Summary

Have you ever stopped to consider that having less stuff could actually lead to a better life? In this episode, we explore the concept of minimalism and how it has transformed our lives. We’re Telanna and Mercedes, two non-minimalists turned de-clutterers who are now chasing MORE MEMORIES and LESS THINGS.

Join us as we share our personal journey towards minimalism, including the struggles we faced and the strategies we implemented to make it happen. From sentimental items to everyday clutter, we discuss the challenges of letting go and how it ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life!

But it’s not all serious talk! We also take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about some of our favorite family moments and why minimalism has become one of our 100 goals. Plus, we share some heartwarming mother-daughter moments that we hope will inspire you.

Whether you’re just starting out on your minimalist journey or looking for new insights, we hope this episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated.

Don’t forget to drop us a line at hello@chasing100club.com to let us know your thoughts – we’d love to hear from you!

FREE DOWNLOAD FROM TELANNA:

Unlock Your Success: Master 6 Simple Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage and Channel Your Energy towards Your Goals

https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/_Self_Sabotaging_Habits_PMW

FREE CAREER CLARITY CHAT WITH MERCEDES:

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Chasing 100 Club Website: ⁠⁠https://chasing100club.com/

Tidying up with Marie Kondo: https://www.netflix.com/watch/80209379?source=35

Chasing 100 Club Shop: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thecareerlovecoach

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS:

Telanna (Mom), the Purpose Minded Woman, ISTJ

Learn Telanna: https://www.purposemindedwoman.com/site/about

Mercedes (Daughter), the Career Love Coach, INFJ

About Mercedes: https://www.mercedesswan.com/about — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/chasing-100-club/message

Transcription

Telanna: Because I don’t want you to get to be 50 years old and have very few memories. Yeah, well, you know, I’m kind of wimpy. I know, everybody.

Mercedes: You’re getting old and sentimental.

Telanna: You. Hey, Chasers. I’m Telanna.

Mercedes: And I’m Mercedes. And it’s your favorite mother daughter duo.

Mercedes: And welcome back to today’s episode, where we are chasing another one of our biggest 100 goals.

Telanna: And we are talking about today chasing more memories and less things.

Mercedes: Yes. So obviously this is your goal this week because we’re going to switch it up.

Telanna: I feel like you’re saying that because I’m old or something that came out can you try that again? Because that came out like, this is an old person’s goal. I need you to do this again.

Mercedes: No, I like this goal. I do feel like that you are getting old, but I am 100% in.

Telanna: Support of this.

Mercedes: Chasing of the memories.

Telanna: Okay. I will be seeing you in person soon, ma’am.

Mercedes: You will. We’ll be chasing more memories because we love your middle child, I guess, is what we’re saying here.

Telanna: Yes. Okay.

Mercedes: Who refuses to make an appearance. But that’s fine.

Telanna: She will someday. Someday, yeah.

Mercedes: We’ll just bribe her with food.

Telanna: That is true.

Mercedes: Okay. So for our audience that’s out here, I know that you’ve talked about chasing more memories and listings for a couple of years now, and I’ve definitely benefited from watching you do that and seeing how you’ve been intentional about that in your life. So tell us, mother. I should call you just mommy. It feels weird calling you mother.

Telanna: Sounds weird, too. I’m like, who is she calling?

Mercedes: Well, because it’s, like, weird because I’m like mommy.

Telanna: Okay, thank you. Hi.

Mercedes: Tell me about this endeavor to chase more memories and less things.

Telanna: So I think can I say woke? I can say woke.

Mercedes: You can say woke. Just not in Florida, in Tallahassee, where.

Telanna: We’Re going tomorrow, because I’m in Orlando. I’m going to say, okay. I kind of woke up in I guess it was probably like the end of 2017, and that led into 2018. And then by the time 2019 rolled around and I decided that I was going to get my coaching certification, a lot of these things started come up for me. Because the funny thing is, I thought I was going to get my coaching certification to help coach my clients better, but it turns out it makes you work on yourself first. I do not I know, right. That’s supposed to happen like that. I think that’s really where I became aware of wanting to shift to a different space when it came about the consumption of things in general.

