identity switch. Because I remember I remember one time I got off an interview and I was like, I just talked to the CEO of the company and he said, oh my God, I was so ******. He said in an interview to me, a black woman, he was like I said something along the lines of, like, what is he doing to foster De and I in his organization? Which anyway but by the way, whether you want to be a deni professional or not, if you are a minority a black woman, a person of color. You better be asking these people these questions because they answer out of pocket. Okay? This man said to me, well, I wouldn’t want to hire less qualified people. That was a president of an organization where he automatically assumed that hiring a person of color meant I was hiring a less qualified person. And you know how I knew that? I was acting out of a place of desperation instead of power? What you said, I did not withdraw from that process.

[22:46] Mama Telanna: Yeah.

[22:47] Mercedes: And that’s craziness even though he sounds like a douche. Oh, my God.

[22:51] Mama Telanna: Can I say that?

[22:52] Mercedes: Yes. Probably not. It’s just crazy. And so I think it’s one of those things of like the person that I am today when you talk about identity would have been like just go ahead and just withdraw my application from that. And I don’t think I would have accepted that position. But I think that I was way too willing to figure out how to fix it. Like it’s not my job to fix it.

[23:19] Mama Telanna: I love that. I love that. And the biggest thing out of that, so many people live outside of their values. You will know when you are triggered by your values.

[23:28] Mercedes: Oh my God.

[23:29] Mama Telanna: And that is significant.

[23:30] Mercedes: Other will look at you and be like, are you okay? And I’ll be like, no. And then you proceed to rant for three more hours about how big of a jerk that CEO was for president. Yeah, crazy but yeah, I mean, I think that’s a good thing to think about from career alignment in terms of making sure that you are on the right path and making the right steps. Because one of the things that I think if you go into a job search without having your own values defined, without having your own interests and even boundaries defined, that you will end up in a cycle. Because I have seen this so many times. If I hadn’t thought about it, if I had been so desperate to leave and just get to that next step or whatever, then I could have ended up in a situation that was even worse in terms of workplace being in a toxic workplace or a discriminatory workplace or whatever. But if I hadn’t have even defined it at base value that having a diverse inclusive workplace was an important thing for me, I might have been in a bad place. And I feel like people don’t take time to understand that their values have to be as an alignment, as a job duties to have to be for them to be happy and to grow and have a successful career.

[24:48] Mama Telanna: Exactly. Definitely. I mean, I knew from the very beginning that I always needed to work at an organization that allowed me to honor my value, which is one of the highest for me, my family, and just being available to do what I got to do because I can’t be nowhere. That would be like, you can’t go pick up your children, or you can’t.

[25:18] Mercedes: I’ll see you tomorrow.

[25:20] Mama Telanna: It’s a no for me, and I will quit your job any day. It’s always been like that for me, and I’ve always showed up like that. So people just knew that was important to me, because even in all these jobs, people would treat you how you allow them to treat you. So those values are so important to you and reason why so many people end up being stressed, overwhelmed, unhappy because they take job. And now, look, I’m not here saying you can’t just take a job to meet a need when something happens in your life, but you have to understand that that’s not the place where you’re meant to plant yourself and grow. It’s temporary.

[26:11] Mercedes: And as long as you see it.

[26:12] Mama Telanna: Like that, that’s what it is. So I’m not talking about those situations where you have to do it because of some circumstance in your life.

[26:30] Mercedes: Hey there.

[26:31] Mercedes: It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the Show Notes.

[27:20] Mercedes: Love.

[27:21] Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.

[27:32] Mercedes: I have a question for you because I feel like I’ve been talking a lot too, but I’m not going to answer. You are going to answer because you always got some tea, okay? You got some what does that cost? Some novel insight. You always you got the what does your husband call it? Some nuggets. What do you know? He said you’re he said you weren’t listening to your mother in this past podcast. What did he say anyway? He was basically hiking you up. She dropped some knowledge. You weren’t listening to her. It’s okay. I got called naive earlier today too, so, you know, I just go let him do him. Oh. My question was so I speak to a lot of women that are like, I can’t have that. I want to be able to have a career where I can spend enough time or be there for my children or have the type of flexibility that I want or the comp, whatever it is, right? There’s always a need, right? We all have different needs, different boundaries that are going to allow us to live our best lives. And so what would you say to those women that think that what they actually want isn’t possible for them in their careers?

[28:44] Mama Telanna: I mean, first of all, is beginning the right organization? I think sometimes we just settle for what we get because the opportunity looks great. So I did start my career off in a large corporate healthcare setting. And I decided straight up that, okay, this isn’t going to work for me. And I decided to go and work for a family owned company. And of course, not all family owned companies are great, right? Some will run you through the ground. But like I said, I knew my value, so I knew I was aligning with a great company. So that’s important. And then the second thing that I would say, which is so important, the second thing is that feel your energy.

[29:39] Mercedes: Go ahead, drop the note.

[29:41] Mama Telanna: Often as mothers and caregivers or whatever, we have these unrealistic expectations of what is important to our kids. And it took me a while to get this. So while I would be frustrated getting up at 430 in the morning to cut up my kids sandwiches into these little shapes and do all this thing.

[30:06] Mercedes: Right, just want $5 for the vendor.

[30:08] Mama Telanna: That wasn’t important to them. And so I would say, if you feel like you’re in this space where you feel like you’re missing things or you need to be in this thing, have that conversation with your kids and say, what’s important for me to attend, where would you like to guarantee that I am at and go from there? I’m not at everything for my kids, but I’m at the most important things to them and it makes the world of difference. And so I went from going on every field trip and feeling guilty about the ones that I couldn’t go on, to really understanding what was important to my kids and understanding that those little cut up sandwiches that I used to get so mad about because they bought back home and didn’t eat because they ate that nasty school lunch. So I think that’s really important too. Understanding what’s important to you and to your family to make those type of decisions.

[31:08] Mercedes: It’s beautiful. Look at the growth.

[31:11] Mama Telanna: Because we put too much expectations on ourselves looking at other people and what they’re doing. We’re talking about careers. So I’m not going to go down that whole superwoman thing, but we’re going.

[31:24] Mercedes: To get to it. Okay?

[31:26] Mama Telanna: So I think those are the two most important things that I would say and just be willing to let go. Because I think every job I’ve ever had, like, they knew that if you come for me and what I need to do with my family, I’m a walk. Right up out of here. Okay. That’s why I don’t be stuff.

[31:47] Mercedes: So important to that is that they were definitely going to lose their top performer. They were losing their top performer.

[31:55] Mama Telanna: Yes.

[31:55] Mercedes: Like I said. What? I said, okay? I said what I said and you all could deal with it or you all could do all this work by yourself. Because I’m doing the work of 234-5678, 910, 1112.

[32:07] Mama Telanna: That would be the third thing too. Make sure your work ethic know your wife, make sure your work ethic allows you to have that power.

[32:20] Mercedes: Right, that’s true. But I was going to say, too, of like the upside of career alignment that people don’t talk about enough is like the upside of that. You become the best at what you do. You become the best that ever did it. You become the only that can do it. Yeah.

[32:38] Mama Telanna: The asset today, if I’m missing something’s wrong in the whole company.

[32:43] Mercedes: And it gives you this complete shift to be able to walk in not just your purpose, but the essence of you every day. And I think when I think about how I get to show up every day at work today, it’s very different. I get to talk about what I want to naturally love to talk about. I’m almost like Mercedes growing. You shut up. These people are going to sleep until I tell you. It’s like, we know, but we know. I’m just kidding.

[33:09] Mama Telanna: That’s the important for them, knowing that you show up because you want to be there, not showing up because I’m receiving something from you. I don’t think that I’ve ever shown up because I was showing up for a check. I’ve showed up because I enjoyed what I was doing and I wanted to be there and I wanted to be with the people that I worked with because I enjoyed it. And so that’s a big difference if you’re waking up and you’re like, oh, my God, I got to go here, but I got to get this bank, that is a bad sign.

[33:46] Mercedes: And I feel like when you do that, it’s like that’s what leads to you feeling depressed or for you to feel like you’re not living the life that you want to live, because then you think that that’s not possible for you to feel that type of fulfillment and meaning at work. It is. It just means that you aren’t doing the right kind of work.

[34:10] Mama Telanna: And that’s what allows your employers, sorry, employers to take advantage of you.

[34:18] Mercedes: Too that’s true. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Because that leads you back to boundaries, too, because it doesn’t mean that your work. Because I think there’s like that fine line between work and your whole being. Because I think the great thing about being in alignment at work is I get to tap into my gifts and get that energy and still after work be able to use that energy and other things that I want to do, whether that’s family or career coaching or travel or building my empire. Okay. And so I think that’s so powerful in that, yes, you can have that type of meaningful, purpose driven career path, but that doesn’t mean that you allow your life to be consumed and to still have your boundaries. But for me, for the most part, all of the employer that I’ve had the great opportunity to work for, whether or not I had some feelings about them upon my departure, is that they knew I was going to do the **** thing, it was going to be done. And I have to explain where I was, what I was doing, when I was doing what I wasn’t doing. And I also had the freedom to be like, I’m just not. And so it’s one of those things where just because you’re in alignment with what you want to do and what you’re happy to, you can happy to do, you can suddenly be out of alignment. And I think that’s the part where you’re talking about ease, right? Like, if you are working overtime to do something because you’re passionate about it, but you can’t take one from the other, you still don’t feel easy, still feel like there’s something out of alignment.

[35:54] Mama Telanna: That was a lot.

[35:55] Mercedes: It was a lot.

[36:06] Mama Telanna: Hey, y’all, Telanna here. From purpose minded woman, are you ready to shift from doing it all to doing what matters most? You are an educated, ambitious and driven woman who has created a good life. But sometimes I know that meant putting your desires on the back burner, trying to do it all alone, only to give up too soon on your own dreams because it didn’t happen fast enough. Or maybe for you, life distractions got in the way. Whatever it is, I want to know if you’re ready to move from good to great and create the life you’ve only been writing about in your journals. If you are, why haven’t you scheduled a complimentary call with me yet? The truth is, you don’t need more information. You need more action and better results. Schedule a call with me today and I’ll show you how. With the right mindset, guidance, motivation, accountability, support and strategy, you can stay consistent in creating the life you’ve been secretly dreaming of and achieve anything. So schedule your call today@purposemindedwoman.com. A question for you.

[37:31] Mercedes: So you’ve been me again? Yeah, girl, I’ve been talking a lot. You have questions for me? Please tell me. But you’ve been asking me questions. So you’ve been in the same career path for how many years? Longer than I’ve been?

[37:46] Mama Telanna: A lot.

[37:49] Mercedes: So what was it?

[37:51] Mama Telanna: 30 girls? More or less. Wow.

[37:54] Mercedes: So what was it that allowed you? You said like, you originally have this career path, but it became something that was even though you might not have expected it, something that you’re very passionate that you love doing and you’re passionate about the industry that you work in. So how did you know that and what has that meant, do you think, for you over the years in your career to have that alignment from the start of your career 30 years ago?

[38:20] Mama Telanna: I think it’s important in knowing what drives you and what brings you joy. So of course, there’s some parts of the jobs that I have had that didn’t bring me joy right. But the bigger parts of it. And so really knowing yourself, understanding your strengths and the things that you enjoy doing, I think those things I understood early were important to me and that I could find them in the position that I was in. And because I’m a learner, I wasn’t going to be in this position where, okay, this is what I was hired to do and that’s all I’m going to do. I always made it a point where I was going to learn above and beyond whatever organization I was in or whatever I was taught there, I was going to always try to excel. And I think that’s what really makes it exciting and what has made it exciting for me. Right. Because that’s just my nature, always trying to figure out how to do something better.

[39:33] Mercedes: I mean, I think that’s interesting because I think that’s like a little bit about when we talked about the beginning of this idea of having a successful career and having a legacy or generating wealth too, in that. Because when you are in something that you enjoy doing like you do, that success is so much more natural to you. And black women in the workplace already have so much that we have to come up against, whether that’s promotions or representation or straight up racism, discrimination, discriminatory practices. Okay. And to say we have to fight all of that. So why can’t our career be more of ease for us? And the fact that when we are at ease in the work that we do, not that it can’t be challenging, but you are enjoying that in that.

[40:24] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And that’s not to say that I haven’t had those stores or a moment of regret and said, you know what, I should have went and worked for a bigger company. Because like one day I think my husband said to me, well, if you would have worked at a corporate company, you would have made more money. And that is probably true. If I worked at a larger healthcare organization, I would have made more money. But he’s looking at it from what was important to him or what he perceives was important to me. And for me, I still fall back on those values for me.

[41:06] Mercedes: Oh my gosh. Yeah.

[41:07] Mama Telanna: And so, yeah, there are some times when I’m like, okay, what would life have been if I went down this corporate role? Could I have been an admin of a hospital? But then I would be like, no, that definitely out of alignment. Definitely out of alignment for my parents. In style. Right.

[41:30] Mercedes: People in health care, I’m like, Are you okay? Yeah, exactly. You’re in health care. But I mean, like, in a hospital.

[41:38] Mama Telanna: Yeah. And I don’t want to some people say, well, you choose to make that sacrifice, and I don’t even see it as a sacrifice. A choice that is a choice that you desire and aligns with your values is just one worth living in the long run. I feel like myself, my kids, hopefully, are better for the choices that I made. And so I think that it’s important to just take ownership of what you want and run with it, even if people don’t really understand. Because I remember when I resigned from the hospital, they were like, what? You’re going to do what? And I’m like, I sure am.

[42:23] Mercedes: Bye. But I think one of the most inspiring things, you don’t like to toot your horn, but I was like, I’m tooting it. Following that path for you led you to a path where you are today that you never probably anticipated for your life.

[42:45] Mama Telanna: No. I mean, are you talking about the ownership of yes Girl?

[42:50] Mercedes: No, of course.

[42:52] Mama Telanna: I would have never thought that was in God’s plans for me, but apparently it was, and I’m grateful for that.

[43:06] Mercedes: When you see those pictures, when they’re like, I was the teenager, and then I was the shift lead, and then I became the floor lead, and now I’m overseeing the entire hospital. And I feel like that’s your story. And it’s amazing because it’s like, when you are leaning into that, it is like, what’s possible for you changes when you follow the path that you’re exactly.

[43:32] Mama Telanna: And it’s beautiful to be able to live a life without the resistance.

[43:41] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. We get enough out there.

[43:43] Mama Telanna: Yeah. There’s so much stuff out there to mess you up that it’s great to just be able to have one area in your life where there’s not that much resistance, there’s not distractions. You’re in flow in that area, and you just do you?

[44:03] Mercedes: Yeah. I think the funny thing is, I’ve certainly had those moments of just really dreading. I’ve probably had a lot of dreading waking up, dreading having a meeting, dreading finishing a project. I have not felt that way once since I started my new job. It’s just the idea of pure bliss and happiness in what you do, and I think that’s an amazing thing.

[44:28] Mama Telanna: So I love that you said, now you wake up. So this is Monday. Is it Monday?

[44:36] Mercedes: Monday.

[44:39] Mama Telanna: And I know there are some people that didn’t have the holiday off, and they went to work, and they’re dreading it, and they’re, like, in their miserable place, and they’re just like, this is the worst thing ever. They’re counting down the minutes that’ll do the seconds.

[44:55] Mercedes: That’s how you become Alexa Pro. Girl. I haven’t taken any. Alexa Pro.

[45:04] Mama Telanna: I’m proud of you.

[45:05] Mercedes: Great.

[45:06] Mama Telanna: That’s wonderful.

[45:07] Mercedes: That’s crazy chef’s kiss. Okay, go ahead.

[45:10] Mama Telanna: What is their first step? That’s hard.

[45:17] Mercedes: That’s actually a hard question. I mean, it’s not hard for me to answer, but I think the mindset that would keep us in a place that feels like that to us can be so different based on who you are. Maybe you keep going to that job because you don’t believe there’s other stable careers financially. Maybe you don’t leave that job because you feel like you don’t have the right skill set for what you actually want to do. Maybe it’s more of like a follow through thing. Like, you know, you want this job, you know, here’s how you can get there, but you’re so tired, you’re so drained that you can’t show up. That’s hard. And so I think what the question is, what is the thing that wakes you up from that snaps you out.

[46:11] Mama Telanna: Of the what is it called? I don’t know. Sometimes we just need a kick in our butt.

[46:16] Mercedes: Yeah, okay, but what is the kick in the butt? What is it for you? And I think for me, it was realizing that unless I make a change, my life is not going to get any better.

[46:29] Mama Telanna: Okay, so what I would like you to do because okay. I would like you to be able to frame that in a question. Frame that in an empowering question for the woman or the black woman listening to this, who has been waking up every day and trying to figure it out, but not really being able to break through that resistance in her own mind. Right? Because she’s been ruminating on everything that’s going on. What is the question? What is one question that she can begin to ask herself?

[47:12] Mercedes: The question that I like to ask, and I think the question that I ask myself is I think I’ve asked this question on the podcast already before, too, because it’s a powerful question. I think it’s like, why can’t it get better than it already is? Or why can’t I have more than I already have? Because I think when you think of from a place of feeling stuck in somewhere you don’t want to be, the only reason that you’re there is because you don’t think you can get better. Now, the reasons that you don’t think that could be totally different, but it’s because you think that there’s some barrier that means you can’t leave or you can’t have something better.

[47:52] Mama Telanna: Yeah, exactly. So I love the idea of that. And I’m also throwing one of my favorite questions, which I ask myself a lot, at least a few times a week, is that, how do I want to experience this, whatever situation it is? So even at your workplace, you get to ask yourself, how do I want to experience my time here?

[48:24] Mercedes: You mean here on Earth?

[48:25] Mama Telanna: No, here at your job. How do you want to experience your time. Yeah, but here’s the thing. This is the reason why I ask that question, because that question has the ability to shift you from out of a negative state into a more positive state, where you are able to begin to think of other questions to build on it instead of you just sitting in a negative state in your office.

