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Episode 6: Chasing Luxury – Chasing 100 Club
Summary
Is money really the root of all evil? Should we be ashamed of wanting to live a life of luxury when so much is wrong with the world?
In this episode of the Chasing 100 Club Podcast, Mama Telanna and Mercedes unpack how we’re chasing luxury every day be that lux experiences, lux purchases, or future desires. Join us as we share our personal money mindset stories, our journey of embracing financial abundance in our lives, and what we’re chasing for our next level of luxury.
We’re also sharing strategies and tips that you can use to shift your money mindset and manifest your own version of a luxury lifestyle!
And if you’re enjoying this podcast, send us your thoughts, review, or note of encouragement at hello@chasing100club.com! We’d love to share it on our social media platforms!
WATCH OUR TURKS AND CAICOS TRIP RECAP: https://youtu.be/yWpuN2klPZU?si=EJvrObr3ahET3QO9
Explore Coaching with your Hosts
LINKS AND RESOURCES
Chasing 100 Club Shop: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach
We Should All Be Millionnaires by Rachel Rodgers: https://amzn.to/3Un7v4R
Hello Seven with Rachel Rodgers: https://helloseven.co/
Money Bootcamp with Denise Duffield-Thomas: https://www.denisedt.com/
ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:
Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ
Learn Telanna: https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about
Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ
About Mercedes: https://www.mercedesswan.com/about
Engage with the Podcast
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message
Support the Chasing 100 Club Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club
Chasing Luxury Transcription
[00:00] Mercedes: Okay, I’m ready. So long.
[00:04] Telanna: We’re back, baby. What is wrong with you? What is right with me?
[00:10] Mercedes: What is wrong with you? Are you ready?
[00:13] Telanna: What I want for my birthday.
[00:15] Mercedes: You do know or you don’t know?
[00:17] Telanna: I don’t.
[00:18] Mercedes: You never know what you want for your birthday, and I’ve given up on that endeavor.
[00:23] Telanna: So else something luxurious.
[00:27] Mercedes: You want something luxurious? Is that what she said?
[00:33] Telanna: Machine is $900.
[00:35] Mercedes: That’s luxurious for sure.
[00:37] Telanna: The two silhouette machines together are 900.
[00:41] Mercedes: Oh, you wanted those?
[00:42] Telanna: I don’t know. I’m leaning towards my coffee machine anyway.
[00:46] Mercedes: Okay, are you ready?
[00:48] Telanna: But that is luxury. A $900 coffee machine?
[00:52] Mercedes: It is luxury. I hope you bring that up once we officially start. Are you ready?
[00:58] Telanna: I am ready.
[01:00] Mercedes: All right. Well, hey, y’all. Hey. It has been a little minute since y’all heard from us at the Chasing 100 podcast. And if you don’t know me, it’s Mercedes and it’s Mama Talana. Yay. You got your cue, girl. Okay, I know because we was getting a little rusty there.
[01:27] Telanna: It’s been a while.
[01:29] Mercedes: Yeah, it has been a while. So we are welcoming you back to the Chasing 100 podcast. It’s your favorite mother-daughter duo, and we are chasing our biggest 100 goals. And today, what are we talking about?
[01:42] Telanna: Luxury.
[01:43] Telanna: Chasing luxury.
[01:45] Mercedes: So, I figure we could talk about a little bit about our recent trip to the Turks and Caicos Islands. Okay. Because I know how to say it now, since we gone, and I figured we could kind of launch that as our entryway into this podcast for living a life of luxury. So, do you want to take it away?
[02:05] Telanna: Well, definitely the Turks and Caicos. With a capital T-H-B. Because that’s the most expensive place I’ve ever been in my life.
[02:15] Mercedes: Preach. We left a bag. Several bags.
[02:19] Telanna: And that’s a lot coming from Bermuda, definitely. You hear people say tux and Caicos is expensive, but you just play it off, right?
[02:33] Mercedes: Yeah. Because you’re like, well, any travel is expensive, obviously.
[02:37] Telanna: Exactly.
[02:38] Mercedes: It was not that.
[02:39] Telanna: No, it definitely was not that. But I will say, even though it was expensive, it’s definitely worth the trip.
[02:51] Mercedes: Preach. Okay, so I think I would consider this one of the nicest, most luxurious trips that I think I’ve been on. I don’t know if you feel the same, Mommy, but it was really just this moment of feeling like, wow, I have made it so far from where I was, like, a year or two ago. To feel like this trip was a plausible, reasonable trip where we could do fancy stuff like get a private chef, a private charter. Okay. Rent a whole beautiful villa, have beach access. Okay, we did that. So I think that was one of the biggest things of feeling like, wow, I’m coming into this moment where this life of luxury, I’m getting snippets and pieces of it, and it’s feeling like it’s going to become part of my lifestyle. So I would say that was a really great introduction to. I mean, yes, we have been chasing luxury in other places, but I would say this was a really big one where I could kind of feel like I was embedded in that, like, living my best luxurious life.