Mercedes: How have you tell us about this concept as a lifestyle? Because I think it’s a lifestyle for you. Right.

Telanna: I think it’s become a lifestyle. And the funny thing about it is that I just recently well, let’s say when we were thinking about doing this podcast as the second episode, and I was doing some research about what I wanted to really add to it. Minimalist came up, and I was like.

Mercedes: You do not like those words, I know.

Telanna: Well, first of all, I don’t really like labels, and I’m like minimal.

Mercedes: I said that you don’t like words.

Telanna: You didn’t know that?

Mercedes: That’s not what I meant. It’s labels is, right?

Telanna: Yeah, well, I knew what you meant. It’s okay. I gave birth to you, child. I know what you meant.

Mercedes: So I did suck my teeth.

Telanna: Yes, I know.

Mercedes: I don’t know if that you could hear that.

Telanna: I could hear that, but you’re far away from me, so we’re just going to let that slide.

Mercedes: Whatever. Like your island thing, like, you all gave that to me. Okay, go ahead.

Telanna: Whatever.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: So I looked up minimalist, and I was like, that is absolutely not me. And so I thought it was interesting. I read an article at the minimalist, I believe it’s theminimalist.com, and they talked about how minimalism has helped them. And one of the things that they said is that it’s helped them eliminate their discontent. It’s helped them reclaim their time. It’s helped them live in the moment, pursue their purpose, discover their mission. And I was like, you know what? I am not going to read this, because I feel like this is going to cause me to put a label on myself.

Mercedes: I don’t understand that, though.

Telanna: Which part? No.

Mercedes: Okay. I understand the minimalist piece, like the benefits of minimalism. Because I think eventually anyway, we’ll get into that. I think eventually that’ll be something that’s in alignment with you for me. But I don’t understand why you get really caught up in the labels thing. Why is label a bad thing?

Telanna: I think it’s a trigger for me because I feel like it’s causing me to identify with something that I don’t necessarily fully identify with. And I just want to just do my own thing. I don’t want to be lumped into a group of people who say they’re minimalists even though have minimal tendencies. Part of it, too, is that there’s so much information in these Internet streets. I feel like now I didn’t know what a minimalist was, so it was kind of an eye opener to me because I think when I think in terms of what minimalism is, I think about just clutter. I think I think about it from an art perspective. Yeah. And so I enjoyed the article because it opened up the idea for me of what exactly it does mean. It doesn’t mean I have less furniture, which is a big thought of sorry. Which is a big part of what I thought it meant, that it mostly focused on things. And just reading this article, I feel like it focuses on just something that’s important to me and that’s really becoming.

Mercedes: So tell me a little bit more about that. What do you mean when you say becoming.

Telanna: I shared that. A lot of things changed for me when I started my coaching certification. And I think it changed a little bit even before that, because I remember thinking when we went to Italy in 2016 and just seeing the homes, in Europe and the fact that they don’t consume as much as we do because of smaller refrigerators in their houses and all of this stuff. And I think I was thinking about it a little bit back then, too. But I think part of the problem is as a parent who, of course didn’t have a silver spoon or it’s fine. Any spoon, I feel like you get older and you have kids, and you want to just give them everything that you didn’t have. And so naturally, I think this whole thing comes from just wanting to let them enjoy life or what you think enjoying life would be for them. And so I know for you that’s different because you grew up when we were in a different economic status. But our Gen Z, she’s a little bit different. But now I think I even generous.

Mercedes: I’m a libra alone.

Telanna: Yes, I was being generous. Leave her alone.

Mercedes: That was so nice. But she might see this. Yeah. So when I look at Kate, she’s a consumer.

Telanna: She is a consumer very much. Except I don’t know where she gets that from. Well, that’s from her aunt.

Mercedes: No, you already know that’s. From her aunt.

Telanna: Dad’s side and her godmother. So we can blame them.