[48:55] Mercedes: That’s so true.

[48:56] Mama Telanna: Yeah. So it’s not one of those that’s going to give you all the answers, what you’re looking for, but it’s a starting point for other questions.

[49:04] Mercedes: It almost helps you identify what it’s wrong actually and to seek it elsewhere. Because if I thought about that question, I was like, wow, I want to be in a workplace where I feel.

[49:15] Mama Telanna: Fully supported by your ideal job. It helps you.

[49:18] Mercedes: Yeah. And the idea is that now I feel the polar opposite of that. Like I feel fully supported in who I am, the work that I do and what I’ve been hired to do. Right. That’s really powerful question.

[49:32] Mama Telanna: So then after you ask yourself, how do I experience, the next thing is.

[49:36] Mercedes: Let me go get it, what do.

[49:38] Mama Telanna: I need to do to experience? And I’m sure even in the I love that question because you can use it for any area in your life.

[49:48] Mercedes: Okay. Coach Tilana. Coach mama Tilana. She’s some dropping the nuggets. That’s a good one. I’m going to put that in my coaching back pocket. Yeah.

[49:58] Mama Telanna: Because even out in the public, I don’t like large crowds and stuff. And so I’m constantly you’re here, which I will be asking myself at the Beyonce concert you all are dragging me to.

[50:10] Mercedes: No, I’m going to be like, me, I didn’t drag you there.

[50:14] Mama Telanna: So I’m going to be asking myself, how do I want to experience this? And I want to experience it as a memory with my kids. So I’m not even going to be worrying about all the other weird people.

[50:24] Mercedes: Around this because in my head I’d be like, I want to experience this because that’s the whole thing. Like a lot of people what are you looking at? Like, girl, what you’re talking about? So you know how all those people want to be in the mosh pit? I’m like, no, I want to be in like a box that’s floating. I don’t want to be around nobody else. Okay, exactly. But that’s okay. That’s why I don’t want to be down there.

[50:45] Mama Telanna: Exactly.

[50:46] Mercedes: We’re going to go into it. Like I said, you can any area in your life.

[50:51] Mama Telanna: It’s just a brilliant question.

[50:53] Mercedes: Yeah, because it helps you figure out what lifestyle you want to live.

[50:57] Mama Telanna: And I know that I read that in a book somewhere too.

[51:00] Mercedes: Is it the more beautiful question?

[51:03] Mama Telanna: No kidding.

[51:05] Mercedes: Okay, so I told you all at the end of the podcast because I think we’re getting there and it also leads I might have to go update the journal. Okay. With that question because I was talking about the journal and it’s less than a year now, I think it’s six months ago I created a journal to help black women do this, ask themselves those big questions to help them be able to chase that career alignment and be reflective and use a pretty journal to do that. And so I wanted to read a couple of questions that I have in here because I want to definitely encourage you all to download it. It’s free. If you want to purchase a physical version of the journal, you can if you like to write in it. But the idea is you asking these questions is one of the best things that you can do to figure out what that career alignment is. And so this journal really takes you on a 28 day journey to really explore what that is. And so one of the very first questions right out the gate, day one, I was not being nice to you all. I said if there were no limits to what I could achieve, I would do this. Because it’s like people get stuck in the what is possible, what career could I actually have? And sometimes they don’t think about the bigger things in life, the values, like being a mom, being available, right? It’s like all of those things for your career to be in alignment, all of those things have to be too, right? Because then it’s just straight up not. And then also the journal also takes you through some more reflections about your career. And a lot of times we want to admit to ourselves the career that we really want. Like, oh, I can’t be in D and I because I don’t have that title. It’s like, okay, but what have you been dreaming about? And that’s day eight, what is the career that you’ve been dreaming about? And usually that’s when people say what they really want versus what they think they can have. So I really love that. And then also it helps you to start to break through some of those mindset shifts. So day 15 is even though the thought of pursuing my career goal seems daunting, I know it’s possible because so it gives you that power to start to reframe some of those things that you’re feeling that tell you that you can’t and that you can. And then you go through this phase of like dumping all your limiting beliefs and kind of reforming yourself to come from a place of confidence, come from that place of power, like you said, and really start to understand the value of who you are, the work that you do and why and then start to make a plan to moving towards that. And I end out the journal with two things, legacy and action, right? Because I think when you know what you want to be able to say at the end of your life that’s so inspiring to move forward. So I have in here on day 25, I’m going to have to add another day for your thing because I got a lot of good questions in here already. It says at my retirement party speech, I will be able to say, lovely. And then on the last part, you’re going to take that leap of inspired action and you’re like, I’m going to immediately move towards this career alignment by doing this. And it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t have to be, I’m going to quit my job today. No, we have this. Don’t quit your job, okay, just because you’re feeling inspired, okay? There’s a plan, there’s action. Okay? But what can you do today that’s going to help you get one step closer to career alignment? And that may be answering a question that may be updating your resume, that might be reaching out to a colleague that you know, who’s in the career path or is at the company that you want to be at. And there’s all steps in between, but, like, taking that action, that immediate action today, right after you finish this podcast, okay? To move forward and see a little sliver of that, that’s powerful. That’s what I got to say today. Cool. So I will put the career love journal below. It’s free. You can download it. If you were like, girl, I need some more of you in my life as my career coach. Then you can schedule a call with me below too, if you like. My mom, I mean, I don’t know why she is fabulous. Obviously, I’m inspired by her story, but obviously she will get you all the way together, too. Okay, I’m going to need to get some coaching questions from her, too. Then you can schedule a call with her below to kind of talk about where you see your life and where you’re going with that. So that being said, thank you so much for joining. This is a really exciting podcast, and I was really excited to just share where I have been and why I have been so happy and jumping off the wall and excited about my career. And I want that for you, too, okay? So I hope that you can use this to advance your career. So all that being said, we out next time. See you all later, okay? We can’t wait to be like we’re on our thousands, thousands of plays, 1000 plays, okay? So see y’all later. Bye. Bye. Hey, Mercedes here. Before you go really quick, make sure that you subscribe to this podcast if you have loved what we are putting out there, okay? And also, if there’s somebody in your life that you know could benefit from this information, make sure you share this podcast, okay? They need the love, too. And finally, to help us grow, we are so excited about, again, this 100 views, plays, whatever you want to call it, and we want more, so definitely leave a review to help us grow this podcast. Okay, bye.

The post Episode 5: Chasing Career Alignment appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

In this special edition of the Chasing 100 Club podcast, Mercedes and Telanna share their unique and entertaining experience with floatation therapy in a sensory deprivation pod.

Join them as they delve into the world of self-care and explore this popular trend in relaxation and introspection. Discover how they stumbled upon the concept, the reasons behind their curiosity, and their initial apprehensions.

Get ready for an insightful and humorous conversation about finding peace, embracing stillness, and letting go in the ultimate pursuit of tranquility. Don’t miss this hilarious and enlightening episode of the Chasing 100 Club podcast!

If you’re enjoying this podcast, send us a note of encouragement at ⁠⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

FREE DOWNLOAD FROM TELANNA:

Unlock Your Success: Master 6 Simple Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage and Channel Your Energy towards Your Goals

⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/_Self_Sabotaging_Habits_PMW⁠⁠

FREE CAREER CLARITY CHAT WITH MERCEDES: https://www.mercedesswan.com/career-clarity-chat

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/⁠⁠

Learn about Float8 (this is not sponsored): https://float8ion.com/

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Chasing Sensory Deprivation Transcription

[00:00] Telanna: Just makes me farts in the water.

[00:05] Mercedes: Yeah, because oh, my God, you out too. Because we went out to brunch and we both had to fart, but apparently mine were, like, silent and not deadly. Apparently hers did some damage to her paws.

[00:24] Telanna: Close.

[00:35] Mercedes: Hey, Chasers. Welcome back to a special edition of the Chasing 100 Club podcast. It is Mercedes, and it’s Telanna.

[00:46] Telanna: Oh, Mommy. Telanna.

[00:48] Mercedes: Telanna. Yeah. Pick what your name is, ma’am. But we recently went to a float eight experience in a sensory deprivation pod, which Mommy has been doing for a little bit. And this is my first time, and I loved it.

[01:08] Telanna: She welcome.

[01:09] Mercedes: Loved it always. So we figured we could do, like, a really special maybe quick. I feel like when we say quick, it’s not going to be quick, but let’s see how we do. And we’re going to talk about our experience with float eight sensory deprivation pod. Yay.

[01:25] Telanna: Yes. I’m excited.

[01:29] Mercedes: So if you’re new here, if you’re new here, we generally talk about our biggest 100 goals and things that we’re doing in our lives to bring those to fruition or where we are in that journey. And a big, really big trend is, like, taking time for self care and to experience joy and peace. And so I really felt like this topic had a lot to do with all of the different things that we’ve been doing to take care of ourselves. So I think at this point, Mama Talana, you should tell us about how you discovered this thing and why you do it. Go for it.

[02:09] Telanna: Is that too big on the topic? No, I think it’s great. And that’s how I did find it, because when most people well, I think it’s I’ll rewind a little bit, because in the beginning, when most people were talking about self care, it was all about, go get your Manny, your Penny, your medi. Lord have mercy, your manicure. I know. That’s why I shouldn’t be abbreviating anything. Go get your mani pedi. That’s what a lot of self care talk was around for women or go get your hair done, or go one of those things. And then it kind of evolved into, okay, taking care of your health is health care. So we dove into you said taking.

[03:01] Mercedes: Care of your health is health care. Yeah.

[03:03] Telanna: Taking care of your health is self care.

[03:05] Mercedes: There you go. Yeah.

[03:07] Telanna: Rhyming too much.

[03:09] Mercedes: It’s too many words. It’s okay. I just didn’t want people to be, like, confused. She just said, health is healthcare. Duh. I’m sorry.

[03:17] Telanna: Too many words. So then the health care started to become self care. So are you making those doctors appointments? Are you going to the dentist? Sorry, flashback. Are you those annual checkups and your mammograms and so one of the things that I started looking at, because I am not a man pedi type of gal sometimes, but it’s not something you.

[03:47] Mercedes: Want to tell us why? No, just kidding. Why not?

[03:50] Telanna: Mostly because I’m wonder why touching me?

[03:54] Mercedes: I was going to say because you just ripped them off before you could get in there.

[03:59] Telanna: Well, that is true, but I just don’t like I mean, I never I don’t like people touching me. Even when I went to cosmetology school and to get my nail technician license, I just didn’t in school, you have to do it on each other. I didn’t want anyone touching me. And so I’m kind of the same way. Same way with massages, too. I will do them, but it’s not at the top of my list. It’s more maintenance than, hey, come here, let’s relax.

[04:25] Mercedes: That makes so much sense of why you like the float eight, because nobody’s touching you, but it’s just as relaxing.

[04:34] Telanna: Although when we did get there and you was like, oh, I didn’t know there was a pod where two people could go in. Horrifying.

[04:42] Mercedes: I know.

[04:43] Telanna: Don’t come for me.

[04:44] Mercedes: Okay. I was thinking about that for me and Brandon. I’m fully aware that you would not want to be in a pod with me. No, you’re welcome.

[04:54] Telanna: I don’t know why anybody would want to be in pod with anyone, to be honest, but whatever.

[05:01] Mercedes: Yeah, I think I would have to do it to see if I liked it or not.

[05:06] Telanna: Yeah, I don’t know. I have this vision of crashing into them as you’re floating and messing up the atmosphere and the experience. I digress. But anyway, like I said, the reason why I was looking for this is because I was looking for things outside of the normal, quote unquote, self care things. And this is something that I had seen a while ago, and it just kind of floated away. And then last year before my birthday, I saw a Facebook ad how Facebook stalks you with the stuff that you didn’t know that you needed.

[05:55] Mercedes: It’s pretty good sometimes.

[05:58] Telanna: Good. And so I saw a Facebook ad, and they said, hey, they had good targeting ads, though. I always love when I get targeted by ads for my birthday. So their ad was a targeted ad for your birthday, and you got 40% off. And so I was like, girl, this is the moment. What God has for you is for you. He knew that this was in your spirit a while ago, and you forgot. And look, he just presented it right here because he knows that you need to relax. Hey, y’all. Mama Telanna here. Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it? Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose Minded Woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back. Okay. To help you get started, I created a free resource. Six simple steps to Stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps you can take to take action and control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindderwoman.com.

[07:57] Mercedes: Okay, wait, I didn’t know that you had been wanting to do that for a while. Yeah, I didn’t know that.

[08:04] Telanna: I did want to do it for a while, and then I kind of forgot about it as we do. I don’t forget about these things now because I have a notion board, this type of stuff. There’s my notion plug.

[08:14] Mercedes: I know.

[08:16] Telanna: Yeah. I had forgotten about it, and there it was, and I jumped on it. I was like, this is something I.

[08:23] Mercedes: Want to try my time.

[08:24] Telanna: Yeah, I know, right? Parking spaces. That’s a whole nother story anyway, but yeah, so I jumped on it, and then as soon as I bought it, I was like, oh, darn. I got like this is now an.

[08:43] Mercedes: Expensive self care habit.

[08:46] Telanna: It wasn’t even expensive. It was just like, the uncertainty of, like, what are you getting yourself into? What if you drown, girl?

[08:55] Mercedes: Floating. Yeah, no, I get it, though. Can you imagine? Because I do think it would be really hard to drown in there. Okay, my next question for you, because we’re talking about floating float Eight, sensory deprivation tank, pod, whatever you want to call it. So for anyone who has watched Stranger Things, like, oh, Mommy, it’s in Fringe, too, right?

[09:20] Telanna: Yes, I think so. Okay. Which is probably where it was where I originally got it from. Fringe.

[09:27] Mercedes: Yeah, you’re welcome. Anyway, if you’ve seen Stranger Things or Fringe, it’s that pod that they’re floating in so they can do, like, their psychic stuff.

[09:40] Telanna: Well, I didn’t get psychic.

[09:42] Mercedes: We didn’t get any psychic downloads. But I think, Mommy, you should tell them a little bit about what it actually is. What do you do? What’s the experience?

[09:53] Telanna: So I will say let me first start off by saying the location that I went to is called Float Eight. So in your city, if you’re going to start looking this up, you’re going to either be looking well, you’re going to look for sleep I’m not sleep. Sensory deprivation, pod, or float experiences. If you’ve got groupon, I think I’ve seen them on groupon as well. So just want to clear that up. The place that I do is called float eight. The experience is not float.

[10:33] Mercedes: Eight.

[10:35] Telanna: So it’s very interesting. Like, a week before I went, they sent you out all of the videos that they have on YouTube. For you to check it out and see what it’s like. I was really interested in going because I was thinking it was going to be kind of like meditation. You have the opportunity to quiet your mind. And as you know, one of my top 100 goals is always chasing quiet time. Quiet time to think and just be right. And so I was like, oh, this is a great opportunity for me to be alone and just be quiet, be still.

[11:24] Mercedes: If you wanted to get away from your family, just say that. I’m just kidding.

[11:29] Telanna: Well, of course. It’s not like I don’t tell them. That’s why I checked myself in hotels. But that’s another episode.

[11:38] Mercedes: Yeah, sorry.

[11:38] Telanna: Go ahead. And so when I first went in there, they give you a walk through and you just go in there and it’s like yeah, it’s like a pod. It looks like a big egg.

[11:51] Mercedes: It does look like an alien spaceship egg.

[11:57] Telanna: I can’t even really think of what that movie is where the lady comes out of some lava looking thing. Anyway.

[12:08] Mercedes: But it just about Fifth Element.

[12:11] Telanna: The fifth element. I should know that because Kevin has watched that like 20 million times.

[12:16] Mercedes: Okay, we’re not we’ll fact check this later.

[12:19] Telanna: Yeah, wait, I’m going to fact check.

[12:20] Mercedes: It while you keep going.

[12:21] Telanna: Keep going. I don’t know, but that’s what it looks like when you first see it. The water is really still. The room is very dark. It’s a great mood. One of the things that they recommend is that you do not eat a heavy meal afterwards. One of the things that they also didn’t recommend I got so thirsty when I was in the tank. I don’t know why every time I go, I get really thirsty. And so this last time I had intended to just have a little small cup of water in there on the shelf and I forgot again. Yeah. So the interesting part is now some people might think that this is a little bit weird, right? Because first of all, before you go there, you have to shower. And that’s not weird. You have to have clean hair. So that means for especially like, you and I, we’re natural hair.

[13:19] Mercedes: We have product in our hair.

[13:21] Telanna: And so in the beginning, I was like, well, this isn’t going to be once a month, every other week type of thing because I’m not trying to deal with my hair like that. Because in the tank is salt, okay? And that salt will be all over you for days. All over you. And one of the things that my kids I don’t know which one of you all was like, you should get a swim cap. Why didn’t think of that? I don’t know. But it was the best thing ever.

[13:58] Mercedes: It was probably KJ. He is the most logical of the three of us.

[14:01] Telanna: That is true. Except the first swim cap I got was too big and the water, the salt got all in my hair. So here’s the funny part about it, though. When you get in the tank, so I usually do 60 minutes, I recommend your first time that you do 90 minutes. Why? Because it’s going to take you about 30 minutes just to get used to being in the tank and just trying to calm your mind about the fact that you are in a tank. The thing is closed. You can have the lights on or off. You can have music on or off. One of the questions I always get asked when I share this, whether it’s on TikTok or on Facebook or anywhere, is, I can’t do that, I’m claustrophobic. And so I want to say specifically to people who are claustrophobic, one, there’s a pretty big space in there, right? You have room at the top where you can just sit up in there and there’s even some more room if you sit up. And also if you’re claustrophobic, you can have the same experience and keep the pod open. You do not have to close the pod. So I want to make sure that you know that if this is something that you want to do and you feel claustrophobic, you do not have to close the pod. You can absolutely keep it open. Yes, it changes the experience a little bit, but it’s doable. And that gives you the opportunity to try it and see, hey, maybe I would still like to do this, but with the pod open, because either way, you’ll still be able to be in a dark room. The pod will just be open because once you get in, the lights are kind of censored, so they’ll go off anyway.