[03:58] Telanna: Oh, yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, I think in terms of trips that we’ve been on, I feel like even when I look at our trip to Italy or our trip to think, you know, those were just like, they were great trips, but they had a different just. I can’t even explain the vibe that I want to say because I felt like a tourist, but I felt like a different type of tourist than being a tourist in Alaska or Italy or somewhere. So there is definitely something to be said from doing those things that you talked about, like the private chef and the charter and even the private transportation, things like that. It’s so much to be said about that. It makes a big difference in what you’re experiencing when you’re on vacation.
[04:58] Mercedes: Yes, I think it was kind of freeing because I legitimately think that was, like, the first trip that I’ve gone on that I wasn’t really worried about it. I don’t mean worried about it. I mean worried about the expenses. It didn’t feel like I was bawling on a budget. It felt like I was legitimately bawling.
[05:18] Telanna: Well, girl, that’s because it was just two of you.
[05:22] Mercedes: Okay. No, I don’t want to think that that’s why I’m keeping my womb to myself.
[05:29] Telanna: But, of course, it’s four of us, and it still didn’t feel bad. I think mostly because as a family, we’re foodies, and so we’re used to spending a lot of money on just good meals. And a big portion of that trip, the food was meals and then tacking on an additional 12% to that, so it wasn’t out of pocket.
[06:01] Mercedes: So I think coming out of that trip, I will say that I was definitely dealing with what we call upper limiting things from not only having last month one of the best business months or months in my business, which absolutely funded my extravagancies in Turks and Caicos. But I will also say one of these moments where I was like, oh, wow, I’m living what my dreams are. And so I would say there were a ton of things that I felt like were limiting beliefs that came up for me. Kind of like feeling like an imposter, feeling like these kind of experiences overall are unattainable to me. Also, those triggers that come up when you’re thinking about, like, okay, being rich is immoral, and we see all of the things that we have going on in the world from economics, inflation, Oprah out here doing crazy stuff, asking people to donate, and she didn’t. Also, I’m not Oprah, though. Okay, I’m not Oprah, but just kind of like all of these thoughts about what does it mean to live in luxury and really feeling like you can, given how much is going on in the world and given how much we really have to kind of work for a dollar in today’s economy.
[07:28] Telanna: Yeah, I mean, I can absolutely see how that might come up for you. I think for me, I didn’t really experience it that much because I’m older than you.
[07:39] Mercedes: Oh, really now? Oh, really now? How old, girl?
[07:44] Telanna: How older? Not wiser necessarily, but.
[07:52] Mercedes: I was waiting for you to talk about your birthday, girl. Come on. Come on.
[07:58] Telanna: No, you don’t go there.
[08:01] Mercedes: Okay, all right.
[08:05] Telanna: Stop making me lose my train of thought. I’m just joking. Anyway, so I feel like I’ve experienced those things already because I’m older than you, because I remember when you used to be little and you would be like, okay, you don’t have to buy your clothes at Walmart.
[08:28] Mercedes: Wait, what?
[08:30] Telanna: But it was just ingrained in me kind of, to do that because it’s this journey that you go through of all your different money stories. And of course, then that day came when I was like, you know what? I don’t even like their clothes. Although they’ve changed now, right? A lot. But I don’t go in Walmart for other reasons. But I think I didn’t think about that as much. I remember, especially your dad when we were dating. He has always had this thing with luxury. And so when we were dating, he used to take me to drive through these rich neighborhoods, and he used to take us to these five star hotels to walk around. And there was always this big level of discomfort for me, like thinking somebody was going to walk up behind you and just tell you that you don’t belong here and basically to get out. And so I didn’t feel that at all in Turks. I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, doing exactly what I needed to do and just being present and enjoying it. And I honestly wasn’t thinking about what someone didn’t have. I wasn’t thinking about everything that is going on in the country with money. I was just in a place to just be and relax and enjoy it because I feel like that’s what God wants for me too.
[10:20] Mercedes: Period, period, period. So I think for me, it was kind of like when you talk about creating your ideal life or your best life, it’s kind of like this journey of like, I’m where I am now and I’m where my dream life should be or I want it to be. And you can kind of feel yourself, like, I don’t know, is it like teleporting between the two energies? Some Sci-Fi stuff. We always end up talking about Sci-Fi stuff where some of it definitely, I could say for sure I didn’t think about anything else but living my best life while I was on that charter. But I do feel like some of the times when I was walking around or like restaurants or things like that, I was kind of having this moment, like, does this feel comfortable to me? And I think in a lot of ways it didn’t. So I appreciate you sharing, like, you know what, I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve worked on money mindset stuff, and here we are. And that kind of higher self aspect of who is a person that lives that life of luxury and how do you become her?