Mercedes: No, it’s also her aunt on her mother. Yes. I forgot about it. I don’t understand. She didn’t get that from you or me.

Telanna: But she did. But she did get that. She got that, honestly. So I can’t be mad at her, and sometimes I do appease her, but sometimes okay, sorry. Okay, sorry.

Mercedes: Yeah, you are true.

Telanna: You know what?

Mercedes: Please move on.

Telanna: I appease her a lot.

Mercedes: Okay. Thank you.

Telanna: You’re welcome. Do you feel better now?

Mercedes: Yes. Validate my thoughts.

Telanna: Okay.

Mercedes: We’ll make this a therapy session. But no, I mean, I do think we have this part of life, right, where it was definitely the struggle. But I do have a lot of different memories from childhood of being at Disney and all the fun things that I did with family and stuff. I think it’s different because that is actually more of the memories pieces than the things pieces for me. I mean, there were obviously things anyway, but I still think that same sentiment, like, it remains. But yeah, it’s a lot different for Trinity.

Telanna: Yeah. And I feel like it’s even more different from KJ, which we learned in the last episode. So if you haven’t listened to the last episode and go back and listen to it. But I see it even more from him now, because now I’m just totally irritated by the fact that I’m constantly picking up all of these stupid little things like why is this here? Why is this here? And I think that it’s really important to really teach him, too, like, the value of creating these memories, and just not especially in this day and age where they’re just, like, stuck to the Internet, stuck to the games, and I just really want to do something different other than consume things because I don’t like clutter anyway. And so one of the things that I was reading that I thought was so interesting was that the average home in Italy or Europe as well is 871. Average home in the States is around 2600. And even just being here, you see people with their garages full. Like, they can’t even park their car in their garage because we have so much stuff. We consume so much stuff. And I don’t think, like, I’m this green person, right?

Mercedes: No, I mean, there’s levels to this.

Telanna: Yeah, there’s definitely different levels. And I don’t feel like that’s me. Yes, I try to recycle when I can, but that’s definitely not me saying that, okay, I’m going to try to do everything that I possibly can to save the Earth. I don’t think about it in that terms. I just feel like in this day and age, we need to have purpose in everything that we do. And the goal for my life right now, I will say right now and forward, is just to live intentionally. If I feel like there’s no purpose to it, I don’t want a part of it. I don’t want to do anything with it. So I’ve gotten to this place now where I only do what I want to do, which some people may say sounds selfish.

Mercedes: I mean, what else is there to do other than what you want to do? That’s how I view it. What else is there to do but to do what you want to do? Like, you’re on this Earth for a finite period of time. So why would I do anything other than what I want to do?

Telanna: That is a good question. And I am so happy at 28 years old. You’re 28, right?

Mercedes: I think so.

Telanna: I’m so glad that at 28 years old, you have that’s.

Mercedes: Hey there.

Mercedes: It’s Mercedes. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have some pretty big dreams and aspirations. Are you looking to break into your dream job? What about pivot into a new career that aligns with your purpose? Or maybe you want to advance your career as an amazing black woman. If any of this sounds like you, it’s time for us to have a chat. In the show notes, you’ll find a link to schedule a quick and free 15 minutes career clarity. Chat with me. During our call, we’ll dive deep into your career goals, and I’ll share some transformational career advice. If coaching with me could benefit you, we’ll discuss that too. If you’re feeling uncertain about your career, it can be tough, but it’s possible to find clarity and direction. So why not take a step to your breakthrough and schedule your free career clarity? Chat with me today. The link is awaiting for you in the show notes.

Mercedes: Love.

Mercedes: All right, let’s get back to the episode.

Mercedes: I have no chill. Why?

Telanna: We weren’t raised like that.

Mercedes: Kudos to you, Mommy.