[16:02] Mercedes: Yeah, I also wanted to share for me, because I think I don’t know if maybe for you it was more natural, but it was really nice for the lady who was there that day to kind of share. Not everybody does that well with sitting in a pod for the whole 60 minutes, too. So for me, I sat in there and it’s like a little hatch, right? So I sat in there and I just sat for maybe five minutes before. I don’t have any claustrophobia issues, but I just kind of sat in there to kind of get comfortable and feel myself kind of be buoyant so I could get comfortable before I close the hatch. And then the lights went off and I got to see kind of a little bit of the ambient lighting and the music. And so it’s like one of those things where it’s like you can make that experience, like what you’re comfortable with. And if you want to float for your entire float with the hatch open.

[17:01] Telanna: Or you don’t even want to float.

[17:02] Mercedes: Fully, you just kind of want to be a little buoyant and sit in it to get comfortable. All of those things are possible for.

[17:09] Telanna: You to feel comfortable.

[17:11] Mercedes: And I didn’t stay in there for 60 whole minutes either because I was like, stressed. I couldn’t quiet my mind. But I know that’s something that happens over time. But I just wanted to say, like, if you’re like 690 minutes, all of this stuff I just wanted to reiterate. You can make it what you want to.

[17:32] Telanna: Yeah, exactly. And you can get in, get out the room. I’m sure different places, it’s going to be different, but the room that I was in has a nice little bench that you can relax on if you want to wait. They provide you with a towel, but you can take any other things that you want. I take my own shampoo, I take my own toiletries, even though they have those ones available for you. So you can really make the experience whatever it is you want to. If you want to bring your own music or play your own music from your cell phone, I’m sure that you can do that, too. Instead of utilizing what they have, it’s just checking whatever facility that you’re going to use and finding out what works for you. And I will say check the facility before you go, okay? Because oh my gosh, I didn’t check. Well, I did check because I’m just that person. So I checked two days before I went, two or three days before I went and I realized I had to parallel park. Oh my God, your girl had to parallel park to go to this you.

[18:51] Mercedes: Won’T make me tell you that. Tell that parallel parking story.

[18:55] Telanna: And I started freaking out, right? Because I do not like the parallel park. It’s not that I cannot parallel park, I just don’t like the pressure of when people drive up behind you and they’re waiting for you to do this ninja parallel parking. So I was going to cancel. I was like, I am not going. I cannot parallel park. Oh my God, I’m just going to cancel so much. I know, right? But I’m glad I did not cancel and I’m glad I did find where I could just drove into the parallel parking on the side road. So I did not park directly in front of the building because that would have required some serious parallel parking and I just wasn’t made for that. So I did have a little bit anxiety about that beforehand. So that’s why I said always look and figure out where the location is that you’re going before you go, so that when you show up, you don’t have any surprises that’s going to take away from your experience. Okay? That’s my advice.

[20:07] Mercedes: I’m not telling the Barney story.

[20:10] Telanna: Maybe you’ll never get a Starbucks ever again out of me.

[20:15] Mercedes: Whatever. Luckily for me, apparently my doggy son buys me Starbucks, so I don’t need you anymore. I’m just kidding. Now Starbucks. So in the background, y’all, I did go look up these pictures and she was talking about Fifth Element, but that is not what the pod looks like, so please don’t think that’s what the pod looks like.

[20:48] Mercedes: Hey there. It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that, too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the Show notes.

[21:38] Mercedes: Love. All right, let’s get back to the episode. So one of the things that I think is funny is that I love water. I love being in water, being around water. It gives me peace and joy. So as soon as I got in that pod I’m not joking I don’t even know if I told you this because we were just talking about all the things, but I cried legit because it was so overwhelmingly peaceful. And you know how you kind of get in water and you want to be carefree, but you don’t want to drown? So that was so nice to just get into the water and feel your body release all tension because it’s just floating. There’s no tension on your body.

[22:31] Telanna: Tell the people why you were really carefree, because I didn’t think I shared that. Wait, what do you mean in the fact how you can dress to get in the pod?

[22:45] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. I forgot.

[22:46] Telanna: I did not care that I was.

[22:48] Mercedes: Like, this was just part of the experience. I totally forgot because I was like, we should go into what you do in the pod. Why is that beneficial? Okay, so, yes, when you go into the pod, you can choose to go in your birthday suit or you can wear a bathing suit or I mean, I guess they don’t really care if you’re fully closed as long as you took a shower, but anyway, so you can get in the pod however you want. I, of course, went with my birthday suit because who wants to feel anything? But that’s the whole point. I’m not feeling anything. Carefree. And most sorry because mommy was like, I know you went in there without no clothes on.

[23:26] Telanna: I didn’t see my baby suit back.

[23:28] Mercedes: No, I already knew I was going there with no clothes on because I love water, I was not worried about the floating at all. That was not it. But the reason that I had a little bit of the anxiety and stress going into it and why I couldn’t fully relax my brain is because I was worried about dozing off, or not because of drowning, but because I didn’t want to not hear the sound. So in the pod, you’re literally just floating, trying to relax your body, ease your mind kind of like you would in meditation. But you really don’t have that sensation as much for your body. Right. So your body kind of leaves the process of easing your mind. I guess that’s the best way to say it, because it’s just floating, it’s that complete relaxation. And then you can kind of hear your mind, which I wasn’t able to do, but I got closer. But I love just the free feeling of being, of floating in the water. And that’s what I really loved about it. And hopefully next time I go I can do a little bit I don’t want to say better because I was like, that’s kind of like this work, but I can ease my mind a little bit more.

[24:41] Telanna: And I think every time you go, you’ll see that it a lot quicker for you to get relaxed. I know for me, when I go in the first half of it, I have lights on, music on, and then the second half of it I have lights off, music off. And I think it’s because by then I feel like I’m in the state of mind that I really need to be so that I’m able to just check out. This last time I went, I did wear my aura ring. And we can do an episode sometime about that because I wanted to see if I fell asleep in there because sometimes it’s hard to tell if you actually dozed off or took a nap or anything. And unfortunately, I don’t think my ring picked up on whether or not I fell asleep. But I’m going to try it again next time though.

[25:52] Mercedes: Okay? Yeah. And for those who don’t know what an aura ring is, it’s like a fitness tracker, but it’s just a ring. And it gives a lot more detailed analytics and results about your health and fitness, sleep, those types of things. And it’s in a ring just in case.

[26:10] Telanna: Yeah, because a lot of the goals that I’m chasing, mommy chasing, yes, a lot to do with just doing life better in general.

[26:23] Mercedes: Yeah.

[26:24] Telanna: So we’ll talk about the ring some other time because I love it.

[26:28] Mercedes: Yes, we’ll have to do like a fitness one, so I know we have a career one because I had a career shift that I want to talk about. And then we can do like a health one too because I feel like we are on our health, wellness and fitness grind right now. Seriously?

[26:43] Telanna: Yes.

[26:46] Mercedes: My waist hasn’t reflected that yet, but I’m really proud of. Okay, cool.

[26:56] Telanna: Speak it into existence.

[26:59] Mercedes: Yeah, no, I’m honestly really proud of myself, and I’m really proud of you, too. And we’re in it together.

[27:07] Telanna: And talking about benefits. So let’s talk about the pod number. Now, there’s all sorts of benefits, right? And of course, I’ll just put that disclaimer out there. What works for one person may not work for you. So please make sure that even in something as what seems as simple as this, that you might even want to consult with your own physician first. Right. Whatever is up to you. But for me, the results was just sheer relaxation. Just being able to be still and to think and meditate. And for me, just being able to because before I go in, I try to pray and I try to ask God to let me hear anything that I need to be hearing that I haven’t been able to hear because I’ve just been out in such a noisy world. So that has been good for me, too. And I always make sure when I get out of it not to just go and jump right in the shower. Right. I try to reflect and document if anything came up for me during that time. So that’s one of the things for me. The other thing is I have arthritis in my knees and it’s just relaxing. I felt like my body tensions were just gone, and I felt very relaxed and just it’s kind of hard to explain what I felt in my knees per se, but I can totally I can’t put it into words.

[29:15] Mercedes: It’s almost like as soon as you get in that water, it’s like a release. It’s like everything in your body just releases. It’s almost like when you take a deep breath and you can just kind of feel your body expand and release. That is what it feels like as soon as you hit the water. And that’s honestly why I cried, because it just felt so good. Like, not a bad cry, like a.

[29:40] Telanna: Happy cry, but it feels like you’re I don’t want to say, like you’re letting go. I don’t know if I could put, like, passing out nicely into a little box, but yeah, you know what’s? Those things when they I can’t even think of the thing now where they do the drop and somebody catches you.

[30:04] Mercedes: Like a trust fall.

[30:06] Telanna: Yeah, one of the trust falls. There’s a part of it that just feels like as soon as you get in it and you lay out and you I don’t know, it’s just magically. Like, everything disappears. Whatever is on the outside of that pot does not exist. And I think that’s what I love about it. And I feel like I’ve only had one really other experience like that one time, which is kind of a weird thing, but when we were moving and we took some things to the dump, and it was so were you with us? I can’t remember.

[30:50] Mercedes: But it was so therapy and we.

[30:52] Telanna: Were throwing out like this.

[30:55] Mercedes: It was so therapy.

[30:57] Telanna: Yeah. And so I think that this is one of those things, too. It’s like you just leave everything behind.

[31:07] Mercedes: Yeah.

[31:07] Telanna: And your body knows it. Your body knows it, and that’s the instantly it’s amazing.

[31:13] Mercedes: I’m telling you, as soon as you hit that water, it’s like your body’s like poof. And one of the things I was going to say in relation to that, I just lost my train of thought. Oh, I remember it came back. So it’s like if you’ve ever heard trauma informed, it’s not like meditation or stretching, but those people that tell you how you hold trauma in your body when you’re stressed out and you can feel it all in your neck and your upper back and your shoulders, that kind of thing. I think it’s so nice to just be able to ease your mind without all of the stress that you hold in your body from whether that’s existing or because you’re going through something or trauma. It’s so nice to just have that be released so that you can actually have your mind be the focus.

[32:11] Telanna: Yes.

[32:11] Mercedes: There’s something else.

[32:12] Telanna: Exactly. And I know that when you look on the different websites for these, there’s a lot of other health benefits that they say that floating helps with. Now, I’m not really going to go into them because I haven’t researched that scientific evidence for it. Right.

[32:40] Mercedes: You don’t know how you can have what is that called, a psychedelic trip in there? You haven’t figured that out?

[32:46] Telanna: No, I don’t know, because that’s not what I’m going for.

[32:53] Mercedes: I’m really excited for that moment where you have a very vivid vision in there, because I know sometimes that happens to you. I can’t wait. It’s going to happen.

[33:03] Telanna: It’s going to happen.

[33:05] Mercedes: You’re going to be like.

[33:09] Telanna: Yeah.

[33:09] Mercedes: You’re going to be like, dear God, I only get one of these for ten years.

[33:14] Telanna: Yeah, that would probably be a two hour float because, of course, we’ve been on this health and wellness and one of the things, too, that is sleep. So I’ve been paying more attention to sleep. I’ve been paying more attention to when I do have those type of dreams. So we’ll see.

[33:34] Mercedes: I’m ready. I think you’re going to join the rest of us in our prophetic dreaming and divisions and whatever else. It’s fine.

[33:44] Telanna: I’ll stop denying your gifts.

[33:47] Mercedes: Yeah, that’s okay.

[33:49] Telanna: Well, denying the weird ones anyway.

[33:53] Mercedes: Oh, my God.

[33:55] Telanna: The ones I feel are too weird.

[33:58] Mercedes: Okay. All right. You have too many of us around you for you to feel in that way, but it’s okay. You got your best friend, you got your daughter, your mama and your sister. I don’t understand how you got here, but I guess oh, my gosh. It’s because none of us are in the house. With you.

[34:14] Telanna: Wow.

[34:15] Mercedes: Okay. I’m sorry. Let me go. Okay. So did we talk about everything that we wanted to talk? Oh, okay. What about after the float? How do you feel after you float?

[34:26] Telanna: Salty. No, I’m just joking.

[34:29] Mercedes: Well, I was getting salty. I was going to say I didn’t have any salt stuck to me.

[34:36] Telanna: Oh, wow. Show off.

[34:39] Mercedes: No, but that’s what I was because.

[34:40] Telanna: When you were saying it stays on.

[34:43] Mercedes: Me for days, I was like, I didn’t have any salt on me.

[34:46] Telanna: No, I was saying, well, see, normally when I leave there, this time, I took a really good, good shower before I left there. But normally I just rinse off and get my happy behind in my car so I can take a shower at home. But no, I think the biggest thing with the salt is if you’re using soap and stuff, no, you’re not going to have it on you. The biggest thing is the hair. From a perspective of women who have natural hair, I feel like it gets in those coils.

[35:29] Mercedes: Okay. I’m wondering if it’s just kind of like your hair texture. Because my hair did fine, but also my hair is also used to me, like doing that to it.

[35:39] Telanna: Yeah. And see, mine is mine is like, what is going on? Yeah. So that’s definitely one thing you want to make sure after you get in that salt, like, you shampoo and you do a really good moisturizing conditioner in your hair because of the salt.

[36:02] Mercedes: I wonder if this is like a low porosity versus high porosity girly problem.

[36:07] Telanna: It could be. It could very well be.

[36:10] Mercedes: I’m a high porosity girly. We know you’re a low porosity girly, and we hate you for it. But that could be it because my hair is just like I don’t know. This is, like, normal. Okay, anyway, enough about hair stuff. What else about your post float feel?

[36:32] Telanna: I will say this is not necessarily post float, but one of the things I recommend, too, is trying it during morning, afternoon, and evening and seeing which one works best for you. I feel like I would probably be a good floater in the evening. However, the place that I go to is not very close to me, and so I haven’t done any of the evenings. But I feel like if I did go in the evening, I would sleep like a baby. I mean, I sleep pretty good now, but I just feel like if I did that in the evening because my float place is actually open until 09:00.

[37:18] Mercedes: That’s so nice.

[37:20] Telanna: I really think about that.

[37:23] Mercedes: If you wanted to be super bougie about it. Well, one you can make. Somebody in your family can get you your husband, but you could do an Uber. You’re like, you know what? I definitely want to have a very nice, relaxing experience. I’m going to Uber there. I’m going to Uber back. So it’s like, no worries. I was also going to say I think it’s important as much as it is about the time of day. Is it also about kind of like what you have going on around the time? Because we were going on Mother’s Day, which was lovely, we kind of lost track at Ulta, which Alta totally makes sense. I was buying my Fenty and then I was so kind of stressed in getting there that I feel like that did hold back some of my ability to relax. I was kind of like headstrong. Is that right? Anyway, I was kind of like all over the place when getting there, but once I was there, it was a little bit easier because I knew I didn’t really have anything else to care about afterwards. So I will say don’t do this on like a lunch break or something. Do this when you have time to be leisurely so you don’t have the stressors of it all while you’re there because you have same experience.

[38:39] Telanna: Yeah. And I think after the first time, after the first time and you know what to expect, you can schedule better. And I feel like you have a different experience because you go in there with a different mindset of how you want to experience it the first time. There’s a level of uncertainty about what’s going to happen and how it’s going to happen and the next time you begin to look forward to it. But I do agree that anytime we think about self care right. We have to make it our own. So you have some people that like to go to nail salons and be in and out, but then you have some people that like that experience, but they want to be really pampered. They really want to enjoy their experience. They want to be served wine or water or whatever. And it’s the same thing with this. Yes, there is a method to what you’re doing in there, but you still get to create your own experience while you’re there with any of your self care. So I just want to remind you of that too. And you go in there with the mindset of what type of day that you want to have there. And ever since that first time of me getting passing anxiety of parallel parking, it’s been something great that I have been able to look forward to. Now, they do recommend doing it at least twice a month. If you work out a lot, they actually recommend doing it weekly and I can see why. Right. That would definitely help with your body. I actually don’t do it as much as I like to just because of the fact that I don’t live really close to it.

[40:31] Mercedes: Yeah, I want to say this as we close to really just drive in the fact that it is whatever experience. I told you all that I love water, I love playing in water. So I was, like, splashing the water around. Like, I was having child moments in there.

[40:47] Telanna: Okay.

[40:48] Mercedes: I was like, inner child. I was like, Let me flounder around. It was so fun just being weightless. So as much as I did take time to relax, I was like, look.

[40:57] Telanna: At the water, ma’am. Here’s my little disclaimer people. She wants to play like she’s Finding Nemo. Make sure you’re not floundering around so much that you burning your eyes out.

[41:10] Mercedes: Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. I forgot. Yeah. I did not splash my face. No, don’t do pool wave washing. But the way that the water like, the sound of the water is in there, like, it’s so cool. And the music, too. So cool. Yeah.

[41:30] Telanna: And they do provide you with a washcloth for your face if you still.

[41:36] Mercedes: Happen for your head, if you happen.

[41:39] Telanna: To get salt in your face, inner child.

[41:44] Mercedes: So hard that you splash it on the face.

[41:46] Telanna: Clearly, that’s not me. I follow rules. Follow rules.

[41:51] Mercedes: I didn’t burn my eyes at all. I just want you to know, I was very careful. Oh, my God.

[41:58] Telanna: And we needed those eyes.

[41:59] Mercedes: We did. And I, thankfully, did not actually have to parallel park.

[42:05] Telanna: No, but you would have been all right if you did, because I’ve traumatized you enough about that. So my own trauma has traumatized you enough about parallel.

[42:13] Mercedes: It has. But you know why? It’s because little towns with little city halls have little parallel parking that I had to get used to out here in rural Florida.

[42:23] Telanna: The problem is, I never drove in Bermuda. If I would have driven a car in Bermuda, I probably would be a pro.