[11:35] Telanna: Yeah, exactly. And we had this conversation before about the fact that luxury is personal and what it means to me is something completely different than it is to you. And how it shows up for me is different from how it shows up for you. But I do want to ask you a question about what you said about feeling that you may not necessarily belong there or not really understanding the impact of what’s going on in the world and having to reconcile you being in this beautiful country, expensive, and then people in the US getting laid off and other types of economic things that are going here. How were you able to process know.
[12:34] Mercedes: I really think I’m still processing, like, to be honest. So the first thing about kind of. I think the part that felt unsettling is that I really felt like, again, like I said, this is one of the first times that I could really feel like I was in that dream. And when you were talking about the luxury part, luxury travel and how we define luxury is that goal for me. Right. Like, I want to be all over the place, on a plane, on a private jet, I don’t know. In a private car, whatever. I want to live a luxurious travel lifestyle. That is my goal in life personally. Right? And so I see these things as one, like, oh, man, okay, I traveled here, had all these private, luxurious experiences, but I also see in my head what that could potentially be like when I talk about, okay, I didn’t take a private jet there. I’m not there yet. And it’s a thought of, like, why isn’t it good enough for me to embrace and enjoy the level of luxury that I can live in in that point, at this point in life? And I think that’s one of the things that I was battling with of, like, why am I discounting where I currently am? Because it doesn’t look like this other standard that I have. And Also, am I kind of fronting in the level of luxury that I’m at right now? Because thinking about it holistically, this wouldn’t be sustainable every day of my life, which is also part of that goal. Right. It felt a little bit like imposter because I’m living my best life, Balin. But I feel like that right now with where I am, that’s actually not a sustainable piece. And when I think about the economic challenges, the future layoffs, and also just that people from an economic and basic need standpoint are suffering. And it’s all those things in my head all at the same time. So I just brought up Oprah to joke. But I also told you that I have a $31,000 Birkin in my Amazon cart as a joke, too. There’s levels to this. There’s a lot.
[14:54] Telanna: Definitely a $31,000 purse. I’m not mad at you.
[14:58] Mercedes: It makes me happy. Every time I look into Amazon, I’m like, you know what? One day, I’m going to click that button that Birkin is going to be.
[15:04] Telanna: Apparently have a watch on my wish list that is probably three times the amount of that purse.
[15:12] Mercedes: Okay, there it is.
[15:14] Telanna: I’m definitely not mad at you.
[15:18] Mercedes: And it’s really funny because I’m not even, like, a designer bag like person. I just love how those look. It’s wild, right? It’s okay.
[15:27] Telanna: No, and that’s why I’m saying how luxury is personal. I think a lot of times we get caught up in what it should look like is because what we’re looking at and basing it on are celebrities and not realizing that we can have a luxurious life, but we can also do what we’re called to do and still have impact. I think so much about what we learned about money is just rooted in old, wise tales and I guess biblical understanding, too, that money is the root of all evil. And I know for me, I’ve had to really unpack that, because I feel like if anything that we see in this time in society is that money makes a difference. Money has impact. Money speaks. Money allows you to do things that you would not be able to do to help people that you would not normally be able to help without that. And I think that is just such an important part of it. And I also think it’s what gives you the balance that you’re not just out here wilding out, paying for $30,000 purses, yet just joking and ignoring the things that you see, ignoring the opportunity to have that social impact. I definitely don’t think that that’s what you’re doing. And I think it’s easier to reconcile the two things when you know that you’re still doing the things that you feel called to do.
[17:23] Mercedes: Yeah, I guess when I think about it, I feel like even though that same concept is not about money, but every time I have this kind of conversation about the impact of work and, yes, the way that money can help you do that work, I always think about, there are starving children in Africa. Like, every time.
[17:54] Telanna: Oh, you think about it? I saw that my whole life. I saw my, whoa, why’d you pass.
[17:59] Mercedes: It on to me?
[18:00] Telanna: Infomercial with the little boy from Ethiopia with the big belly out. And, yes, that is, like, one of the most difficult things to see that. To think that other people on the other side of the world could be living like that. And here we are in the States with so much abundance.
[18:21] Mercedes: Well, I don’t even think that anymore, because those starving children are down the street, how I feel about that anymore. But anyway, so I’m saying, sometimes I think about it, it’s like, oh, my gosh, we paid $11,000 for this fella girl. How many people could I fee with?
[18:39] Telanna: Eleven.
[18:39] Mercedes: So I feel like that’s what you have or that’s what I think. But I also think it is very true. I think one of the most impactful comments that really helped me to address those money mindset challenges is while we were in the club with Rachel Rogers. Right. I said the club. One of the most powerful things that I was watching was just understanding there’s nothing more powerful than people of color and specifically black women, and our economic impact on the communities around us than when we are financially. Yeah, we’re coming from a place of financial abundance and how it impacts those around us. So I have to think about the idea that when we thrive, those things overflow and we can choose to use our money in the way that we want to see it impact the communities or the goals, missions, whatever that are important to us. So it is helpful, but it is still something that I constantly balance or kind of think about in my head when I’m looking at luxury. Right?