Telanna: I know, right? Hello. So say, for instance, I was in Walgreens yesterday, right? I was out at the checkout, and it was probably, I think it was like 07:00. I was at the register, and a lady that works at Walgreens was walking out and she was talking to the cash register lady saying good night or whatnot, acting about her family. And the lady that was ringing me out and said, okay, have a good night. Go home and get some rest since you have to be back here early in the morning. And she was like, I doubt it because John I don’t remember her husband’s name, right? She was like, no, because I’m going to get home and John’s going to tell me, these dishes need to be done or this needs to be done. And I’m like, Lord have mercy.

Mercedes: Something John.

Telanna: It took everything in me, okay, to say, lady, go to sleep. It took everything in me to say, lady, tell John do the dishes. Leave the dishes. If you’re tired, you’re tired. You know what I mean? But I think that’s just I mean, she was older than me. I don’t know if she was a Gen X, an older Gen X or boomer, I don’t know. But what I do know is that she was walking out that door as tight as I don’t know what and already thinking about the fact that she was going to go into her home and have this person, this person who loves her. I’m assuming.

Mercedes: That’S generous. You’re being very generous today because Debatable.

Telanna: Tired coming home at 07:00. And I’m like, if you’re already coming home at 07:00, you tired coming home at 07:00. And she’s leaving thinking about somebody telling her she didn’t do a chore. Now, if the devil ain’t a liar, I don’t know what is.

Mercedes: Okay? Because all I know is that God just knew what generation to put me.

Telanna: In because.

Mercedes: I would have been Scarlett letter out on the streets. They would have burned me at the stake. Well, I guess I probably would have been a slave back then, but you know what I’m saying?

Telanna: Lord have mercy.

Mercedes: But all I’m saying is I would not you. Okay?

Telanna: Yeah. We go in there.

Mercedes: Well, I mean, it’s true because sometimes you look back at historical context of all these frail white women that were taken care of by their husbands, and then you were like, well, I couldn’t have lived in that society. Like, no, you weren’t one of those women. Anyway. Sorry. Okay, so I want to get us a little bit back on track.

Telanna: Can I back up for just 1 minute. Don’t forget that question. Write it down. Because I just wanted to back you up a minute because you said, well, why don’t people just do whatever they want to do? Because you do. And so I gave you that story to say, I will say that I.

Mercedes: Know why people don’t do what they want to do.

Telanna: Well, what I wanted to share with that was just that, okay, here’s this lady, and I don’t know, since I’m turning 50, I would just say she’s between 50 and 60. She might have even been older. But here she is at this age in her life where she just feels like she still has to do because of a learned behavior. Somewhere along the line, somebody said, this is what women do. You saw me experience those things early in my marriage, and I was just burnt out. Burnt out so much that I had to go on family strike.

Mercedes: Is that really what happened?

Telanna: I just not do anything. And so I think it just gets to that point where you’re like, I want something different. And it was just sad to me that here at her age.

Mercedes: She never did something different doing the same thing.

Telanna: Yeah, it was just sad. That’s all it is sad. I saw another comment on a post that was on Instagram where another lady said she’s basically almost at the end of her life and she has not found happiness.

Mercedes: That’s crazy.

Telanna: That was like the saddest thing I had seen in forever when it comes to that. Of course, we had a shooting yesterday, so of course that trumps that. But that was one of the saddest things I have ever read. Like, she literally said, I’m almost at the end of my life and I haven’t found happiness yet. And it’s like I’m not even the type of person that likes to hug, but I really wanted to give her a hug and just say, I can.

Mercedes: Confirm that you don’t like hugs. No, but I mean, yeah, that is hard because it’s one of those things where it took a lot of time to understand it is not easy to choose happiness. No, it’s actually really hard, actually, if.

Telanna: I’m being honest with you. I don’t even believe in happiness because I feel like happiness is just so fleeting. And I know what it feels like to be happy, but I feel like I’m putting in the work, as you so said, the hard work these last years, since 2019, and now it’s joy. And for me, happiness and joy isn’t the same thing.