[42:33] Mercedes: Oh, my God. In Bermuda, too. That’s, like, probably way worse. Goodness.

[42:37] Telanna: Exactly.

[42:40] Mercedes: Mommy. Well, I think we have told the Chasers the peeps out there about our flow eight experience. I loved it so much. Ten out of ten. We’ll definitely do that again. Maybe with Brandon and a buddy float. No. Just kidding. Are you okay over there? Whatever.

[43:00] Telanna: Very weird. Not that you all are just up in their butt naked. That’s not it. I wouldn’t want to float with anyone. I don’t know.

[43:15] Mercedes: Anyway. But Brandon does want to try it out, so we probably will, but just.

[43:20] Telanna: Makes me farts in the water.

[43:26] Mercedes: Yeah, because oh, my God. Because we went after brunch, we went after lunch, and we both had to fart, but apparently mine were, like, silent and not deadly. Apparently hers did some damage to her pod.

[43:51] Telanna: Must have been a terrible food at the restaurant that you took me to.

[43:54] Mercedes: Oh, my God.

[43:57] Telanna: Next time, take me to a better restaurant with better food.

[44:00] Mercedes: You know, that breaks away.

[44:03] Telanna: Hey, you stuck. You stepped in it.

[44:06] Mercedes: I did, but you stepped in it.

[44:09] Telanna: So I’m like, Whoa.

[44:10] Mercedes: And you man charted in a pot.

[44:12] Telanna: No, I’m just kidding.

[44:13] Mercedes: She didn’t chart. Apparently, I can’t eat where the white people eat, I think. No, we can’t go to Rollins college and eat there, apparently. Yeah.

[44:27] Telanna: That was not good.

[44:29] Mercedes: We did find it.

[44:30] Telanna: The pastries were good.

[44:32] Mercedes: The pastries were delicious.

[44:33] Telanna: The cappuccino was fantastic.

[44:35] Mercedes: Cappuccino?

[44:38] Telanna: Cappuccino.

[44:39] Mercedes: Can you the part that was killing me, mommy, is, like, everything was so well cooked. Like, it was cooked to perfection. No seasoning. No seasoning. No nothing season. I don’t even think it has salt and pepper. All right, Chasers. Well, thank you for joining us for this very special episode. We hope that you really enjoyed it. We hope that you go to a float and tell us how it was, and we’ll float with us. And relax your body, free your mind kind of stuff. Don’t take where you go.

[45:19] Telanna: No weed either. Oh, and don’t eat a heavy meal. Oh, and don’t have coffee.

[45:26] Mercedes: Weed actually might be good just, like, a little bit.

[45:31] Telanna: You think? I think it would I don’t know. I guess it relaxes.

[45:36] Mercedes: Yeah, because, I mean, you can’t, like.

[45:39] Telanna: It’S illegal in this state, so don’t do it. If you’re in Florida, go to Colorado.

[45:45] Mercedes: California.

[45:47] Telanna: We are not a lead friendly state or actually a not friendly state.

[45:54] Mercedes: Where are we going? Let’s go to Arizona. Are they okay with that? I just like Arizona.

[46:01] Telanna: I don’t think Arizona is okay.

[46:05] Mercedes: All right, we’ll figure out where to go.

[46:08] Telanna: Okay.

[46:08] Mercedes: Anywho, until next time, chaser got to go. Wish you the best in chasing your 100 goals. And mommy has to go probably because she has to pee. And we’ll see you next time, toodles.

[46:18] Telanna: I’m out. Bye bye.

[46:23] Mercedes: Bye.

[46:24] Telanna: Bye. Bye. Bye bye. See you next time.

The post Episode 4: Chasing Sensory Deprivation appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

Get ready to chase the soft life with the Chasing 100 Club! In this episode, hosts Telanna and Mercedes are joined by a Gen Z’er special guest, Trinitee to debunk the concept of the “soft life” and explore what it means to pursue a lifestyle of luxury, comfort, and relaxation with minimal stress and responsibilities.

With lots of banter and teasing between mother and daughters, the conversation covers everything from the definition of the soft life to the ways in which the trend has gained popularity on social media.

Don’t miss out on this hilarious and insightful episode, as the trio discusses their personal experiences with chasing the soft life and whether it’s a realistic goal for everyone. Make sure you stay tuned in because Mercedes is sharing her top strategies to join her on the Soft Life journey even if Telanna refuses to join her!

If you’re enjoying this podcast, send us a note of encouragement at ⁠hello@chasing100club.com⁠! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!

FREE DOWNLOAD FROM TELANNA:

Unlock Your Success: Master 6 Simple Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage and Channel Your Energy towards Your Goals

⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/_Self_Sabotaging_Habits_PMW⁠

FREE CAREER CLARITY CHAT WITH MERCEDES: ⁠https://calendly.com/mercedesswan/info ⁠

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/⁠

Show Transcript: ⁠⁠⁠

Order Do Nothing by Celeste Headlee: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach/list/1K2XQD3UGM4U6?linkCode=spc&tag=mercedesswan-20&domainId=influencer&asc_contentid=amzn1.ideas.1K2XQD3UGM4U6

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: ⁠https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about ⁠

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: ⁠https://www.mercedesswan.com/about⁠ —

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Chasing the Soft Life Transcription

Telanna: Let’s go. Let’s see what Mercedes got for us Trini

Trinitee: I only got a talking point.

Telanna: Debunk this soft life.

Mercedes: Oh, my god.

Trinitee: What if I just don’t talk the whole time?

Mercedes: This is so rude.

Telanna: You don’t want to talk because Mercedes is going to be talking about foolishness.

Mercedes: Ya’ll are so disrespectful to my soft lifestyle. Have a soft lifestyle. Shut up.

Telanna: Okay, so you’re Mercedes. I’m Telanna, and I have a special guest.

Mercedes: Are you ready?

Telanna: Our Gen Z is here with us now. Introduce yourself, woman.

Trinitee: You’re literally introducing me. Why would I introduce myself?

Telanna: Because it says trend.

Trinitee: All I’m saying is hello.

Telanna: This is the time where she signs in. Gen Z is here with us today.

Trinitee: Hello.

Telanna: Oh, my gosh. Do you need a drum roll?

Trinitee: You haven’t said my name yet.

Telanna: I was going to let you say your name, you’re grown girl.

Trinitee: No, I’m being introduced.

Mercedes: Welcome, Trinitee.

Telanna: Welcome.

Mercedes: Thank you.

Telanna: We are so honored to have you.

Mercedes: Here with us on the Tasty podcast. I would normally say it’s your favorite mother daughter duo, but it’s now your favorite mother daughter trio. Okay, so welcome back to the Chasing 100 Club podcast. We have a special guest, Trinitee, and today we are talking about chasing the soft life because this is one of my 100 biggest goals. Are you okay?

Telanna: Sorry. Excuse that.

Trinitee: Oh, no.

Mercedes: I thought you were actually coughing. Oh, my God. Because I thought your seasonal bronchitis was back. No, it turns out you was just being shady.

Telanna: Me? Of course not. Shady.

Mercedes: No, go ahead. Start us off strong because you’ve been talking trash this whole time.

Telanna: You know what? I would love to start us off strong, but I don’t even know what soft life is. Right. It sounds like kind of cheesy to me. Something that this generation made up just because they don’t want to do to do you know what I’m saying? So you don’t have to tell me what the false life is.

Mercedes: What is do? The do.

Telanna: They just don’t want to.

Mercedes: Please say people don’t want to work anymore. Please say it. Please say it.

Telanna: I don’t think that it’s that they don’t want to work. I think they’re trying to define what work is, but I just think it’s like it may be just going a little bit too far. It may not be all of you all. I say it may not be all of you all, but that’s true. Some people don’t want to work.

Mercedes: Oh, my God. Okay. All right.

Trinitee: Work anymore.

Telanna: Well, Trinitee said that you’ve been listening.

Mercedes: To your conservative politics a little bit too much.

Telanna: Mia Trinitee, you know what?

Mercedes: You know what? She is in Tallahassee. That is that’s all she can listen to on the news.

Telanna: He could be rubbing off on her, but I doubt that.

Mercedes: I don’t think that’s what’s happening. All right, so then maybe I found this nice, lovely dictionary.com definition of what the soft life is. And specifically, apparently, Dictionary.com has a slang dictionary now. Yeah.

Telanna: Wow. Check that out. So I can keep up with you all.

Mercedes: I got to keep up with me. Okay, so I’m going to read this point blank. According to Dictionary, soft life refers to a lifestyle of comfort and relaxation with minimal challenges or stress. Some people use the term in reference to a life that involves and is a product of wealth and luxury, while others interpret it as simply being a simplified life unburdened from stress and responsibilities. Can’t wait for you to chime in on that. The term is often used in reference to moments that achieve this ideal, even if one’s entire life does not, or in an aspirational statement about the kind of life that a person wants to live. Let’s try that again. The term is often used in reference to moments that achieve this ideal, even if one’s entire life does not, or in an aspirational statement about the kind of life a person wants to live. This term has a long history of use as a general phrase, but it gained mainstream attention in 2022 in relation to a social media trend especially popular among black TikTok users and is often used with the hashtag softlife. And that’s how you realize that I was chasing the soft life because you talk trash about my hashtags.

Telanna: Now I feel like this darn soft life is why I’m not having any grandchildren.

Mercedes: Oh, yeah. 100%.

Telanna: I can’t stand you all.

Mercedes: Yeah. Because that’s too much work. You can’t live a soft life with children running around.

Telanna: Yeah, you know what? You know what? I didn’t remember his name on TikTok, but you know what?

Mercedes: That was your choice, ma’am.

Telanna: Okay? That was my choice. That is true. That was my choice to bring life.

Mercedes: Give life, and I choose to do life differently with a dog and a fiance. Well, two dogs and a fiance. Yeah.

Telanna: Yes. So this self life sounds like it’s about chasing, leaving responsibility behind. You guys have some responsibility, but I can see now when you were reading the definition, I could definitely the first thing that popped into my head is, well, Dang, this is why I’m not having any grandchildren, because it’s too much responsibility.

Trinitee: Yes, it is.

Telanna: That makes me question either I was such a great parent that you all can live up to that, or I was just such a terrible parent that you all don’t want to try to.

Mercedes: It’s not even about the want to try to. I mean, it’s like, is that compatible with the life that you want to live? Are children compatible with the life? I mean, there’s plenty of people out there having children that that’s compatible with the life that they want to live.

Telanna: Yeah. Selfish.

Mercedes: Hell yeah. Okay, so here’s my thing on soft life, right? Yes. I did find it as part of discovering black girl luxury TikTok, which obviously inspires me. I want to be inspired and stay on black girl luxury TikTok. But I think one of the things for me that when I was first watching this is that often it kind of feels like chasing the soft life is something that’s not really accessible, because it’s like, okay, well, I can’t have a soft life unless I’m rich or I’m making six figures or I have a business and I’m certainly not there yet in many of those ways. But I still do choose to think that I’m pursuing those soft life. Right. I think there’s more ways that I can have a soft life in more areas of my life, but I choose to see it as a mindset or a mentality and something that allows me to live a certain lifestyle and therefore a better quality of life. So that’s really what I want to share today. I want to share more about the mindset of soft life, and then also at the end of this episode, share some strategies and things that I’ve implemented into my life that has helped me feel like I’m living a softer life. I can’t say that I’m living the full soft life to live a softer life and to share that with our.

Telanna: Chasers today, but let’s have it softy.

Mercedes: All right, well, we haven’t heard from Trinitee. What do you think about the soft life? Because we’ve obviously know what Mommy thinks about the soft life.

Trinitee: I get it. Thinking critically. I get it.

Mercedes: Right.

Trinitee: Is this working?

Mercedes: Yeah, we can hear you.

Trinitee: Anyways. I get it. To me, the soft life is where I only do the things that I choose to do. So my ideal soft life is if I want to go have a job, I have a job for fun. If I want to go on a run, it’s for fun. If I want to cook instead of eating out, cook instead of eating out, it’s for fun. Like, I’m making those choices myself. They’re not a necessity because I can always go eat out if I want to.

Telanna: Okay, you’re saying that your idea of a sauce life is thriving in the areas that you want to. So if you’re home and you’re having to cook because, let’s say, for instance, you cannot afford to eat out or something like that, that’s like, survival.

Trinitee: Yes. It’s not a soft life.

Telanna: Okay, I get that.

Mercedes: I do, too, because I think it’s, like, whether you think about luxury or a soft life or just lifestyle right. A lot of that does have to do with you feeling like you have the freedom to do what you want to do, how you want to do it, when you want to do it. And I think that’s definitely a part of living the soft life, because there’s, like, an ease to that. I think that’s a big part. And I also think that so much of the concept of luxury and leisure has to do with time. Like, how do you choose to spend your time and to what extent are you in control of how you use your time? That’s been my biggest takeaway from kind of the soft life mentality.

Telanna: Yeah, I mean, a lot of people have luxury, a lot of people have everything that they want and they’re still absolutely miserable. As always. I think that this goes back to you guys’generation looking at my generation, the generation before that and the boomers, my mom’s generation and even my grandmother’s generation, and just looking at it and thinking that we didn’t necessarily have choice because of society and how we were already shaped to have these certain rules. You know, that women do these things, men do these things. And I mean, you guys tell me, having looked at the things that I’ve done in my life comes from saying, okay, well, I don’t want to make those same choices that my mom did. To do certain things that I don’t want to just because she’s a woman. Or that’s what they said being a wife is supposed to do and be and all that good stuff.

Mercedes: I pause because I’m like, well, I’m just going to talk about the particular period in life that I think about when you said that maybe not what you were saying, but I’m going to put your business in the street. But if you want to put your own business in the street, you can. But anyway, I think about those times in life when you were working like all of those overtime hours at PRI. And I just feel like that was a very interesting period in life where I could certainly say that that could change the dynamic of what I see as balance and the freedom of time versus money and also how that could often be a challenge with considering the ability to even have a soft life, right? Like if you are trying to pay the bills, feed mount, that kind of thing. So certainly I can see things where time and money has been well limited in life about that particular period of time, but then also in life right now, I think about what I consider my standard of living that I’m very happy with right now. And what if I were to consider having a kid? That would be like, no, see, I’m already just kind of hitting a stage where I’m like, this is the level of comfort that I’m enjoying. I want to go up, I don’t want to incur additional expenses. So I do think that some of that being many ways in struggle has changed the decisions that I’ve made or what I choose to pursue. I think. So. I hope that makes sense.

Telanna: No, it does make sense. And it actually brings me to one of which I guess one of the issues issues is probably not the great the best word to do to say, but one of the issues with this whole soft life thing which to me. I get the part about you wanting to create this life that you love and you enjoy and always doing things that you enjoy. I absolutely get that. And in the back of my mind, I think, well, who the heck doesn’t want that? But the thing is, all of the challenges that I’ve had is those things shaped who I am that whole journey. And so I feel like some of this soft life is with all of this mess of saying, everybody gets a ribbon. Nobody gets a first place ribbon. Nobody gets a second place ribbon, nobody gets a third place. Everybody gets a participation ribbon. I feel like it gets jumbled all in all that altogether. So when I hear you talking about some of this soft life, I’m like, who wants to go through life with no challenges? That’s without challenges, it’s just so boring. It’s part of how you grow. It’s part of how you become. And I think that’s the part of this whole soft life I feel like people are looking for this perfect life and creating this perfect life when that does not exist.

Mercedes: So I will say that I think that, well, one, this is all a mindset thing. So I think that thinking like that is actually like a mindset of lack. Like, it’s a limiting belief. And the reason that I think that is is because everything that we see or see as a challenge in life, it’s only a challenge because you defined it as such.

Telanna: Exactly. You know, that I agree with that wholeheartedly, you know what I mean? Everything to me is an opportunity for me to either learn, for me to see myself in a different perspective, for me to figure out, I guess you could say what I’m made of, so I absolutely see that that’s possible. So when I say challenge, I’m not saying it to say that everything that is supposed to be hard. Say that again.

Mercedes: No, I was saying are you saying that you don’t associate a challenge with a negative thing?

Telanna: No, I don’t.

Mercedes: Okay.

Telanna: No, exactly. So when I think of challenge, I don’t think of it as a negative, but it’s like you said, I feel like when people talk about this soft life and they think about challenges from a negative perspective and say, I don’t want any challenges. I don’t want any problems in my life. And I think that by trying to live like that, you miss out on so much of who you’re really supposed to be and the things that you’re supposed to do and how you interact with other people.

Mercedes: Okay. Yeah, I get that. So I think that to any kind of philosophy or mantra like way of being right, there is kind of like a surface version of that, and there’s like a doing the work version of that. You know what I’m saying? So I think in terms of soft life. There could be a surface version of that is I have a challenge, right, which you may or may not see as a negative thing. I think calling a challenge as a negative thing, but I’m not trying to get like we get stuck in semantics a lot, so I’m not going to. But what I’m saying is that you could have a challenge that comes up, and you don’t want to address it. You want to believe that it’s not a challenge. You don’t want to address it. So you’re like, I’m living the soft life, so I don’t have challenges in my life. So you don’t actually do the work, you don’t consider those things. I think the difference here, and at least that’s what I’m cultivating in myself about the soft life is that these things, whether you call them challenges, may come up, and they may be what we stereotypically think of a challenges or not stereotypically, but typically whatever. But it’s kind of like this ability to still be seeking pleasure in the process or to still be seeking that kind of internal peace or softness, like being able to still remain in your character and moving with it as you would in a journey. Because so much of seeing that as a negative thing, whether it’s a challenge or not, is being able to still be at peace no matter where you are. And I think you can do the same thing and go at it with a soft life mentality or a hustle mentality or a different mentality or victim or whatever you want it. There’s so many different ways to look at that. But that’s why I think it’s more the better way to think of it as a mindset rather than it is of kind of what you were saying, of like, there are no challenges in life. There’s nothing that bad that happens. There obviously is, but it’s how you address it and how you that your lifestyle allows you to I get it.