[19:51] Telanna: Yeah, I remember Rachel. I wish I had the statistic in front of me, but she always shares a statistic about how. I know you mentioned black women, but women in general take more of their money to have social impact. It was a really high percentage. And I wish I had the quote, but I don’t. But she shares that, that men don’t take their money to have impact in a lot of places, but women are doing it. And I feel like if you’re having the impact that you want to have, you should also be able to enjoy that fruit for yourself as well. I don’t think there’s anywhere in the Bible that I can remember. I mean, just speaking from me, I know everyone doesn’t identify as a Christian, but just speaking for me, I feel like there is nowhere in there that says that I have to be poor or I’m supposed to be poor. God said to multiply and have dominion, right? So that means multiplying in every area of my life. And if I’m able to multiply, I’m able to do that for other people too. I think the interesting part of it though is this statistics that you found online when we were doing some research.
[21:23] Mercedes: Ridiculous.
[21:26] Telanna: Fueling the luxury retail sales.
[21:29] Mercedes: It’s wild.
[21:30] Telanna: I’m going to let you share that.
[21:32] Mercedes: You’re going to let me share it? Girl, shut up. Okay.
[21:36] Telanna: Going into this conversation, they’re almost out of that bracket.
[21:49] Mercedes: Hey there, it’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me during our call. We’ll dive deep into your career goals and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career? It can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show.
[22:39] Mercedes: Notes love.
[22:40] Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.
[22:54] Mercedes: It I can’t close. Brandon’s been messing with me. So you’re going to call out my age, but I can’t call out your age.
[23:04] Telanna: Of course you can call out my age. I have no shame over my age.
[23:07] Mercedes: All right, well, I think one of the things going into this, too, is that we did, like, for laughs and giggles. No, just kidding. We did go look up the definition of luxury because we were kind of looking at like, okay, what does luxury actually mean? Because we feel like it was kind of misconstrued of how people define that and that it does have a personal take on this. But luxury as a definition says a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort. The other one says something’s addition to pleasure or comfort. Okay. And then an indulgence of something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease, which I think these three definitions are kind of interesting when you take the following fact that says nearly half of all come.
[23:58] Telanna: Through soft life people.
[24:00] Mercedes: Okay, the soft life people have arrived. But anyway, soft life. Nearly half of all young adults, 48% between ages 18 to 29, reside at home with their parents, and their savings are fueling luxury retail sales, according to a report. Blah, blah, blah, US Census Bureau. And then the other one that said Americans with an income of less than 50,000 make up 27% of regular luxury.
[24:33] Telanna: Consumers, which is wild to me.
[24:35] Mercedes: That’s wild to me.
[24:37] Telanna: I mean, both of them. I mean, I got to say, though, I’ve never been just like you. I’ve never been a purse person or shoe person. I like a purse.
[24:49] Mercedes: Shout out To Vera Bradley, girlies.
[24:53] Telanna: But I mean, at the same time, it’s like, I like a purse. I buy the purse, I use the purse. I don’t need 16 luxury purses. And not only do I not need them, I don’t want them. So I can see how the definition that you gave, it makes sense for me. Right? I’m looking for things to offer me comfort, like a great coffee machine. That’s comfort, right?
[25:28] Mercedes: Are we posting this before your birthday? What? Are we posting this before your birthday? Put everybody on notice. Come on, Mommy, tell us what birthday we’re celebrating.
[25:43] Telanna: We are celebrating 50.
[25:49] Mercedes: And hopefully going into another luxury experience, right?
[25:53] Telanna: Yes. We’re going to spend some time in the keys. Because luxury to me is also being with my family in an environment that we can enjoy. And so I’m just looking to just be in chill mode, which is lovely for me. Another villa to rent.
[26:17] Mercedes: I know, girl. I was like, no, I’m just kidding. When we talk about repetition, I’m just proving it to myself, creating the evidence for my own mindset.
[26:28] Telanna: Exactly. Maybe I’ll even get to take that $900 coffee machine with me.
[26:35] Mercedes: Oh, my goodness. You’re wild.
[26:37] Telanna: I’ve been already told no, but you know how that goes. Yeah, but I think this is so wild. As someone who has a 19 year old and a 29 year old, and if you were living.
[26:50] Mercedes: 29 year old is on the call.
[26:55] Telanna: I know, but I’m just saying, if you were living in my house and then you’re using your savings to fuel luxury retail sales, it’s a no for me.
[27:06] Mercedes: Okay, but let’s be honest here. You’re 18. Wait, is turning 18 or 19? I’m sorry, it’s 19. Your 19 year old is part of that group.
[27:17] Telanna: Yes, but she is not living at home using her savings. I might be fueling some of those luxury purchases for her.
[27:30] Mercedes: I mean, okay, I feel like you consistently stay in denial about your middle child, but that’s okay.
[27:43] Telanna: Jesus, take the.