Mercedes: I do think it’s how you view it, because yes, I think when you don’t have alignment in life, then it is fleeting happiness. But I think when you have been and that’s why I say it takes hard work to be at a state of happiness or joy or flow right in life. Because I think there’s like a flow in a moment of doing something you enjoy, but there’s a flow that can be in life. I think about where I am now from where I was a year ago, and because I was taking so much time to understand what is required for me to truly feel happiness consistently, to feel like I have a happy life. And yes, you could call it joy or other things. I mean, some people might even call it peace. But I think, yeah, essentially there is a fleeting sense of happiness. And actually, you know what? I think this does have a lot to do with our topic today of chasing more memories, less things. Because I think especially with our society and being so consumer driven, it’s the things that kind of give us that fleeting joy. I bought something today especially, like, Amazon, right? That’s why a package shows up every day, right? And you have that piece of, like, this is my fleeting joy or my fleeting happiness. But it’s the pieces of the memories and the building, the life over what is in alignment for you that I think creates a happy life. I think that’s a good way to look at it.

Telanna: So when you talk about peace so I think, for me, if I were going to make a comparison, I would say, I still don’t think and we can agree to disagree. I still don’t think that happiness and peace are I mean, happiness and girl, joy, joy, joy.

Mercedes: It’s been a long day.

Telanna: So I still don’t think that those two are the same things. I feel like like you said, happiness is the feeling you get when Amazon shows up, when your boyfriend or I’m sorry, my bad. Can I say my bed? Is that still loud? Your fiance my bad.

Mercedes: Will always be allowed.

Telanna: Okay. Your fiance cooks you an amazing dinner of nachos that he has never made for me.

Mercedes: Oh, my gosh. I had more nachos today, but I had shrimp nachos. Girl, it’s getting better every day.

Telanna: You know what?

Mercedes: Yeah, okay, that’s happiness.

Telanna: Okay, that’s happiness. Okay, that’s happiness. Happiness is when he pulls out that rock and says, will you marry me? That’s happiness. But I feel like joy is peace. I feel like it never leaves you. So even in your darkest days, joy is still there to sustain you. And so I’m just going to have to disagree with you about that one. That’s okay.

Mercedes: We don’t have to argue.

Telanna: I know.

Mercedes: I do this. Yeah, but it’s okay. You see your life when it’s in alignment, as a state of joy, and I see it as a state of happiness.

Telanna: I guess we’ll just keep it as that.

Mercedes: You are so petty.

Telanna: Yeah.

Mercedes: You’re like, fine, whatever.

Telanna: I come from a long line of pettiness, and that’s okay. I claim it.

Mercedes: Well, it’s just every year, every generation just multiplies.

Telanna: Oh, we already know that.

Mercedes: I love how people think. I’m sane, but it’s like, oh, no, you’ve just seen me when I would like to behave so I can keep my paycheck. No, I’m just joking. Okay, so tell me, Mommy, what has chasing more memories and less things look like in your life?

Telanna: It really looks like not having parties for people to come eat and leave. Like, I absolutely cannot do that.

Mercedes: Okay. Isn’t that a memory?

Telanna: It depends.

Mercedes: Okay.

Telanna: I guess if you value those memories, you make a very valid point. I don’t say that to knock anybody that wants to do that because yes. You know how I feel about canceling whatever is important to you. So I’m going to reframe that and say, like, big parties and all that stuff just not important to me. But something in a very intimate setting at my absolute favorite restaurant.

Mercedes: Yes.

Telanna: That would be important to me. My 20th anniversary is also in January. Do I want to have a big renewal vowel ceremony or something like that? Absolutely not.

Mercedes: Would I like to just go on? I’ve been dealing with you all for 20 years.

Telanna: You have girls. Such a mouth now, going on a wonderful trip to Japan for the thumb. You just having some type of revelation.

Mercedes: I don’t know why I felt like I was older. You felt like I vividly remember things when I was eight.

Telanna: Yes.

Mercedes: You all traumatized me. All right, that’s fine.

Telanna: Who do you think barbecued for that epic fifth grade party you had?