Telanna: You all just be killing me. Just say you’re going to have a peaceful life.

Mercedes: Well, no, because yes, but no, okay.

Telanna: Because that part leaves out the luxury.

Mercedes: Yes, but I feel like if anything.

Telanna: You have to define it for yourself, just like people have to define what success means to them. I just crack up at all these different labels that this TikTok generation, Twitter generation.

Mercedes: I do think that is the piece. I think that is why soft life is associated with the luxury, also associated with quiet luxury is also kind of associated I didn’t realize this until recently with quiet quitting, which.

Telanna: How did that work out? Oh, I’m sorry. What was I supposed to say?

Mercedes: Well, I think it kind of has to do with some of the strategies that I’m going to talk about because per my Wall Street Journal quote, okay, people think that quiet quitting is about just not doing your job where it really is more around setting workplace boundaries about acceptable work conditions or workload imbalance.

Telanna: So what you’re trying to say is that it’s not about being lazy?

Mercedes: No, soft life is not about being lazy. No, not the soft life and quiet quitting.

Telanna: Yeah, quiet quitting. No, I was just throwing that in there because I know that in the beginning when the whole quiet quitting thing came out, a lot of people were saying it was about people not wanting to work.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: So I just wanted to throw that out there because I support you all.

Mercedes: Why? We have this whole millennial thing of, like, I think millennials have just had enough, and we’re like, no, we’re setting these boundaries. We have the soft life. We have quiet quitting. We have work life balance. We’re just turning it around.

Telanna: I think that’s great. So now you guys just need to get it down to four days, and then can we also get that? Which country does the shutdown for, like, fiestas?

Mercedes: Yes. You all need to work.

Telanna: Those next.

Mercedes: Well, I mean, it’s like the same thing as lunch is just longer.

Telanna: Yeah, but we want it to be something that’s statewide countrywide. We want it to be law. They’re making all these other stupid laws. The least they can do is throw in this one. Sorry.

Mercedes: I’m not even sure millennials would even be like, cool. I feel like we would be like, we want to work whenever we want, unless there’s a business need to not do that. I think that’s a different mentality. You’re like, no, I want my employer to give me 2 hours in the middle of the day to work or.

Telanna: Not to work or not work.

Mercedes: Sorry, but millennials are like, I don’t know. Give me a project and tell me how you want it done and when you want it done, and I’ll make sure it’s done at that time and how, when and where I work has nothing to do with that. You want a project that’s completed, so.

Telanna: You all just want to absolutely, totally disrupt the system.

Mercedes: I think that’s what is Trinitee?

Telanna: Trinitee?

Mercedes: Gen Z. I think that’s what Gen Z wants to do. I think millennials just want flexibility. Go ahead, Trinitee. Tell us what Gen Z wants. What do you all want? Is she even here?

Telanna: I don’t know. Did she check out on us?

Mercedes: Think so.

Telanna: She on TikTok.

Mercedes: Trinitee. I swear she’s gone to sleep. I’m going to scream.

Telanna: Then start screaming because she answering you. It’s that soul life girl.

Mercedes: Oh, my.

Telanna: Wow.

Mercedes: Okay. She said that she is seeking peace and pleasure and rest and leisure.

Telanna: I am taking my rest now.

Trinitee: All right.

Telanna: We weren’t paying her for being a gas.

Mercedes: You already paid her. Girl.

Telanna: I sure did. I got to stop paying these kids before they follow through. Okay, Mercedes, so you have been nice enough to, of course, catch me up, as always with this new terminology so I’m not looking crazy, but what made you decide to implement this? Was there something that happened in your life that said, you know what? My goal is to move towards a soft life?

Mercedes: I think it was just really overwhelming stress and goals in my life. I know that Mommy has heard many a times. You have heard many a times when I was leaving work and just, like, rough, like crying in the car rough.

Telanna: Struggle is real rough.

Mercedes: The struggle is so real rough. Like, go to a psychiatrist and become Alexa Pro girly rough. You’re like, is that too much information for the Internet?

Telanna: No, the Internet can know whatever you want to tell them.

Mercedes: Anyway. I’m very apologetic, unapologetic about sharing about my mental health anywho. So I don’t know, consider, is this the way that life has to be in order to accomplish your goals? You know what I’m saying? Do I have to be bent out of shape, stressed out, crying, worked up, can’t sleep, racing thoughts, going to a therapist because I can’t manage, and having mental breakdowns on an air mattress in the living room while Brandon, my fiance, stares at me? In order to live and achieve the amount of success that I would like to achieve in my life, the answer had to be no. But it took me having what I would really call a mental breakdown, during which I had clinical depression and anxiety and was diagnosed with ADHD to have the realization that this wasn’t going to work for me. And I had to figure out, how can I still achieve the life that I want to live and live the lifestyle that I want? Which does include luxury, right? And having the type of money and freedom to do so. How can I still achieve those goals without feeling this way? Because it’s your point, like what you were saying earlier, of, well, a lot of people have luxury, but they’re not happy. Anyway, all of that being said is when I had to figure out how can I continue to pursue the goals that I have and live the life that I want or create the life that I want to? Hey there.

Mercedes: It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show notes love. All right, let’s get back to the episode.

Mercedes: Trinitee is not asleep. She is having technical difficulties, and she’s back.

Telanna: Say, hi, Trinitee. Hi.

Trinitee: You accused me of being asleep. We did.

Telanna: You said that was part of your that we just assume you went to sleep.

Trinitee: But I did not go to sleep.

Telanna: We appreciate your commitment to being here today.

Mercedes: Thank you. Okay, Mommy. So I answer your first question. What’s your second question?

Telanna: Your second question was what different type of strategies? So when you decided, hey, this is something that I want to implement in my life, how did you go from point A to point B of creating this soft life for yourself? Do you have certain tools that you use, certain habits that you created for yourself? Give us the goods.

Mercedes: Yeah, I think a lot of it came from more mindset work or, like, how I viewed things. So I was telling you earlier, you can view something as a challenge, or you can view it as part of a journey. And so I think one of the things that I was doing in my life, our first episode, was chasing dopamine. If you haven’t watched that, go watch it, because it does relate to that of the idea of seeking pleasure. But I also think the other piece of that is like, seeking ease. So a lot of times where I felt like I was in the middle of feeling like I was hustling or pushing myself or that I was no longer enjoying what I was doing, I would actually just stop, and I would ask myself, why am I not enjoying this? Why do I feel this way? And is it because I’m not using the route of less stress or more ease? Or is it because of the mindset that I have going at it right? Like, is there a certain viewpoint of what I’m trying to do that’s actually impacting how I feel about it?

Telanna: Give it to us.

Mercedes: Trying to think of, like, a recent example.

Telanna: Well, while you’re thinking about that, I would say I like that you said that, because I think, of course, when I started doing this, I didn’t think of it in terms of the soft life, but I thought of it in terms of really creating what I wanted to see in my life. So, of course, when you talk about mindset, I feel like so many people talk about all sorts of things, like the habits you have, the actions you take, all of these things. But you just got to get your mind right, because that’s what battle is in your mind. And so for me, one of the things that I decided to do and I actually do this on a daily basis, I do this throughout the day. And I’m constantly asking myself, how do I want to choose to experience whatever I’m doing? So when I wake up, how do I want to choose to experience this day? Because it’s exactly what you said. Everything that we’re doing, everything that we’re saying to ourself, everything that’s going on in our mind is a story, and we have a choice about the story that we create in our mind and how that plays out in our reality. And so it’s very telling if you’re saying you want a soft life in your head, but it’s not what you see. It’s creating that awareness. Like you said, stop yourself. Don’t keep going down that little rabbit hole doing the same thing, expecting that you’re going to get different results. It’s creating that awareness and really having the courage to stop and acknowledge and say, you know what? This isn’t what I want. I want something different. I’m working towards this soft life.

Mercedes: Yeah. Are you moving over to the Soft Life game?

Telanna: No, I’m not moving over to that foolishness. I’m just joking.

Mercedes: Oh, my God.

Telanna: No, it’s not moving over to the Soft Life. I feel like that’s just already who I am. One of these things, constantly putting labels on things. But you should know that I decided long time ago that I was only doing whatever I wanted to do, and I’m absolutely against this hustle life to begin with.

Mercedes: Well, that’s why I was feeling like that you should have been like, yes, I know you don’t like the labels, but definitely on the Soft Life bandwagon because it really is the opposite of hustle culture.

Telanna: Well, yeah, and I mean, I wasn’t always like this, right?

Mercedes: Because you don’t work at the end.

Telanna: Like, you had to work if you wanted anything in life. You had to work hard, and you had to do the thing that everybody was doing, and you had to if if you were resting, you know something was wrong with you, if you wasn’t utilizing every single hour of every single day to work or if you were constantly doing all the things. And that is just not who I am anymore because I’ve learned that it’s so important to listen to not only what you need mentally, but physically, too. Listening to our bodies. So many people ignore what their bodies are telling them. And so, yeah, this whole Soft Life thing, it’s not a bad thing. It’s who I am. But this whole Soft Life label, it’s funny. I just feel like as I always do with these type of labels, it’s just life. It’s just creating a life that you love and that you enjoy and one that you feel absolutely aligned with. For me, it’s not called the Soft Life. It would be called living intentionally.

Mercedes: Okay, so you’re joining hashtag Soft Life and you.

Telanna: No, ma’am. Okay. Because there are many elements in that little Soft Life thing that. Ain’t right. However, I do believe in living intentionally. And in order to live intentionally, you have to figure out what you want, figure out the things that bring you joy. And we’re not talking about where the money resides, where the peace resides.

Mercedes: We want money and peace. Okay. Yeah.

Telanna: Hey, y’all. Mama Telanna here. Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it? Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose Minded Woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back. Okay. To help you get started, I created a free resource. Six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps you can take to take action and control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available at purposemindderwoman.com.

Mercedes: It I did think of, like, a good example, so I have I gave you enough time? You did give me so much time. I’m also going to ask Trinitee how she’s been pursuing the soft life if her audio works.

Trinitee: I have not. Oh, okay.

Mercedes: She is not doing the soft life.

Telanna: Go to sleep.

Mercedes: Soft life. Courtesy of Telanna Jeffers. Yes.

Trinitee: I like that. That is my soft life. I digress.

Mercedes: You do?

Telanna: I just want to go to bed.

Mercedes: Okay. So I will say that one of the things that was that huge shift and definitely counter, like, hustle culture for me was I would feel like in my business, like I didn’t make enough sales this week, or I didn’t have enough leads or even made the type of milestones that I want, whether it was, like, a piece of content, like, maybe I didn’t get the amount of views that I want or the number of followers or growth. I was not hitting some milestone. And so I would kind of have all this built up anxiety about that, and then I’d kind of get stuck in the cycle of freaking out about, oh, I haven’t done this, and I’m not going to get this, whatever that milestone was. And I realized that me getting stuck in that very anxious and I do think it’s like, a lack mentality of, oh, I haven’t gotten enough or haven’t done enough right. And also, like, the fear and worry of not accomplishing said things like, oh, my gosh, if I don’t have this many new clients this week, then I’m not going to be able to pay for, I don’t know, my Kajabi subscription or whatever. So I think one of the things that I realized is that me stressing out about all of those things I didn’t accomplish actually negatively impacted my ability to do that. So I was getting so worked up about what I need to do in my business, this and that, that it was actually so draining to me that I would just not be able to work on it and do it. And the moment that I stopped saying I don’t care how many followers I have today or how well this video does, or how many info sessions or clarity calls I have, I’m not going to focus on that and allow that to impact my mindset. I’m going to keep doing the work and enjoy the work because I do love coaching and what I do for my business and inspiring women to pursue their career dreams, their career soft life. But I have had more success with viewing it that way and not actually caring at all about the other stuff where I’m just like my mantra right now is just, it will come. Like, I’m doing the work, so they will come.

Telanna: Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

Mercedes: No, I just said it’s been freeing too.

Telanna: Yeah. So I was going to ask you just to speak on that a little bit because I feel like sometimes it’s difficult to see if you’re not getting the traction that you want is because you’re actually not doing the work. And so how do you draw that balance for someone who might be getting frustrated with their business or getting frustrated with their career journey? How do you look at it and say, I am doing the work. The work. But is it enough? Because what I heard you say, right, is that you realize that you’re not going to be tied to the outcome. You’re going to enjoy the journey because you know in your heart and your mind that what you’re doing is the work. But then at the same time, I know that there is also this struggle where you could think that you’re doing the work yeah. And you’re actually not. So have there been times as well for you where maybe you weren’t doing the work and you were experiencing the same feeling? No, I’m trying to figure out how to help somebody differentiate between yeah.

Mercedes: So I think the interesting thing here is like the attachment to the thing. So, for instance, I still log in every single day and I look at how much money I made. I record that. I look at my social media metrics and I update my metrics and I look at how many calls I’ve had. So I still look at the same data every single day. In one case, I have an attachment to what that means for my future, what that means about me, what that means about everything. Like whether I’ll be able to actually live a life of luxury, the life of luxury that I would like to live. Right. Because it’s different. But for me, one day a year ago, looking at that data meant to me, oh, wow, I had one follower today I am a failure. And one is like, oh, wow, there’s one follower today. Cool. And I mean, it’s not like I can’t necessarily say it doesn’t mean that me getting 500 followers a day wouldn’t be something that I’d be like, wow, that’s amazing. But it’s just I don’t have the attachment to what my future is and what’s going to happen based on that. I think that somebody who’s in a similar situation as me of trying to grow and learn, you have to look at that information, the points. Right. Like, you have to be able to say, okay, I made this effort with my social media or my business or in my career, and this led to X outcome and know that doing that same thing will lead to similar outcomes. Because now I’ve seen that, okay, I know if I make these types of posts, if I share this type of message with my audience, I have these calls. So I don’t have to worry anymore. That whether or not I do them, like, if I do them, whether or not there will be calls. I don’t know if that makes sense. I know that I figured out A leads to B, so I can enjoy A without worrying about B because I know that it will come. I don’t know if that helps.

Telanna: No, I think you clarified it. I think it’s like you said, if you’re doing the work, you’ll eventually see the progress, but you’re not going into it and making something that is not necessarily in your control, a part of your identity.

Mercedes: Yeah, exactly. It’s the meaning, as with anything.

Telanna: Right. You can have good days and you can have bad days, but at the core of it, you still know that you’re doing the things that you need to do and it’s just another day. And so it’s like I said, you’re not attached to the outcome. You’ve made a decision to enjoy the journey.

Mercedes: Yes.

Telanna: Okay, cool.

Mercedes: Okay, so we have had a time talking about Soft Life. I’m glad you’re still here. Trinitee, anything that else that you so I want to share with our audience things that I think will help them pursue the Soft Life if they want to be hashtag Soft Life with me. So, Trinitee, before I do that, is there anything else you want to say about the Soft Life?

Trinitee: Don’t be afraid to take naps.

Mercedes: That’s very good.

Trinitee: I think that’s great.

Mercedes: And.

Trinitee: Try to be healthy, I guess, and do things that bring you joy.

Mercedes: Amen.

Trinitee: Okay.

Telanna: I think that’s great because I don’t take naps.

Trinitee: You should.

Mercedes: You don’t take naps because you just go to sleep.

Telanna: That’s true. And my body definitely works. But that’s part of my if you want to talk about okay, so just for now, I’ll let I’ll let you call it my soft life. And because that is definitely a part of my soft life is my circadian rhythm has to be on point. Like, I need to be able to get my sleep. It’s one of the most important things to me.

Mercedes: So here are a couple of strategies that I think from my viewpoint, and you all could let me know if you all have questions. Okay, here’s a couple of strategies that I think can help you pursue the soft life. So, number one, if you feel like you have limiting beliefs, which we all have, one thing that’s helpful for that is journaling. And so when things come up for you that is something that you feel like is not in alignment with the soft life, then you can journal about it. But here are some things that here are some prompts that I think could get you started. So the first one is, and I think, mommy, that you should journal on some of these too. Okay, since you feel like you’re not part of soft life gang. So one is, why do you think it has to be hard to receive what you want? Number two, why can’t it get better than it already is? And number three, why do you think struggling is a badge of honor? Any thoughts on that?

Telanna: I don’t think any of those things. She said, mommy needs to journal on them. I’m like, I don’t think any of those.

Mercedes: Okay, all right, fine.

Telanna: I don’t like that. You don’t like that?

Mercedes: Well, because you started off okay, well, you started off this whole thing talking about that people don’t want to work and that men don’t want to work, so so I think I think that you still have some of that, but that’s really, like, what do you think about it?

Trinitee: That’s not even what she said. She didn’t say people don’t want to.

Telanna: Work in that way.

Trinitee: She said people don’t want to work.

Mercedes: They don’t want to work for the man.

Trinitee: They want to work for themselves.

Telanna: I appreciate you.

Trinitee: I can have a job and technically work for somebody and still be working for myself.

Telanna: You want more autonomy and contracting whatever.

Mercedes: Number two is taking the path of least resistance or operating in flow. So there’s always an opportunity to feel like a task is hard or it’s easy. And I think in that case, whichever you believe is true. And so in order for you to pursue this life of ease, you should also feel like you’re on the path of least resistance, that you’re in flow, and you’re going through the journey, and you’ll feel much better about the journey to get to the result that you want.

Telanna: You can believe the task is hard or it’s easy, whichever you believe is true. I feel like this is one of those things with affirmations. So at the time that you’re saying this, it’s absolutely no way that you’re going to take something that you feel is hard and say, oh, it’s easy, and believe yourself in saying that. And so one of the things that may help you if you feel like you’re doing this is to say, I’m in the process of making this easy. Or I’m in the middle of that. Because it might be a lot easier for your mind to comprehend that you’re in the middle of shifting from something that you view as hard to figuring out how you can see. It as being easy and figuring out and really leaning into what is going to allow you to have or do or be as you’re going through that. And I think, like you said, that’s where the flow comes from. That’s where breaking the resistance comes from, seeing your future self outside of what you think is hard. So I just wanted to throw that in there because I think sometimes it can just be hard in itself to say things that you just don’t believe.