[27:46] Mercedes: Out there. I’m just saying, it’s not like she got it, honestly. But it’s okay. But, yeah, I feel like she fits in that category. It’s okay. It’s all right. No more about it. I agree.
[27:59] Telanna: She does fit in that category. The difference with me is whether or not these kids are using their money for luxury things. Are they also using their money for life, or are they literally just at home, not paying any bills at home, not doing anything at home, and just spending their money on luxury things? Because that, to me, is wild. But I also know a lot more younger. I don’t want to call them kids, but young adults are traveling, like, big time.
[28:41] Mercedes: Well, this says specifically luxury retail sales.
[28:46] Telanna: Yeah, I know that says that, but I’m just saying in general, too, I think this age bracket is traveling a lot, too. I don’t know how luxurious it is, but I remember growing up, for me, it just used to be luxurious just to get on a plane once a year, much less multiple times a year.
[29:06] Mercedes: That’s true.
[29:07] Telanna: It’s okay.
[29:08] Mercedes: I broke you all right into it very easily.
[29:11] Telanna: Just kidding. Come on.
[29:14] Mercedes: In Italy? Yeah, I guess. But in a way, if they are contributing to maybe whatever their parents expect them to contribute to, they have a job they’re paying their bills or whatever they need to pay for. Are we then demonizing how they choose to use their discretionary income? No.
[29:39] Telanna: And that’s what exactly I’m saying that I don’t know much this goes into that because this says they’re savings.
[29:48] Mercedes: I mean, I think they’re assuming that that’s where it’s coming from. They’re saving money in itself. I feel like it’s kind of like a purposely polarizing of, like, they’re using the savings from staying at home with their parents on these luxury sales, which is like, they’re using the money that they would have spent on rent had they not been able to live. Hopefully they have savings.
[30:12] Telanna: Yeah, I don’t see any problem with that. If, yes, they are doing the things that they’re supposed to be doing as an adult, because that’s what you are, young adults.
[30:25] Mercedes: I’m becoming an old adult very quickly.
[30:29] Telanna: What is the bracket? Is 29 the cut off for that? Are you officially old at 30?
[30:36] Mercedes: I don’t know.
[30:37] Telanna: I feel old.
[30:39] Mercedes: I feel kind of old. Yeah.
[30:41] Telanna: Your siblings think you’re old.
[30:43] Mercedes: Yeah. I feel like their dialogue around my oldness doesn’t help. And I also feel like I was just bored as an old soul. So I have lots of things fighting.
[31:01] Telanna: Against me and my ability to feel youthful. So in terms of luxury, what’s next on your list?
[31:10] Mercedes: What’s next on my list? I literally have what poor Brandon would call, like, tunnel vision. I know you already know what I’m going to say to an RV. Being able to afford a fully nomadic travel in an RV lifestyle is the dream for me right now. And we need to do, like, an RV trial run. So not next weekend because I’m coming home next weekend, but the weekend after that, I’m supposed to be going to RV show. And then we want to do, like, a trial run and rent a fifth wheel or maybe like something smaller. So two things. Either do a fifth wheel that’s stationary so we can get a sense of the space and then do a smaller vehicle that we won’t kill ourselves or others. Traveling a couple of places, like maybe up the state of Florida or something to get a sense of how does that up and go lifestyle kind of feel. But I have straight up tunnel vision to my dream of owning an RV and traveling across the United States for the next couple of years. Yeah. What’s your next luxury goal? I think you talked about some of them, but.
[32:32] Telanna: You know, other than right now, the coffee machine of my dream, every time I get a new coffee machine. It’s another level.
[32:49] Mercedes: Yeah, we’re aware.
[32:51] Telanna: Yes. I don’t know what comes after the $900 ones, but I’m at the $900 ones right now and that gives me a great joy. And I think really, other than that, my next big thing is probably going to be our trip to Hong Kong.
[33:11] Mercedes: And.
[33:14] Telanna: On my life list is also the Orient Express. So those are probably two of the luxury. And I could probably even do it up even a little bit more if I didn’t take my kids with me.
[33:35] Mercedes: Good try. Good try. You will literally have to plan it in secret. Okay. You will have to get the FBI, the CIA, whoever else. Okay, Doctor who to help you plan that in secret because. No. Good luck with that.
[34:01] Telanna: What, we’re just going to be out, send you a postcard and let you know we’re there?
[34:08] Mercedes: No, ma’am.
[34:09] Telanna: Yeah. Would definitely be luxury because I want to do first class for those flights and I just want it to be a great experience and a nice. Because our plan is to, of course, take a cruise out of Hong Kong, but we’ll save that for another time.
[34:32] Mercedes: Oh, my God. I don’t think so. I feel like that is very luxurious.
[34:35] Telanna: I think we got to.
[34:40] Mercedes: It’s a no for me, dog.
[34:49] Telanna: Hey, y’all. Mama Talana here.