Mercedes: I must have blurred that out. I didn’t like your husband at the time.

Telanna: It happens in blended family. So that’s okay.

Mercedes: I like him now. That’s okay.

Telanna: Some days I didn’t like him either, but we good now.

Mercedes: Okay. I’m sorry. Okay. So what I hear you saying is that when you kind of view this big party, you view that as many things, like you’re buying all these things to have a party for people that you kind of really don’t even want to talk to anyway, and it’s not like a memory that you would cherish. So it’s not something that you’re actively chasing.

Telanna: Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I just think about all of the times that we’ve done things, even the little things, just like driving down to western Florida and just going to Ceviche Arigato.

Mercedes: That’s like a core memory for you. Yes.

Telanna: And just checking and checking in and sitting around the table at the resort, and we literally just went to do nothing. We literally drove from Orlando down South Florida to go to a restaurant. And for the weekend we were in the resort and we were playing games and we were doing nothing but just being together. Now, having said that, one thing just came up for me when you were talking about, this is why I love awareness, this is why I love coaching, because even in these times, things just come up. I feel like I don’t have a lot of those core values, I mean, core memories from my own life. And so I think, too, that’s why it’s really important for me to have them now and to make sure that my children have them, because I don’t have a lot of them. And of course, not taking anything away from my grandmother, but not being raised by my mom and not having my sister, my older sister there. I just want to make sure for you guys, even though you guys get on each other’s nerves sometimes, that this is important. Hey, y’all. Mama Telanna here. Have you been feeling tired of feeling like you’re just stuck in a rut? Are you struggling to achieve your goals? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it? Do you find yourself constantly self sabotaging and getting in your own way? Look, my mission here at Purpose Minded Woman is to help you take ownership of your life and begin to live with intention. And it starts with breaking free from the negative behavior patterns that are really holding you back. Okay. To help you get started, I created a free resource. Six simple steps to stop sabotaging your success. It is a powerful tool to help you identify the obstacles that are really getting in the way of your dreams. It’s time to break free from your self sabotaging habits and behaviors. And with this guide, you’ll have the solutions you need and the implementation steps you can take to take action and control your thoughts so that you can begin to exist at your highest level. Get it now while it’s available@purposemindedwoman.com. Get to be 50 years old and have very few memories. Yeah, well, you know, I’m kind of wimpy.

Mercedes: I know everybody getting old and sentimental.

Telanna: I’ve always been sentimental.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: I just do what I got to do and go past the sentimentalness. But now that I’m doing all of this inner work, I’m learning to sit in my feelings instead of just ignore them. It’s okay for me to experience these feelings about what happened in my life instead of just ignoring them and just rolling through.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: Level of strong woman, quote, unquote.

Mercedes: Okay.

Telanna: No.

Mercedes: Sorry, but yeah. I don’t know if that makes you feel better or not, but I feel great. No, I feel great. Oh, my God.

Telanna: I’m a great mom.

Mercedes: I love how you rebounded like that. Quickly. The healing has been done. But no, but I think you were successful in that mission. I feel like I have so many core memories. The interesting thing is that sometimes I remember these moments in life and family and just outings, and those were like those core memories of us. Like the Easter egg hunts.

Telanna: When I’m trying to play marbles.

Mercedes: Yeah, but I was actually older than that. And one of the things where it’s like, I’m so young, should I actually remember those things? But the Easter eggs around pop UP’s house my grandmother for some reason I always have the six flag pictures in my head. Yeah, that was like a big thing. I always remember the trip and I’m trying to remember. I definitely remember the trips to south of the border, which is funny.

Telanna: That is funny.

Mercedes: I can remember it in its heyday, sorry, Trinity. Anyway, so people know why we’re laughing.

Telanna: What was it?

Mercedes: Two years ago? Trinity really wanted to go to south of the border and we were like, trust me, you don’t want to go. And she’s like, I want to go. And I drove all the way to south of the border for us to be like the most anticlimactic drive of our entire life when we all knew that’s what was going to happen. But you wanted Trinity to have core memories so much that we wasted that amount of time in a we did. To go to south of the border. Because Trinity really need to go to south of the border.