Mercedes: Yeah, and I think a part of that too, because if you don’t fully believe that that thing that you feel like is hard could be easy, then you don’t look for the easier route. You know what I’m saying? So if you have a goal to accomplish I don’t know, like, for me, right, I’ve gone through many things just feeling like doing my social media is hard, content creation is just hard. But I didn’t look at different avenues for things that fit me and my goals in my business, for things that could be more easy. And now that I’m more open to that, I have a different way of doing my content that makes it much more functioning and enjoyable for me.

Telanna: Yeah, I like that. And I also would like to add to that too, because one of the things that I just thought about was for me too, I feel like social media at some times can feel hard. It felt hard for me in the beginning. And I will say that sometimes when things feel hard for you, it’s also a sign that something’s not in alignment preach. And I will also say that if it feels hard, what are you really focusing on? Because for me, social media got really easy when I realized it wasn’t about me. So it’s about how I serve my audience, how I bring value to my audience. And when you look at it from that perspective, even now, when I said that, I felt my body, certain things and my body shift because I get excited about the idea of serving my clients. So there’s a reframe for everything, right, that we do and how we do it. So if that resistance is coming and it feels hard, are you putting too much of the eye in there and making it too much about you instead of really what it’s creating for you?

Mercedes: Well, you know how I think you could put your eye in there, but it’s like, is the eye what you want?

Telanna: Because if the eye is not what you want exactly. That’s a whole nother thing in itself. My wants and my shoulds, that’s a whole another.

Mercedes: Because what you wanted in that situation is to serve and help people. Right. You didn’t want it to be like self serving about you creating media and you being in the spotlight. Right. So in the same way of whether it was hard or not and being in alignment, it is so much of seeing it as a different pathway to getting to what it is that you want.

Telanna: Oh, yeah, exactly. Because when you see what you’re creating, it just allows you to break through even quicker. Because at the end of the day, it’s not really about the post and the scheduling and all of that stuff. It’s what comes out of it that actually builds your intrinsic motivation to push through it.

Mercedes: Yes. I love when people write on my comment on my post. They’re like, that’s what I need to hear today.

Telanna: Yeah, exactly.

Mercedes: Right.

Telanna: I’m like, praise the Lord.

Mercedes: Amen. I need to hear it too.

Telanna: Sorry.

Mercedes: Okay, so the next one is setting boundaries. I feel like this is a huge one because when you continue to allow the influence of others and you don’t set a boundary, that takes you out of that soft life mentality. I genuinely think this about my paternal grandmother, right. Where we had a stage where I had to just say, these are the conversations that I am willing to have with you. These are the conversations that I am not willing to have with you because the energy that you are coming into my life with in these XYZ forms are not allowing me to be in the mindset of happiness and joy and peace that I would like to be in. I can talk to you and have these conversations with you because they allow me to have the type of relationship that I want to have with you of leisure or being at peace or joy or happiness. Those two things are possible. But even though that’s what you feel that you need for me to have those conversations, I can’t provide those to you for my own lifestyle and my own well being. And so I had to set those boundaries with her, but I also had to set those boundaries with me to say, this is not something that you are going to engage in, to say this is not acceptable, and to hold myself accountable for the boundaries that I said I had put up. And unfortunately, right. That other person, my paternal grandmother, cannot meet those boundaries. And so therefore, we don’t speak. But there’s so many it has limited the extent to which that energy or her influence in that relationship has disrupted my piece.

Telanna: Yeah, I mean, that’s sad. That that’s something that you have to experience. Right. Because people want their grandparents in their life. But at the same time, I think it’s like you said, so many people struggle with this idea of boundaries because they want to be loved, they want to be accepted, they want to be liked. And creating these boundaries for yourself, like you not speaking to your paternal grandmother, takes courage. Yeah.

Mercedes: And it also flies in the face of values for me.

Telanna: Well, I was just going to say that that one of the things that happened that people don’t understand about boundaries. It is that it is your personal integrity. It is your commitment to yourself. Right. So we’re quick to honor our commitments to other people, but we don’t honor our own personal commitment and integrity to ourselves and our own choices. Like, boundaries are about you honoring your boundaries, somebody else isn’t. And so I think if people saw it more as a commitment to yourself, to yourself, they would probably exercise it more. But I think people just think of it in terms of boundaries. Oh, I’m telling this person what I want, and that person gets to make the choice whether or not they want to honor my boundary. And if they don’t choose to honor my boundary, well, then I guess I just don’t have that boundary. And that’s not the way it works.

Mercedes: Yeah, it’s like the way it’s supposed to work. Well, I feel like people who don’t have functioning boundaries feel like that’s the way they work.

Telanna: Exactly.

Mercedes: There is an action. So my action is for those who especially if you struggle with boundaries, it’s like I’ve communicated what my boundary is. If you cannot respect that boundary, then my action is to not speak or respond to you.

Telanna: Right, exactly.

Mercedes: I will respond if you are willing to have question A or conversation A, but not conversation B. Right. Because it’s something I control. And honestly, that is the biggest part of understanding boundaries. And that’s why I’m quite literally unbothered at this point. Right. Because I understand that. But that one was a huge one for me to learn, which, what am I, like, two years into that journey my whole life? That one boundary. Oh, my gosh. Transformational. But that being said, those types of boundaries, that’s not just for family. People don’t think about workplace boundaries, people don’t think about business boundaries. People don’t think about relationship, like husband, wife, boyfriend, whatever, boundaries. There’s a boundary in any type of relationship that you have. Yeah.

Telanna: And we should have them have it.

Mercedes: Okay, number three is to fill your is this three?

Telanna: Three?

Mercedes: Oh, no, it’s four.

Telanna: Sorry.

Mercedes: Number four is to fill your cup. So I think one of the really great things about soft life and part of that being leisure and luxury is sometimes we talked about this again. This is definitely like a reoccurring theme of like you have to work to fill yourself up first and then that’s when these other avenues for success or helping others or fulfilling your purpose or your goals, that’s where those things can come into alignment for you. And so whatever that looks like for you of pursuing ease, leisure or luxury to help you feel better about your life or your experience and what you’re doing and the soft, I guess, mentality that’s going to help you be able to experience that soft life in other areas of life. Right? Number five is accept help. I feel like there’s this research that’s going on that shares that there is a large amount of impact on somebody’s happiness based on genetics. Did you know that?

Telanna: No.

Mercedes: So that, you know, like basically when you’re doing you know, when you’re running statistics, you’re able to kind of look at to what extent was the outcome influenced by a set of variables. And that could be like age or gender or everything. And it’s something like 40 something percent of happiness is impacted by genetics. And the interesting thing is that you don’t really know is it actually genetics. For instance, if you put there may be some research, but I couldn’t find it. If you put a baby in a different setting without their birth family genetically, is their level of happiness impacted by their genes or based on their environment? But anyway, there’s a lot of research that shows like, genetics does impact your ability to be happy. And I also thought that that was really interesting when we kind of talk about the aspect of generational trauma and also specifically for black women, what that has looked like. And layered on top of that, not just family expectations of black women not being able to live the soft life and also how society deems whether or not black women should be able to live the soft life. Because I think that’s like a two fold thing and I think that’s why that is so much of a trend for black girl TikTok or black girl luxury because it’s not something that is ingrained in our way of being and living from childhood. And when I talk about our story of how we started about with you and all of your overtime work at PRI and everything like that when I was growing up anyway, I just thought it was a very interesting piece of understanding the dynamic that often black women are supporting and helping others and so they are not allowed the same amount of ease or peace or rest that others are able to. And so that whole rant takes me to number five, which is to accept help. Because I feel like with that independent Black woman feel that many Black women have had to take on because of circumstances or life or even just what was expected from a generational or societal piece, that Black women don’t feel like they can be helped or accept help.

Telanna: Yeah, I mean, I definitely think that that’s something that’s generational that probably goes all the way back to slavery. And so, as you know, with any type of generational trauma that stays with you, it stays in your DNA, and it has to be broken, and it has to be I don’t want to say remapped, but I think every generation either continues that or they make it a point to do something different. And I think each generation is chipping a bit more off of that, you know what I’m saying? Which I think is fantastic because I just can’t imagine just being a woman back in slavery times and not having your husband there. That’s how you were shaped. That’s who you had to become. And so, yeah, I think it’s just one of these things. And so I love that. That’s something that I think especially from millennials, they’ve picked up that mantle even more to say, okay, it’s okay to ask for help, because true, I feel like for me, too, it’s one of these things where, as you would say, I’m always going to figure it out. And I think I always know how to figure out things because I’ve had to figure it out because I haven’t asked for help.

Mercedes: Yeah, you don’t like asking for help.

Telanna: I’m learning. Be quiet.

Mercedes: Yeah, but you’d be having the attitude like, I shouldn’t have to ask for help.

Telanna: Wow. Praise the Lord.

Mercedes: Anyway, here’s my out of pocket statement for today. My version of Reparations is that I ask my white fiance for help all the time, and I accept his help. That’s my unhinged statement for today. I’m just trying to balance the tides. Did you mute yourself? I’m trying to get my own Reparations up in here. He’s doing great. Reparations.

Telanna: I know how that man puts up. If you look ahead, I don’t know.

Mercedes: How it does either. Okay, so here’s our last one. Practice doing nothing or taking your time. This has been, I think, the number one strategy that has helped me kind of overcome that. Because to your point earlier, you were saying, like when you are so ingrained in that hustle culture, got to do this, got to get that done or my dreams aren’t going to happen or my goal is not going to come or it’s not going to be completed. You choosing to do nothing or choosing to take your time doing something at leisure helps you actively start to challenge those ideas. So for me, getting up and leaving my desk and just sitting outside in the garden and saying it is okay to be at leisure, it is okay to be at rest, it is okay to enjoy these moments in life has been the biggest thing that has made this acceptable and normalized, to live this soft life.

Telanna: I think for me, that’s been a big thing, too. Just really being aware and not ignoring it. Really being okay with just not always having to push through just for the heck of it, because it’s what I’ve always done. I think I’ve been leaning into that a lot where I’ve just like, I don’t feel like doing anything and it’s okay for me not to want to do anything. I absolutely do not have to be on all the time and practicing that of doing nothing. I’ve been just sitting, sitting still. I’ve been doing some breath work, which is nice, and just being quite content with just doing nothing. And I cannot remember maybe we’ll put it in the show notes. I actually read the book doing nothing.

Mercedes: Oh, nice.

Telanna: Okay, we should yeah, we’ll put it in the show notes for you.

Mercedes: Yeah, because honestly, out of everything that I’ve talked about, tips wise or strategies wise, I think that is really the most impactful thing, it seems. So just do nothing. Just take your time doing something that isn’t work. Hobbies, going for a walk. It’s amazing. Shift some things inside of you. I did it today and I felt so much happier after that. Like I can’t even just existing. It’s kind of cool. It’s kind of crazy.

Telanna: Yeah. I think because we’ve been so taught to think that when we choose to do those things that it’s a waste of time and that it’s not meaningful and that it’s not adding value to our lives. Which is why so many people, when they’re considering their goals, when they’re considering their days, when they’re mapping them out, they don’t include it. Like they leave those things for last. When in actual fact, those type of things should be put into your schedule first. Because that way you’re always making sure that you’re creating the space in your life to replenish yourself. And you’re not doing it from a place where you’re in survival mode. It just becomes really who you are and how you choose to live. And so if you’ve been doing it the other way, I want to really encourage you to start planning life around these things, doing nothing, taking the time to add more joy and value into your life by doing the hobbies, going for the walks, doing those things. Because then that leads back into the other things too, where you’re filling your cup. It’s still a part of filling your cup. Giving yourself permission to do nothing high level, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful thing and not question yourself and not be there thinking that I could be doing this. And start small. Like if you can’t think of saying, okay, I’m just going to give myself 20 minutes not to do anything. If that’s too much for you. And you’re just like, there’s no way I can just sit here for 20 minutes and not do a dark thing. Start with five, start with somewhere. And it doesn’t even have to be we’re like, I’m going to meditate or I’m going to. Do breath work. Just be and whatever comes from that comes from it. Not everything has to be scripted out. Just be.

Mercedes: Gen Z, come back. We can’t hear you.

Telanna: Technical difficulties. Gen Z. I feel like she’s having technical difficulties because she’s falling asleep with her phone.

Mercedes: You think that’s true? Oh, my gosh.

Telanna: And it’s underneath her.

Mercedes: She sounded so awake.

Telanna: But it don’t take much.

Mercedes: That’s true. All right, I think we’re wrapping up without doing.

Telanna: We are.

Mercedes: All right.

Telanna: It’s nice having you with us, Trinitee. We appreciate you.

Mercedes: You dropped some nuggets, I will say that. Hello. Were you actually asleep this time?

Trinitee: Yes, I’m asleep. My eyes were closed.

Mercedes: I feel less bad about talking trash about you last time. Well, Trinitee, say goodbye to the people. All right, so thanks for joining us, Chasers, for this episode of the Chasing 100 podcast. We enjoyed sharing so much about the Soft Life and we’ve also inducted Talana officially into the Soft Life Club. And until next time, we wish you much success in chasing your biggest 100 goals. And I’m not going to give her enough time to rebuke. What? I’m ending the podcast right now. Have a good evening. Goodbye, New York. Bye.

The post Episode 3: Chasing the Soft Life appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.

Summary

Have you ever stopped to consider that having less stuff could actually lead to a better life? In this episode, we explore the concept of minimalism and how it has transformed our lives. We’re Telanna and Mercedes, two non-minimalists turned de-clutterers who are now chasing MORE MEMORIES and LESS THINGS.

Join us as we share our personal journey towards minimalism, including the struggles we faced and the strategies we implemented to make it happen. From sentimental items to everyday clutter, we discuss the challenges of letting go and how it ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life!

But it’s not all serious talk! We also take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about some of our favorite family moments and why minimalism has become one of our 100 goals. Plus, we share some heartwarming mother-daughter moments that we hope will inspire you.

Whether you’re just starting out on your minimalist journey or looking for new insights, we hope this episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated.

Don’t forget to drop us a line at hello@chasing100club.com to let us know your thoughts – we’d love to hear from you!

FREE DOWNLOAD FROM TELANNA:

Unlock Your Success: Master 6 Simple Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage and Channel Your Energy towards Your Goals

https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/_Self_Sabotaging_Habits_PMW

FREE CAREER CLARITY CHAT WITH MERCEDES:

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/

Tidying up with Marie Kondo: https://www.netflix.com/watch/80209379?source=35

Chasing 100 Club Shop: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: https://www.mercedesswan.com/about — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Transcription

Telanna: Because I don’t want you to get to be 50 years old and have very few memories. Yeah, well, you know, I’m kind of wimpy. I know, everybody.

Mercedes: You’re getting old and sentimental.

Telanna: You. Hey, Chasers. I’m Telanna.

Mercedes: And I’m Mercedes. And it’s your favorite mother daughter duo.

Mercedes: And welcome back to today’s episode, where we are chasing another one of our biggest 100 goals.

Telanna: And we are talking about today chasing more memories and less things.

Mercedes: Yes. So obviously this is your goal this week because we’re going to switch it up.

Telanna: I feel like you’re saying that because I’m old or something that came out can you try that again? Because that came out like, this is an old person’s goal. I need you to do this again.

Mercedes: No, I like this goal. I do feel like that you are getting old, but I am 100% in.

Telanna: Support of this.

Mercedes: Chasing of the memories.

Telanna: Okay. I will be seeing you in person soon, ma’am.

Mercedes: You will. We’ll be chasing more memories because we love your middle child, I guess, is what we’re saying here.

Telanna: Yes. Okay.

Mercedes: Who refuses to make an appearance. But that’s fine.

Telanna: She will someday. Someday, yeah.

Mercedes: We’ll just bribe her with food.

Telanna: That is true.

Mercedes: Okay. So for our audience that’s out here, I know that you’ve talked about chasing more memories and listings for a couple of years now, and I’ve definitely benefited from watching you do that and seeing how you’ve been intentional about that in your life. So tell us, mother. I should call you just mommy. It feels weird calling you mother.

Telanna: Sounds weird, too. I’m like, who is she calling?

Mercedes: Well, because it’s, like, weird because I’m like mommy.

Telanna: Okay, thank you. Hi.

Mercedes: Tell me about this endeavor to chase more memories and less things.

Telanna: So I think can I say woke? I can say woke.

Mercedes: You can say woke. Just not in Florida, in Tallahassee, where.

Telanna: We’Re going tomorrow, because I’m in Orlando. I’m going to say, okay. I kind of woke up in I guess it was probably like the end of 2017, and that led into 2018. And then by the time 2019 rolled around and I decided that I was going to get my coaching certification, a lot of these things started come up for me. Because the funny thing is, I thought I was going to get my coaching certification to help coach my clients better, but it turns out it makes you work on yourself first. I do not I know, right. That’s supposed to happen like that. I think that’s really where I became aware of wanting to shift to a different space when it came about the consumption of things in general.

Mercedes: How have you tell us about this concept as a lifestyle? Because I think it’s a lifestyle for you. Right.

Telanna: I think it’s become a lifestyle. And the funny thing about it is that I just recently well, let’s say when we were thinking about doing this podcast as the second episode, and I was doing some research about what I wanted to really add to it. Minimalist came up, and I was like.

Mercedes: You do not like those words, I know.

Telanna: Well, first of all, I don’t really like labels, and I’m like minimal.

Mercedes: I said that you don’t like words.

Telanna: You didn’t know that?

Mercedes: That’s not what I meant. It’s labels is, right?

Telanna: Yeah, well, I knew what you meant. It’s okay. I gave birth to you, child. I know what you meant.

Mercedes: So I did suck my teeth.

Telanna: Yes, I know.