[34:51] Telanna: Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it. Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose minded woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back.
[35:21] Telanna: Okay.
[35:22] Telanna: To help you get started, I created a free resource, six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps.
[35:47] Telanna: You can take to take action and.
[35:50] Telanna: Control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindawoman.com.
[36:14] Mercedes: Say, oh, my gosh. So I kind of have looked at this of like, okay, our concept is this idea of chasing luxury or chasing our goal, right? But in this case, we talked about how we’ve been chasing luxury. And of course, we’ve been intentional about creating those experiences and defining for ourselves what that luxury looks like. Like you just asked. So I guess my question to you is if you have people who are out there that are struggling in the same way that we are, and we, of course, have benefited from many professional development experiences, however you want to business, otherwise, mentors, mothers who are certified career coaches, however you want to look at it or not. Career coaches. Life coaches. So if you saw a woman who was really trying to get into living a more luxurious lifestyle, what would your advice be? That was a really long winded question, but we’re here two years later.
[37:25] Telanna: Need to take an intermission.
[37:28] Mercedes: Sorry.
[37:30] Telanna: I would really tell her the same thing, that I actually start with my coaching clients. The first thing that I do with them is just have them sit down and write out all of their desires, because I think a lot of times we have these desires, but we haven’t accepted them yet. But they’re actually what we want. But we’re so stuck in worrying about judgment from other people, judgment about spending that much money on something luxurious. I mean, I told you recently that I had joined a Black girls luxury group on Facebook, and of course, I’m not going to last there long. Actually, I’m on my way out. However, I joined it because I was looking for something special for my bestie since she turned 56 days after me. And the running narrative in that group is that these people post in that group because they feel like they can’t post on Facebook or they feel like they can’t share their excitement about their desires and their accomplishments with their family because of exactly what you said, judgment, and because other people in their family may not be doing as well as they are. And so it’s just this big narrative already around taking ownership for what you want and being okay with it. So that’s definitely the first thing that I would do. And then the second thing I would say is, look at your money stories. Look at your thoughts around money and how you grew up with it. We shared a little bit about that and how I grew up with people telling me money was the root of evil, or money doesn’t grow on trees and all these different things that were told about money. Look at those money stories, and how are they making you decide what you’re going to do with your money? I will say one of the money courses that I took was Denise Duttlefield. OR is it Thomas Dutterfield? I don’t know. Denise Dutterfield’s course about money and it was excellent because it helps you to understand where those money stories came from and to really understand that you’re able to have the impact that you want to. So that would be definitely the second thing that I would say that someone should do, and they have planned for it. You know what I mean? Not everything has to happen overnight. And stop looking at other people, celebrities, to define what luxury means to you. I’ve shared this with Mercedes, with you before, how luxury to some person is a Rolex. And when I look at a Rolex, I’m like, oh, that’s trash. Somebody go buy me a Patek Philippe. Because a Patek Philippe is a real watch, and a Rolex is trash.
[41:13] Mercedes: Oh, my. I’m Mommy. You said Paddock wrong.
[41:17] Telanna: I know, but it’s my accent. It’s how I’ve said it my whole life.
[41:24] Mercedes: No, it’s a joke, Mommy. I’m saying it wrong.
[41:26] Telanna: No, remember that guy? He said it wrong. Lord have mercy.
[41:31] Mercedes: Didn’t he say Paddock? Paddock on my wrist?
[41:33] Telanna: No, I think he said something worse than that.
[41:37] Mercedes: I feel like that’s what he said. We’ll have to go look at the correct way to pronounce it later.
[41:44] Telanna: Well, that’s the way I’ve always pronounced it my whole life.
[41:48] Mercedes: No, I think it’s a Patek Philippe, right? Yeah.
[41:52] Telanna: I don’t know how to. Anybody else would sound weird to me.
[41:57] Mercedes: No, it’s okay. I made a joke, and you didn’t get the joke, and now the joke is ruined. So.
[42:02] Telanna: It was a terrible joke.
[42:04] Mercedes: It was hilarious. I hope that somebody listening laughed at my joke.
[42:09] Telanna: The terrible joke for you.
[42:12] Mercedes: I’m going to have a Netflix comedy.
[42:13] Telanna: Special like your run on stories. But anyway, yeah. And so know, figure out what that looks like. For know, stop thinking that you have to have a million dollars to do this, or you have to wait until you have a million dollars to go on an amazing vacation, or you don’t have to. There’s probably somebody out there telling you that you have to, but you can do whatever you want to now at whatever you want to. There is luxury in every level of someone’s life. Someone a luxury may be getting a Starbucks once a week. I remember a time in my life when paying $12 for coffee was a luxury. So just remember that it’s whatever it is for you.
[43:11] Mercedes: I just had to say that there was a time in life when going to McDonald’s to get some McDoubles was a luxury for us.
[43:20] Telanna: Yeah.
[43:21] Mercedes: Every day.