Telanna: That is so true. That is crazy too, right?

Mercedes: Because we all knew that’s the core memory. And I actually think that if it’s not for Trinity, it has to be because she was totally fine. The fact that she had wasted hours of driving, like, okay, I was here, but I did get to talk to a parrot, so that was cool. Did you talk to the parrot while we were there?

Telanna: No, I didn’t talk to them.

Mercedes: Was it just me talking to the parrot? I was very enamored by this parrot. I was like, that was worth 8 hours of driving.

Telanna: Oh my gosh.

Mercedes: And they didn’t have our hotel Bedford.

Telanna: Yeah, they didn’t have it.

Mercedes: Anyway.

Telanna: But that all worked out because it would have been a Jesus moment. And so I’m glad that all worked out.

Mercedes: Me, I had to leaving, remember? Because I got there and then that was happening and I was like, I’m going to control myself. And I went to the bar and got us some drinks.

Telanna: You did?

Mercedes: And then the lady was like, we’re closing soon. I was like, go ahead and make another one, love.

Telanna: But that’s okay because I was just determined to pray us through that and everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to.

Mercedes: I love that you’re telling the people you prayed your way through that.

Telanna: I did. I did.

Mercedes: Praying quietly and yelling loudly. I’m sorry, let me leave you alone.

Telanna: But I can guarantee you that if they knew what happened to us when we got to that hotel, they would have been yelling too. As a matter of fact, they wouldn’t have been praying silently. They would have been speaking in tongues or something. I’m just saying that was an experience at the end of a long day. But I’m glad you brought that up because I think it just goes to prove that sometimes we have to create these memories even when they’re not memories that we necessarily want.

Mercedes: Well.

Telanna: I don’t think any of us want to go to south of the border.

Mercedes: Well, no, but I think that is the thing about the memory though, even though south of the war is totally crappy, that’s a funny, really great memory for me. This is peak hilariousness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but that whole thing was funny and now I can even laugh even though I know we were having a rough night when we got back to that hotel. That’s a core memory for me. We were just going and having fun and it was a little spontaneous, it was a little fun and it was a good trip and yeah, I also have it like.

Telanna: That bartender made a.

Mercedes: Good drink that was the best we’ve ever had.

Telanna: Ever.

Mercedes: Yeah, we’ve been chasing that drink ever since and we’ve never that is true. Gotten another one. It was a Jolly Rancher I think.

Telanna: Is what yeah, but I’m not going back to Buford for that.

Mercedes: No, we’re not. But also I will say that I love that picture that when we went to Buford and I’m like staring at the schoolhouse and you have this beautiful picture of me admiring the history. And I think that’s indicative of a lot of things of like we have been much more intentional other than the south of the border of doing chasing these memories for things that are impactful like making sure the trips that we’re going on are trips that are like bucket list trips and being intentional about spending time on those experiences rather than those things. And I think about right now where one of my biggest goals for this year was to pay off as much debt as I could and I’ve been on a really great journey with that. And I think the interesting thing is that I have minimized spending so much on things and I’ve been literally taking out like car fulls of stuff out of the house to donate and making space for things that are truly giving me joy. But then when I thought about that, it has given me much more freedom to spend money on experiences and experiences that we will have this year. And so I think that’s one of those things of like it is the alignment there. And when you talk about short term happiness versus these bigger long term goals, that is the goal, right? Minimalism, even though you don’t want to call yourself a minimalist. I would love to kind of get closer to that.

Telanna: It’s okay, don’t say no.

Mercedes: It is this thing of being intentional about what you choose to spend your money on, the things that you choose to have. Is this something that’s going to help me in this moment or make me feel a short term burst of happiness or is this going to be chasing this long term memory, happiness, joy, whatever you want to call it, peace, whatever you want to call it, joy. It’s fine.

Telanna: Don’t be petty.

Mercedes: We just discussed this. Not possible.