Mercedes: I don’t know if that you could hear that.

Telanna: I could hear that, but you’re far away from me, so we’re just going to let that slide.

Mercedes: Whatever. Like your island thing, like, you all gave that to me. Okay, go ahead.

Telanna: Whatever.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: So I looked up minimalist, and I was like, that is absolutely not me. And so I thought it was interesting. I read an article at the minimalist, I believe it’s theminimalist.com, and they talked about how minimalism has helped them. And one of the things that they said is that it’s helped them eliminate their discontent. It’s helped them reclaim their time. It’s helped them live in the moment, pursue their purpose, discover their mission. And I was like, you know what? I am not going to read this, because I feel like this is going to cause me to put a label on myself.

Mercedes: I don’t understand that, though.

Telanna: Which part? No.

Mercedes: Okay. I understand the minimalist piece, like the benefits of minimalism. Because I think eventually anyway, we’ll get into that. I think eventually that’ll be something that’s in alignment with you for me. But I don’t understand why you get really caught up in the labels thing. Why is label a bad thing?

Telanna: I think it’s a trigger for me because I feel like it’s causing me to identify with something that I don’t necessarily fully identify with. And I just want to just do my own thing. I don’t want to be lumped into a group of people who say they’re minimalists even though have minimal tendencies. Part of it, too, is that there’s so much information in these Internet streets. I feel like now I didn’t know what a minimalist was, so it was kind of an eye opener to me because I think when I think in terms of what minimalism is, I think about just clutter. I think I think about it from an art perspective. Yeah. And so I enjoyed the article because it opened up the idea for me of what exactly it does mean. It doesn’t mean I have less furniture, which is a big thought of sorry. Which is a big part of what I thought it meant, that it mostly focused on things. And just reading this article, I feel like it focuses on just something that’s important to me and that’s really becoming.

Mercedes: So tell me a little bit more about that. What do you mean when you say becoming.

Telanna: I shared that. A lot of things changed for me when I started my coaching certification. And I think it changed a little bit even before that, because I remember thinking when we went to Italy in 2016 and just seeing the homes, in Europe and the fact that they don’t consume as much as we do because of smaller refrigerators in their houses and all of this stuff. And I think I was thinking about it a little bit back then, too. But I think part of the problem is as a parent who, of course didn’t have a silver spoon or it’s fine. Any spoon, I feel like you get older and you have kids, and you want to just give them everything that you didn’t have. And so naturally, I think this whole thing comes from just wanting to let them enjoy life or what you think enjoying life would be for them. And so I know for you that’s different because you grew up when we were in a different economic status. But our Gen Z, she’s a little bit different. But now I think I even generous.

Mercedes: I’m a libra alone.

Telanna: Yes, I was being generous. Leave her alone.

Mercedes: That was so nice. But she might see this. Yeah. So when I look at Kate, she’s a consumer.

Telanna: She is a consumer very much. Except I don’t know where she gets that from. Well, that’s from her aunt.

Mercedes: No, you already know that’s. From her aunt.

Telanna: Dad’s side and her godmother. So we can blame them.

Mercedes: No, it’s also her aunt on her mother. Yes. I forgot about it. I don’t understand. She didn’t get that from you or me.

Telanna: But she did. But she did get that. She got that, honestly. So I can’t be mad at her, and sometimes I do appease her, but sometimes okay, sorry. Okay, sorry.

Mercedes: Yeah, you are true.

Telanna: You know what?

Mercedes: Please move on.

Telanna: I appease her a lot.

Mercedes: Okay. Thank you.

Telanna: You’re welcome. Do you feel better now?

Mercedes: Yes. Validate my thoughts.

Telanna: Okay.

Mercedes: We’ll make this a therapy session. But no, I mean, I do think we have this part of life, right, where it was definitely the struggle. But I do have a lot of different memories from childhood of being at Disney and all the fun things that I did with family and stuff. I think it’s different because that is actually more of the memories pieces than the things pieces for me. I mean, there were obviously things anyway, but I still think that same sentiment, like, it remains. But yeah, it’s a lot different for Trinity.

Telanna: Yeah. And I feel like it’s even more different from KJ, which we learned in the last episode. So if you haven’t listened to the last episode and go back and listen to it. But I see it even more from him now, because now I’m just totally irritated by the fact that I’m constantly picking up all of these stupid little things like why is this here? Why is this here? And I think that it’s really important to really teach him, too, like, the value of creating these memories, and just not especially in this day and age where they’re just, like, stuck to the Internet, stuck to the games, and I just really want to do something different other than consume things because I don’t like clutter anyway. And so one of the things that I was reading that I thought was so interesting was that the average home in Italy or Europe as well is 871. Average home in the States is around 2600. And even just being here, you see people with their garages full. Like, they can’t even park their car in their garage because we have so much stuff. We consume so much stuff. And I don’t think, like, I’m this green person, right?

Mercedes: No, I mean, there’s levels to this.

Telanna: Yeah, there’s definitely different levels. And I don’t feel like that’s me. Yes, I try to recycle when I can, but that’s definitely not me saying that, okay, I’m going to try to do everything that I possibly can to save the Earth. I don’t think about it in that terms. I just feel like in this day and age, we need to have purpose in everything that we do. And the goal for my life right now, I will say right now and forward, is just to live intentionally. If I feel like there’s no purpose to it, I don’t want a part of it. I don’t want to do anything with it. So I’ve gotten to this place now where I only do what I want to do, which some people may say sounds selfish.

Mercedes: I mean, what else is there to do other than what you want to do? That’s how I view it. What else is there to do but to do what you want to do? Like, you’re on this Earth for a finite period of time. So why would I do anything other than what I want to do?

Telanna: That is a good question. And I am so happy at 28 years old. You’re 28, right?

Mercedes: I think so.

Telanna: I’m so glad that at 28 years old, you have that’s.

Mercedes: Hey there.

Mercedes: It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show notes.

Mercedes: Love.

Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.

Mercedes: I have no chill. Why?

Telanna: We weren’t raised like that.

Mercedes: Kudos to you, Mommy.

Telanna: I know, right? Hello. So say, for instance, I was in Walgreens yesterday, right? I was out at the checkout, and it was probably, I think it was like 07:00. I was at the register, and a lady that works at Walgreens was walking out and she was talking to the cash register lady saying good night or whatnot, acting about her family. And the lady that was ringing me out and said, okay, have a good night. Go home and get some rest since you have to be back here early in the morning. And she was like, I doubt it because John I don’t remember her husband’s name, right? She was like, no, because I’m going to get home and John’s going to tell me, these dishes need to be done or this needs to be done. And I’m like, Lord have mercy.

Mercedes: Something John.

Telanna: It took everything in me, okay, to say, lady, go to sleep. It took everything in me to say, lady, tell John do the dishes. Leave the dishes. If you’re tired, you’re tired. You know what I mean? But I think that’s just I mean, she was older than me. I don’t know if she was a Gen X, an older Gen X or boomer, I don’t know. But what I do know is that she was walking out that door as tight as I don’t know what and already thinking about the fact that she was going to go into her home and have this person, this person who loves her. I’m assuming.

Mercedes: That’S generous. You’re being very generous today because Debatable.

Telanna: Tired coming home at 07:00. And I’m like, if you’re already coming home at 07:00, you tired coming home at 07:00. And she’s leaving thinking about somebody telling her she didn’t do a chore. Now, if the devil ain’t a liar, I don’t know what is.

Mercedes: Okay? Because all I know is that God just knew what generation to put me.

Telanna: In because.

Mercedes: I would have been Scarlett letter out on the streets. They would have burned me at the stake. Well, I guess I probably would have been a slave back then, but you know what I’m saying?

Telanna: Lord have mercy.

Mercedes: But all I’m saying is I would not you. Okay?

Telanna: Yeah. We go in there.

Mercedes: Well, I mean, it’s true because sometimes you look back at historical context of all these frail white women that were taken care of by their husbands, and then you were like, well, I couldn’t have lived in that society. Like, no, you weren’t one of those women. Anyway. Sorry. Okay, so I want to get us a little bit back on track.

Telanna: Can I back up for just 1 minute. Don’t forget that question. Write it down. Because I just wanted to back you up a minute because you said, well, why don’t people just do whatever they want to do? Because you do. And so I gave you that story to say, I will say that I.

Mercedes: Know why people don’t do what they want to do.

Telanna: Well, what I wanted to share with that was just that, okay, here’s this lady, and I don’t know, since I’m turning 50, I would just say she’s between 50 and 60. She might have even been older. But here she is at this age in her life where she just feels like she still has to do because of a learned behavior. Somewhere along the line, somebody said, this is what women do. You saw me experience those things early in my marriage, and I was just burnt out. Burnt out so much that I had to go on family strike.

Mercedes: Is that really what happened?

Telanna: I just not do anything. And so I think it just gets to that point where you’re like, I want something different. And it was just sad to me that here at her age.

Mercedes: She never did something different doing the same thing.

Telanna: Yeah, it was just sad. That’s all it is sad. I saw another comment on a post that was on Instagram where another lady said she’s basically almost at the end of her life and she has not found happiness.

Mercedes: That’s crazy.

Telanna: That was like the saddest thing I had seen in forever when it comes to that. Of course, we had a shooting yesterday, so of course that trumps that. But that was one of the saddest things I have ever read. Like, she literally said, I’m almost at the end of my life and I haven’t found happiness yet. And it’s like I’m not even the type of person that likes to hug, but I really wanted to give her a hug and just say, I can.

Mercedes: Confirm that you don’t like hugs. No, but I mean, yeah, that is hard because it’s one of those things where it took a lot of time to understand it is not easy to choose happiness. No, it’s actually really hard, actually, if.

Telanna: I’m being honest with you. I don’t even believe in happiness because I feel like happiness is just so fleeting. And I know what it feels like to be happy, but I feel like I’m putting in the work, as you so said, the hard work these last years, since 2019, and now it’s joy. And for me, happiness and joy isn’t the same thing.

Mercedes: I do think it’s how you view it, because yes, I think when you don’t have alignment in life, then it is fleeting happiness. But I think when you have been and that’s why I say it takes hard work to be at a state of happiness or joy or flow right in life. Because I think there’s like a flow in a moment of doing something you enjoy, but there’s a flow that can be in life. I think about where I am now from where I was a year ago, and because I was taking so much time to understand what is required for me to truly feel happiness consistently, to feel like I have a happy life. And yes, you could call it joy or other things. I mean, some people might even call it peace. But I think, yeah, essentially there is a fleeting sense of happiness. And actually, you know what? I think this does have a lot to do with our topic today of chasing more memories, less things. Because I think especially with our society and being so consumer driven, it’s the things that kind of give us that fleeting joy. I bought something today especially, like, Amazon, right? That’s why a package shows up every day, right? And you have that piece of, like, this is my fleeting joy or my fleeting happiness. But it’s the pieces of the memories and the building, the life over what is in alignment for you that I think creates a happy life. I think that’s a good way to look at it.

Telanna: So when you talk about peace so I think, for me, if I were going to make a comparison, I would say, I still don’t think and we can agree to disagree. I still don’t think that happiness and peace are I mean, happiness and girl, joy, joy, joy.

Mercedes: It’s been a long day.

Telanna: So I still don’t think that those two are the same things. I feel like like you said, happiness is the feeling you get when Amazon shows up, when your boyfriend or I’m sorry, my bad. Can I say my bed? Is that still loud? Your fiance my bad.

Mercedes: Will always be allowed.

Telanna: Okay. Your fiance cooks you an amazing dinner of nachos that he has never made for me.

Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. I had more nachos today, but I had shrimp nachos. Girl, it’s getting better every day.

Telanna: You know what?

Mercedes: Yeah, okay, that’s happiness.

Telanna: Okay, that’s happiness. Okay, that’s happiness. Happiness is when he pulls out that rock and says, will you marry me? That’s happiness. But I feel like joy is peace. I feel like it never leaves you. So even in your darkest days, joy is still there to sustain you. And so I’m just going to have to disagree with you about that one. That’s okay.

Mercedes: We don’t have to argue.

Telanna: I know.

Mercedes: I do this. Yeah, but it’s okay. You see your life when it’s in alignment, as a state of joy, and I see it as a state of happiness.

Telanna: I guess we’ll just keep it as that.

Mercedes: You are so petty.

Telanna: Yeah.

Mercedes: You’re like, fine, whatever.

Telanna: I come from a long line of pettiness, and that’s okay. I claim it.

Mercedes: Well, it’s just every year, every generation just multiplies.

Telanna: Oh, we already know that.

Mercedes: I love how people think. I’m sane, but it’s like, oh, no, you’ve just seen me when I would like to behave so I can keep my paycheck. No, I’m just joking. Okay, so tell me, Mommy, what has chasing more memories and less things look like in your life?

Telanna: It really looks like not having parties for people to come eat and leave. Like, I absolutely cannot do that.

Mercedes: Okay. Isn’t that a memory?

Telanna: It depends.

Mercedes: Okay.

Telanna: I guess if you value those memories, you make a very valid point. I don’t say that to knock anybody that wants to do that because yes. You know how I feel about canceling whatever is important to you. So I’m going to reframe that and say, like, big parties and all that stuff just not important to me. But something in a very intimate setting at my absolute favorite restaurant.

Mercedes: Yes.

Telanna: That would be important to me. My 20th anniversary is also in January. Do I want to have a big renewal vowel ceremony or something like that? Absolutely not.

Mercedes: Would I like to just go on? I’ve been dealing with you all for 20 years.

Telanna: You have girls. Such a mouth now, going on a wonderful trip to Japan for the thumb. You just having some type of revelation.

Mercedes: I don’t know why I felt like I was older. You felt like I vividly remember things when I was eight.

Telanna: Yes.

Mercedes: You all traumatized me. All right, that’s fine.

Telanna: Who do you think barbecued for that epic fifth grade party you had?

Mercedes: I must have blurred that out. I didn’t like your husband at the time.

Telanna: It happens in blended family. So that’s okay.

Mercedes: I like him now. That’s okay.

Telanna: Some days I didn’t like him either, but we good now.

Mercedes: Okay. I’m sorry. Okay. So what I hear you saying is that when you kind of view this big party, you view that as many things, like you’re buying all these things to have a party for people that you kind of really don’t even want to talk to anyway, and it’s not like a memory that you would cherish. So it’s not something that you’re actively chasing.

Telanna: Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I just think about all of the times that we’ve done things, even the little things, just like driving down to western Florida and just going to Ceviche Arigato.

Mercedes: That’s like a core memory for you. Yes.

Telanna: And just checking and checking in and sitting around the table at the resort, and we literally just went to do nothing. We literally drove from Orlando down South Florida to go to a restaurant. And for the weekend we were in the resort and we were playing games and we were doing nothing but just being together. Now, having said that, one thing just came up for me when you were talking about, this is why I love awareness, this is why I love coaching, because even in these times, things just come up. I feel like I don’t have a lot of those core values, I mean, core memories from my own life. And so I think, too, that’s why it’s really important for me to have them now and to make sure that my children have them, because I don’t have a lot of them. And of course, not taking anything away from my grandmother, but not being raised by my mom and not having my sister, my older sister there. I just want to make sure for you guys, even though you guys get on each other’s nerves sometimes, that this is important. Hey, y’all. Mama Telanna here. Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it? Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose Minded Woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back. Okay. To help you get started, I created a free resource. Six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps you can take to take action and control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindedwoman.com. Get to be 50 years old and have very few memories. Yeah, well, you know, I’m kind of wimpy.

Mercedes: I know everybody getting old and sentimental.

Telanna: I’ve always been sentimental.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: I just do what I got to do and go past the sentimentalness. But now that I’m doing all of this inner work, I’m learning to sit in my feelings instead of just ignore them. It’s okay for me to experience these feelings about what happened in my life instead of just ignoring them and just rolling through.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: Level of strong woman, quote, unquote.

Mercedes: Okay.

Telanna: No.

Mercedes: Sorry, but yeah. I don’t know if that makes you feel better or not, but I feel great. No, I feel great. Oh, my God.

Telanna: I’m a great mom.

Mercedes: I love how you rebounded like that. Quickly. The healing has been done. But no, but I think you were successful in that mission. I feel like I have so many core memories. The interesting thing is that sometimes I remember these moments in life and family and just outings, and those were like those core memories of us. Like the Easter egg hunts.

Telanna: When I’m trying to play marbles.

Mercedes: Yeah, but I was actually older than that. And one of the things where it’s like, I’m so young, should I actually remember those things? But the Easter eggs around pop UP’s house my grandmother for some reason I always have the six flag pictures in my head. Yeah, that was like a big thing. I always remember the trip and I’m trying to remember. I definitely remember the trips to south of the border, which is funny.

Telanna: That is funny.

Mercedes: I can remember it in its heyday, sorry, Trinity. Anyway, so people know why we’re laughing.

Telanna: What was it?

Mercedes: Two years ago? Trinity really wanted to go to south of the border and we were like, trust me, you don’t want to go. And she’s like, I want to go. And I drove all the way to south of the border for us to be like the most anticlimactic drive of our entire life when we all knew that’s what was going to happen. But you wanted Trinity to have core memories so much that we wasted that amount of time in a we did. To go to south of the border. Because Trinity really need to go to south of the border.

Telanna: That is so true. That is crazy too, right?

Mercedes: Because we all knew that’s the core memory. And I actually think that if it’s not for Trinity, it has to be because she was totally fine. The fact that she had wasted hours of driving, like, okay, I was here, but I did get to talk to a parrot, so that was cool. Did you talk to the parrot while we were there?

Telanna: No, I didn’t talk to them.

Mercedes: Was it just me talking to the parrot? I was very enamored by this parrot. I was like, that was worth 8 hours of driving.

Telanna: Oh my gosh.

Mercedes: And they didn’t have our hotel Bedford.

Telanna: Yeah, they didn’t have it.

Mercedes: Anyway.

Telanna: But that all worked out because it would have been a Jesus moment. And so I’m glad that all worked out.