[43:25] Telanna: McDonald’s is a luxury now.
[43:27] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. Anyway, so a couple of days, well, like a week ago, Brandon and I went into the liquor store, because out here we got that drive through liquor store.
[43:43] Telanna: Okay, you live in the country when your liquor stores drive through, but go.
[43:47] Mercedes: Ahead, that’s a luxury. Okay, you got to get out of the car. He says, what do you need? I’ll bring it to the window for you. But anyway, so I was in there, and so they had, Mommy, oh, my gosh. I’ll probably get some when I come home.
[44:03] Telanna: Should I probably do that?
[44:04] Mercedes: Anyway, so they had like six different types of stellarosa in there. They had like a peach honey. Is it peach Honey or Honey pear? They had the Moscato one in there, which I can’t find in Windix anymore. And they had like, blueberry, a cherry. And anyway, so they basically had way more flavors than I was used to. And so I got all said. I said, oh, well, tell me what I owe you, because I picked up three bottles. He was like, oh, you could just get the McDonald’s. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, not you being right that the three bottles of wine is comparable to getting McDonald’s now.
[44:44] Telanna: Hey.
[44:45] Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. You could tell me that you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but what is one of your money mindset or your money stories and how did you overcome that story?
[45:04] Telanna: I would say two. So the first one, as a faith based coach, I feel like that was a big money story for me, even in charging for coaching, was that I shouldn’t be able to do that because God gave me these gifts to help other people and contribute to society as a whole. So that was definitely a money story that I had. And how I came over that was just realizing that people don’t do things for free. They won’t do the work. So I’ve coached plenty of people for free in and out of ministry, and if there’s no skin in it, guess what? They’re not going to do it. So that one was pretty easy to come over. And I think one of the other big money stories that I really had was just that I was bad with money. I just think growing up and never having those conversations about money and how to make it work for you led to a lot of money trauma in my life. I would say lights turned off or having a car repoed or having had a garnishment, things like that. And so I think understanding that I’m not my stories and my past is not my future, and that with wisdom and knowledge, you can basically overcome anything. I think the big thing is not ignoring your money stories and not ignoring your money because a lot of times when we feel like we get into these situations with our money, we shut down and we don’t look at our money and it makes it worse. And so I think that’s a big part as well, that Denise teaches in her program and also Rachel, too, and we should all be millionaires, too, is really taking that time to look at your money. And so I’m intentional about having that weekly money date on Fridays. My alarm goes off at 07:00 p.m. Because you have to know where your money is so that you can do these things, so that you can have that life of luxury that you want, so that you can plan for it appropriately and create the life that you want.
[47:50] Mercedes: Are you going to ask me what my money mindset story is?
[47:54] Telanna: Well, if you were going to give me a.
[47:59] Mercedes: Okay, okay, I’ll let you go ahead.
[48:01] Telanna: And ask yourself since you’re already.
[48:03] Mercedes: No, no. You ask me.
[48:06] Telanna: So, Mercedes, would you like to share with our lovely audience your money mindset stories?
[48:13] Mercedes: Absolutely. Thank you. I feel like I have, at least in my brain of what I have unpacked as that defining you have that traumatic moment for you. You may remember my story of returning to college for my sophomore year. Do you remember that?
[48:33] Telanna: What year was that?
[48:35] Mercedes: I don’t know. 2014? So I feel like, I have this feeling that if I spend my money on things that are not like, Quote unquote, good decisions, then when I need it, I won’t have it.
[48:52] Telanna: Makes sense.
[48:53] Mercedes: And you like my dramatic pauses.
[48:58] Telanna: Yes. I wish I had a drum.
[49:02] Mercedes: And I think it’s because basically when I was moving back to college, right.
[49:07] Telanna: Now, let’s just tell everyone that I muted because I had to sneeze.
[49:11] Mercedes: You had to sneeze, so you muted. That’s so responsible of you for the.
[49:16] Telanna: Exactly. Not.
[49:19] Mercedes: Well, because I didn’t know if you could hear me talk about my money story. I think the interesting thing here is because of that, I think I have buyers remorse. So I was having this moment where I should feel very proud. It’s when I bought my first car. Then I was going back to college and I needed to pay for my deposit for my apartment. And I had somebody who was supposed to help me with that, who ended up not helping me with that. And I had a traumatizing day. So I shall say no names. We’ve all grown up. Have we? Anyway, all right. Have we?
[50:02] Telanna: Tell your story, girl.