Mercedes: Me, I had to leaving, remember? Because I got there and then that was happening and I was like, I’m going to control myself. And I went to the bar and got us some drinks.

Telanna: You did?

Mercedes: And then the lady was like, we’re closing soon. I was like, go ahead and make another one, love.

Telanna: But that’s okay because I was just determined to pray us through that and everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to.

Mercedes: I love that you’re telling the people you prayed your way through that.

Telanna: I did. I did.

Mercedes: Praying quietly and yelling loudly. I’m sorry, let me leave you alone.

Telanna: But I can guarantee you that if they knew what happened to us when we got to that hotel, they would have been yelling too. As a matter of fact, they wouldn’t have been praying silently. They would have been speaking in tongues or something. I’m just saying that was an experience at the end of a long day. But I’m glad you brought that up because I think it just goes to prove that sometimes we have to create these memories even when they’re not memories that we necessarily want.

Mercedes: Well.

Telanna: I don’t think any of us want to go to south of the border.

Mercedes: Well, no, but I think that is the thing about the memory though, even though south of the war is totally crappy, that’s a funny, really great memory for me. This is peak hilariousness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but that whole thing was funny and now I can even laugh even though I know we were having a rough night when we got back to that hotel. That’s a core memory for me. We were just going and having fun and it was a little spontaneous, it was a little fun and it was a good trip and yeah, I also have it like.

Telanna: That bartender made a.

Mercedes: Good drink that was the best we’ve ever had.

Telanna: Ever.

Mercedes: Yeah, we’ve been chasing that drink ever since and we’ve never that is true. Gotten another one. It was a Jolly Rancher I think.

Telanna: Is what yeah, but I’m not going back to Buford for that.

Mercedes: No, we’re not. But also I will say that I love that picture that when we went to Buford and I’m like staring at the schoolhouse and you have this beautiful picture of me admiring the history. And I think that’s indicative of a lot of things of like we have been much more intentional other than the south of the border of doing chasing these memories for things that are impactful like making sure the trips that we’re going on are trips that are like bucket list trips and being intentional about spending time on those experiences rather than those things. And I think about right now where one of my biggest goals for this year was to pay off as much debt as I could and I’ve been on a really great journey with that. And I think the interesting thing is that I have minimized spending so much on things and I’ve been literally taking out like car fulls of stuff out of the house to donate and making space for things that are truly giving me joy. But then when I thought about that, it has given me much more freedom to spend money on experiences and experiences that we will have this year. And so I think that’s one of those things of like it is the alignment there. And when you talk about short term happiness versus these bigger long term goals, that is the goal, right? Minimalism, even though you don’t want to call yourself a minimalist. I would love to kind of get closer to that.

Telanna: It’s okay, don’t say no.

Mercedes: It is this thing of being intentional about what you choose to spend your money on, the things that you choose to have. Is this something that’s going to help me in this moment or make me feel a short term burst of happiness or is this going to be chasing this long term memory, happiness, joy, whatever you want to call it, peace, whatever you want to call it, joy. It’s fine.

Telanna: Don’t be petty.

Mercedes: We just discussed this. Not possible.

Telanna: No, that’s absolutely right. Are the things that you’re consuming, are the ways that you’re spending your time is that really helping? And resources to get closer to the life that you want? I just sold all of my craft stuff.

Mercedes: Which I’m still in shock about. I mean, I know that you did do it because there’s, like, lots of things missing, but I was like, what?

Telanna: Yes, but so this has been part of that journey, too. Why in the world do I have all of this stuff? This is so ridiculous. On another level, to the point where the clutter I mean, first of all, I take that back. It wasn’t cluttered. Anybody that knows me, I’m not going to have clutter. But it’s a lot of stuff that I wasn’t even using.

Mercedes: Yeah, I was just taking up space. Like, it wasn’t cluttered or messy.

Telanna: No, exactly. So, like, I sold a bunch of stuff. But that also brought me to another challenge that I had with trying to get rid of things is that I read how much of things that are donated ends up in the landfills. And I’m just like, that made me compelled even more because you can’t even.

Mercedes: Say, oh, it’ll go somewhere good.

Telanna: Yeah, you can’t even do that. And being honest, it’s really hard to give away stuff just to say, hey, I have stuff to give away because that means somebody has to manage it and somebody has to do all that. So I get it. But I just have gotten to this point where I am just tired of having stuff that I don’t use in my site, amazon’s fault.

Mercedes: Not to get too meta, because I feel like I’ve been getting all into the meta of things, but it is indicative of our culture that we would have such a thing.

Telanna: It’s crazy. Yeah, because I literally said, you know what? I want to start juicing. And I just went on Amazon and bought a juicer. Okay. And then I went to Kevin and say, hey, look, I just got this juicer because I want to start juicing. And you know what he said to me?

Mercedes: We have a juicer.

Telanna: He said the Vitamix could do that.

Mercedes: Which is a really good blender. You psycho.

Telanna: Why do I spend $40 on the juicer? Yeah.

Mercedes: So one of the things that I think has been really a challenge for me, I have limited that getting new things. But I think one of the biggest challenges for me in pursuing decluttering or a more minimalist lifestyle, and I will also say that my goal I know you know this, but my goal is to have an RV and be able to live in the RV full time. And that means that I have to downsize so much of life. And I think that’ll really help me to make the hard decisions, marie Kondo style. But I think one of the biggest challenges that I’ve had in chasing more memories or alignment for life and less things is that I have an emotional and I think most people do, right? But I have an emotional attachment to some things. I have some skirts that I finally got rid of, and I shouldn’t say I got rid of them, I took them to a church because I won’t take things to Goodwill. That’s even before I knew that how many things at Goodwill don’t make it to actual people instead of going to a community group or, like a homeless shelter or something like that. But anyways, all of that being said, I had these skirts that I bought, and I bought those skirts when I was at Macy’s, and those skirts were kind of like this thing that was indicative of me transitioning into a professional. So those were the skirts that I wore when I was first an intern and got my first career HR job. And I would look at them in my thing and like, oh, they’re so pretty, and they’re floral, and, oh, they look so cute and professional, but it’s not even like something I wear style wise anymore. Like, I haven’t touched those skirts in two or three years. And maybe even more than that, actually, because I don’t think I’ve ever worn those skirts at my current job, which means they haven’t been worn in, like, four years. And it took a lot out of me to actually put those in a bag to donate. And that’s hard because that’s like, you’re not just making a decision to declutter, you’re making a decision every single time, like, hoarders to get rid of something even though you know you haven’t used it. And I think one big kudos to you, because I know a lot of you becoming a crafter and all of those things that you did kind of became part of your identity in many ways, even though you don’t like the labels, but you call yourself a crafter. That’s how I know you were super drank the Kool Aid. But anyway, so I’ll let you chat. But all I’m saying is I think one of the biggest things in this is having the guts or the courage to say, I’m going to make hard decisions every single time I choose to minimalize or choose to get rid of something. And that is more than just the same way that chasing happiness or joy is hard. It’s just as hard to get rid of the things that are not serving you in that journey. I’m going to drop my snowball on the floor. That was my words.

Telanna: I absolutely love that you said that, too. And I just want to speak to all the moms out there, too, because I feel like at times we can be challenged, too, right, to go along with whatever the norm is. So a few years ago, you threw.

Mercedes: Away my stuffed animals well, that, too, actually. You left them in the attic. I’m not over that yet. I had an emotional attachment to those.

Telanna: Yeah, I’m sorry.

Mercedes: Oh, thank you for saying sorry, finally. No, Mommy. Mommy, that’s not an apology. You’re old enough to know that’s not an apology. Wow. Didn’t you just finish talking about how you’ve grown as a person, not an apology?

Telanna: No, I was just actually thinking no, but this is the thing about awareness. After I said it, I was like, Did I just say that?

Mercedes: You mean by the mouth?

Telanna: No, I didn’t mean to add the.

Mercedes: After part because you didn’t mean it. It was an automatic response.

Telanna: No, of course. But you know what?

Mercedes: You can try.

Telanna: You threw me when you said I hadn’t apologized before, and I was thinking, surely she must be wrong about that.

Mercedes: No, it was actually a while before I knew that it happened. You all moved. And then I was like, wait a minute. Actually, that’s what happened. When I was moving stuff from my apartment to Brandon’s. That’s why I was like, wait a second. All of my stuffed animals aren’t in this box. I still have stuffed animals with boxes because that’s one emotional thing that I can’t get rid of. And then you all left Fluffy in an attic.

Telanna: Oh, my gosh. Fluffy.

Mercedes: See, isn’t that ******** behavior?

Telanna: That is true, and I sincerely apologize because I would feel some type of way if somebody left my doctor who built a bear in some attic.

Mercedes: See, that’s what you all did to me. And I was traumatized.

Telanna: I’m sorry.

Mercedes: But it’s okay. This is a healing moment for me. Thank you. Thank you for giving me that space to grieve Fluffy. I’m not even joking. Like, I’m so upset.

Telanna: You are so welcome. I’m glad that I can help a.

Mercedes: Year later for you. Thank you. Yeah. But I will always have fond memories of Fluffy, so I think that’s a good nugget, right? Like, you don’t have to have the thing for you to remember what it meant to you.

Telanna: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Mercedes: Yeah. I will remember those skirts and what they meant to me at that time. There’s a lot here. There’s a lot to unpack with that.

Telanna: Well, that’s what I was going to bring up, too, before we pivoted into Fluffy.

Mercedes: I’ve been waiting for that apology. So that’s why okay, I’m done. Sorry.

Telanna: To my mom to let them know that I think it was maybe three, four years ago. I was just like, okay, I’m not doing this Valentine’s thing anymore, and I’m not doing this Easter thing anymore, and all that stuff. And that might be a difficult thing, especially when your kids see other people doing it, right, and they want to be a part of it and they want to do it. And what I really found out was that if we’re creating the memories as a family, that we need to and that we want to. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s some commercialized holiday. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, as long as you do what matters to you all. And you talking about your skirts. That would be the question that I would ask you. What are you making those skirts mean to you?

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And I guess it’s because I don’t really get attached to things in that sense. I mean, there may be a few little things I get attached to, like certain things that you kids have done for me over the years. And of course, I’m attached to a few things from my grandmother now that she’s not here, but I don’t get attached to things like that, which is why I got in trouble with my husband, because I was like, do I need to keep this wedding gown? Girl.

Mercedes: I’m sorry, Mommy. Now, that man is low key sentimental. I don’t even know why you asked that.

Telanna: And he was so offended, and I felt so bad.

Mercedes: Right, as you should.

Telanna: Yes.

Mercedes: Cyberman behavior, man.

Telanna: But I didn’t want it in my closet. It’s taking up space.

Mercedes: It’s still in one of those garment bag things. Well, no, because why am I telling you this? You get it put in that preservation box, and you put it on.

Telanna: The box is big, too.

Mercedes: Yeah, but it’s not hanging, and it’s, like, out of the way.

Telanna: It’s not hanging?

Mercedes: No, it’s not hanging.

Telanna: No, it’s on the shelf in the closet. It’s just there, Mommy.

Mercedes: Okay, so now that I do like your husband, I’m going to defend him on this podcast. Okay. Because that man has held in his heart for 20 years, apparently, about your wedding day vows.

Telanna: Okay, we’re not going to talk about that.

Mercedes: And you thought it was okay to ask that same man if you could get rid of your wedding dress?

Telanna: I guess I’m taking the less things, more memories. Too far?

Mercedes: Yeah. Okay. Because there is kind of like anyway, if you’re listening to this and you didn’t watch or haven’t watched or even are aware of this lady Marie Kondo, I feel like that’s a really good gateway drug to this conversation. Because I’m not saying that the entire way you should live in a Marie Kondo way, probably not, because not to.

Telanna: Cut you off, but she get in trouble. Have you looked up her lately?

Mercedes: What happened? What did she do?

Telanna: She didn’t do anything. But however, when life changes for you, your intentions change. And so now some of the things that she has originally written because she has a child now, she changed.

Mercedes: That’s evolution. I’m good with that.

Telanna: No. Yeah, I wasn’t saying anything’s wrong with it. I was just bringing that to your awareness because it didn’t sound like you knew.

Mercedes: No, I didn’t have a child. No. But if I’m going to be honest here, I don’t agree with everything that Marie Kondo did. It’s just like, a good way to understand some of the process of it. But I appreciated the way I think her system, at least of the way that it’s presented in the show, because I didn’t read her book or anything, but it was like, there are things and then there are keepsakes. Right?

Telanna: Yeah, absolutely.

Mercedes: And I think that’s one of the things of why you should have never asked that question, because, like, a wedding gown is a keepsake for most people.

Telanna: But it’s not a keepsake for me. So that’s why I asked the question. It’s okay.

Mercedes: All right, well, no, I get why you asked that question. That’s in alignment with your cyberman tendencies, but that was not in alignment with your other.

Telanna: Well, then that’s why I asked him if I could put it in his closet, and he told me no, because that’s basic.

Mercedes: So in theory, right, that’s like, you just like, it’s still you getting rid of it. He’s like, I don’t want this anymore. You can put this in your closet.

Telanna: Yes, I agree. You’re absolutely right. And somebody should have done something to me about that.

Mercedes: Maybe you should have asked somebody other than your own brain.

Telanna: Yeah, well, next time. Yes.

Mercedes: How did you do this?

Telanna: More memories? I don’t know. I don’t remember. It was a while ago when I was Marie Kondoing my closet and going looking at this, give me joy, does this?

Mercedes: And I didn’t stop and say, oh, she had a section about keepsakes.

Telanna: Yes, she has a section about keepsake, but I don’t see it as a keepsake. I just see it as a dress that I wore on my wedding day.

Mercedes: Okay, well, I feel like now we’re in a circular reasoning thing that we don’t need to go into further.

Telanna: Oh, no. But when we go back to we talk about memories. My memory of that day is not attached to the dress.

Mercedes: Yeah, that’s great that you have that ability, which, I mean, I think that’s where people should go. I think people should be able to say, this memory remains, the importance of this day remains, or whatever, even though I don’t have this physical thing that is attached to that. But I think that’s like an evolution of the journey.

Telanna: So I have a superpower.

Mercedes: Yes, it does give sociopathic behavior. I mean, you got to even think with as much true crime that I watch Even Sociopaths right now.

Telanna: Keep podcast, right?

Mercedes: Even Sociopath. No, I’m going to finish this. Even sociopaths keepsakes It’s often terrible and later used as evidence. But yeah, no, you’re psycho.

Telanna: Because I don’t want any you know what?

Mercedes: Okay, so I think we’ve covered I want to say all of the topics and some more. Lots of topics. So is there anything like closing words, guidance, strategies, something that you feel like would help the audience on the journey that you are very successfully going through to the extent that you are willing to throw away your wedding dress.

Telanna: Wow. That was kind of harsh.

Mercedes: I am a scorpio talking to another.

Telanna: But obviously one is more mature than the other stage of life.

Mercedes: Never said that.

Telanna: I mean, I think it’s just about being honest with yourself and creating a life without the burden of doing things and having things and being the person because somebody else thinks you should be and just being honest about what’s no longer working in your life. Holding on to those craft supplies for so long when I was just like, this doesn’t feel like me anymore. But that’s who everybody saw me as.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And so I think it’s just having these honest conversations with yourself. And at the end of the day, I’m sorry, as morbid as it’s going to sound when I’m on my deathbed, what is going to really matter to me? That I kept all these crafts and supplies because I couldn’t bring myself to give them away or that I spent my days doing the things that I really wanted to do?

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: I don’t know. And I feel like it’s just so freeing to and I know that it isn’t about always about having things, like physical things. I understand that. But there is this freedom in just not having clutter. And I don’t mean like messy, hoarders clutter. I just mean having more things than you truly need in your life. There’s just something so beautiful about not being consumed by those things and having the freedom to do the things and having a clear mind to think the things that you want to. But like you said, it’s a journey. I didn’t just wake up and say.

Mercedes: Okay, I’m throwing away my wedding dress.

Telanna: You know what? You bring that up one more time.

Mercedes: Girl, what you going to do, beat me?

Telanna: I’m going to turn into River Song.

Mercedes: Okay. From Doctor Who? Yeah.

Telanna: I’m going to turn into River Song.

Mercedes: Thank you. I think she murdered her mother, didn’t she?

Telanna: She did. And the doctor.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And the picture that’s on my wall of her is of her holding a cyberman’s head off its body.

Mercedes: I love that you said this in a completely normal way, which does prove my point.

Telanna: Whatever, little girl.

Mercedes: I’m glad that you were able to reach down and be the nurturing mother that you were for me. Thank you.

Telanna: You’re welcome. Because I was a great mother.

Mercedes: You’re a great mother. You’re a great mother.

Telanna: I am.

Mercedes: But you have sociopathic tendency.

Telanna: It’s the greatest thing I’ll ever do. No, I take that back. I said I wasn’t going to say that anymore.

Mercedes: Is that because it’s a label?

Telanna: No, because there is still so much more that I have to do.

Mercedes: Okay. I think that’s true. We have many lives to impact.

Telanna: Yes, we do.

Mercedes: And we have many journeys that we will be a part of and that’s exciting.

Telanna: But I’m glad that this podcast is here because I’m glad that I can end this call this podcast. No, I’m saying I’m glad that I can end the podcast knowing that you have those core memories.

Mercedes: So many core memories.

Telanna: Yes. And so that just brings me a lot of joy. Not happiness. It brings me so much joy. Crying.

Mercedes: Yeah. I’ve had a good life.

Telanna: Yeah. I think we should end it on that note.

Mercedes: That’s cute. All right, so, Chasers, until next time. We are wishing you much success in chasing your biggest goals, and we also hope that you take time to really consider what kind of memories you want to chase and what kind of things you want to chase and really make sure to build that into your life so that you can live a life of intention. So thanks for listening, toodles.

The post Episode 2: Chasing More Memories, Less Things appeared first on Chasing 100 Club Podcast.