[50:03] Mercedes: I am telling my story. Because anyway, I figured, anyway, Mommy, you know how people talk about you have root issues. I feel like that one day was a very defining moment in my life, and I have many root issues to unpack from that day. And this is one of them. And it is the fact that feeling like, if you are kind of like, you make a big purchase or you do something that is kind of helping you to see this goal, right? And it’s ridiculous for me to kind of have unpacked it that way of, man, I should have not bought my car. That’s ridiculous because I didn’t have this other bare need met of having an apartment because obviously I could have took the bus or whatever else. And so I unpacked that as saying, like, wow, if you are making these things that are not like a bare minimum need as an expense. And so often when I’m purchasing things that feel like luxury, I don’t enjoy it as much as I should because I feel like something could go wrong because I spent my money in the wrong place. And so sometimes that’s hard for me to feel like. And I think we were talking about it the other day when Brandon was like, let’s go on a cruise. And I was like, a cruise because I wasn’t mentally prepared for that. I’m thinking, like, I can’t make this big expense. I haven’t thought about. It’s not rational, blah, blah, blah. I can’t do. And, like, look at my bank account. Obviously I could, but it was like one of those things where I just had all those kind of feelings of not having enough, even though I know that I have enough. And so that’s been one of the things that I have had to really work through and ask myself when in the last couple of years have I not been able to cover all of my expenses that I needed to, like, wild, right. And kind of restructuring what that is. To look at it from finding the evidence of saying, like, you’re in a different place, you’re living a life of abundance and you have more money than you need at any time. Thank you for asking what my money mindset story was.
[52:01] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:02] Mercedes: So nice of you.
[52:03] Telanna: You’re welcome.
[52:06] Mercedes: Okay, so, Mommy, as we wrap up, because I think we’ve covered most of our big topics here in our pursuit of luxury. And I can say, like, we lived it up in Turks and Caicos, there will be more luxury in our life. And we are purposely working on our mindset every day, those limiting beliefs, our money stories, in order to live the life that we know we deserve, period. And is there anything else that Mama Talana would like to add to this discussion?
[52:37] Telanna: I don’t think so. That’s good.
[52:39] Mercedes: That’s a beautiful way to end.
[52:42] Telanna: Yeah.
[52:43] Mercedes: On that note, I’m going to bring up my Amazon cart and look at my $31,000 Birkin. I actually added a black one, so now it’s like 40,000.
[52:57] Telanna: Why are Birkin purses even on Amazon? I’m so confused.
[53:01] Mercedes: Okay, so the fact that Amazon has now identified that I have a problem. Okay. I’m getting Amazon luxury ads on Facebook. Yeah. And I think that they are like. So for instance, I don’t think you can buy a Birkin anywhere other than a store new. So these must all be like used Birkins because I’m not going to go play in somebody’s face. Like, I’m just going to have to.
[53:32] Telanna: Petty company that you have to be.
[53:34] Mercedes: Yes. You have to play in there. They play in your face. Okay, we’re not doing that.
[53:42] Telanna: But that alone would be just like, not something I want.
[53:45] Mercedes: No, I’m like, you’re not about to degrade me and make me work for a purse. Sorry. That’s probably not how they look at that, right?
[53:54] Telanna: I’m sure they don’t.
[53:56] Mercedes: I mean, people who purchase it, I feel like the sales associates have to thank that person.
[54:03] Telanna: So I can’t even understand.
[54:05] Mercedes: I mean, and I probably am just as many others are into the hype, but I do love that it’s very not, you know, like how you buy like a Louis Vuitton bag and the icons, like everywhere. I don’t so much. So I just like that. It’s just like this very classy, pretty bag.
[54:25] Telanna: That’s nice.
[54:26] Mercedes: Anywho, so, yeah, I’ll continue to get my Amazon luxury fine ads and add them to my cart. Like an absolute sociopath.
[54:39] Telanna: Yeah, well, I’m sure it must help with your motivation.
[54:45] Mercedes: I mean, every day I go check my RV fund and it makes me feel so much joy because it means I’m getting closer and closer to in many ways. Looking at my Amazon cart and checking my high yield savings account brings me great joy. Okay, Mommy, what brings you great joy and helps you pursue your luxury am.
[55:18] Telanna: I don’t want to say I’m a simple person because I like little things. Like, literally, I went to Turks and Caicos and I bought a stuffed dinosaur.
[55:34] Mercedes: I just bought it.
[55:37] Telanna: On the chair in my bedroom and that makes me happy.
[55:41] Mercedes: It’s so cute. Luxury in life is being able to buy whatever nonsensical.
[55:47] Telanna: Exactly.
[55:47] Mercedes: Whatever animal you want at any given time.
[55:51] Telanna: And now I don’t even tell people it’s for my son. I’m like, it’s mine.
[55:57] Mercedes: Was there a point in time when you were doing did so you’ve come a long way. I’m glad that you’re your authentic self because it’s great.
[56:09] Telanna: And I got to run now because here in the Jeffers household, we eat late, and my dinner at 09:00 is just ready.
[56:17] Mercedes: I thought you were going to say you have to pee. All right, well, that all being said. Bye, chasers. We’ll see you for the next episode. And we are glad to be back and can’t wait for our next Chasing 100 podcast episode. Bye.
[56:32] Telanna: See you next time. arrivederci!
[56:37] Mercedes: Go eat your dinner. Get off my podcast. Bye.
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