Telanna: No, that’s absolutely right. Are the things that you’re consuming, are the ways that you’re spending your time is that really helping? And resources to get closer to the life that you want? I just sold all of my craft stuff.

Mercedes: Which I’m still in shock about. I mean, I know that you did do it because there’s, like, lots of things missing, but I was like, what?

Telanna: Yes, but so this has been part of that journey, too. Why in the world do I have all of this stuff? This is so ridiculous. On another level, to the point where the clutter I mean, first of all, I take that back. It wasn’t cluttered. Anybody that knows me, I’m not going to have clutter. But it’s a lot of stuff that I wasn’t even using.

Mercedes: Yeah, I was just taking up space. Like, it wasn’t cluttered or messy.

Telanna: No, exactly. So, like, I sold a bunch of stuff. But that also brought me to another challenge that I had with trying to get rid of things is that I read how much of things that are donated ends up in the landfills. And I’m just like, that made me compelled even more because you can’t even.

Mercedes: Say, oh, it’ll go somewhere good.

Telanna: Yeah, you can’t even do that. And being honest, it’s really hard to give away stuff just to say, hey, I have stuff to give away because that means somebody has to manage it and somebody has to do all that. So I get it. But I just have gotten to this point where I am just tired of having stuff that I don’t use in my site, amazon’s fault.

Mercedes: Not to get too meta, because I feel like I’ve been getting all into the meta of things, but it is indicative of our culture that we would have such a thing.

Telanna: It’s crazy. Yeah, because I literally said, you know what? I want to start juicing. And I just went on Amazon and bought a juicer. Okay. And then I went to Kevin and say, hey, look, I just got this juicer because I want to start juicing. And you know what he said to me?

Mercedes: We have a juicer.

Telanna: He said the Vitamix could do that.

Mercedes: Which is a really good blender. You psycho.

Telanna: Why do I spend $40 on the juicer? Yeah.

Mercedes: So one of the things that I think has been really a challenge for me, I have limited that getting new things. But I think one of the biggest challenges for me in pursuing decluttering or a more minimalist lifestyle, and I will also say that my goal I know you know this, but my goal is to have an RV and be able to live in the RV full time. And that means that I have to downsize so much of life. And I think that’ll really help me to make the hard decisions, marie Kondo style. But I think one of the biggest challenges that I’ve had in chasing more memories or alignment for life and less things is that I have an emotional and I think most people do, right? But I have an emotional attachment to some things. I have some skirts that I finally got rid of, and I shouldn’t say I got rid of them, I took them to a church because I won’t take things to Goodwill. That’s even before I knew that how many things at Goodwill don’t make it to actual people instead of going to a community group or, like a homeless shelter or something like that. But anyways, all of that being said, I had these skirts that I bought, and I bought those skirts when I was at Macy’s, and those skirts were kind of like this thing that was indicative of me transitioning into a professional. So those were the skirts that I wore when I was first an intern and got my first career HR job. And I would look at them in my thing and like, oh, they’re so pretty, and they’re floral, and, oh, they look so cute and professional, but it’s not even like something I wear style wise anymore. Like, I haven’t touched those skirts in two or three years. And maybe even more than that, actually, because I don’t think I’ve ever worn those skirts at my current job, which means they haven’t been worn in, like, four years. And it took a lot out of me to actually put those in a bag to donate. And that’s hard because that’s like, you’re not just making a decision to declutter, you’re making a decision every single time, like, hoarders to get rid of something even though you know you haven’t used it. And I think one big kudos to you, because I know a lot of you becoming a crafter and all of those things that you did kind of became part of your identity in many ways, even though you don’t like the labels, but you call yourself a crafter. That’s how I know you were super drank the Kool Aid. But anyway, so I’ll let you chat. But all I’m saying is I think one of the biggest things in this is having the guts or the courage to say, I’m going to make hard decisions every single time I choose to minimalize or choose to get rid of something. And that is more than just the same way that chasing happiness or joy is hard. It’s just as hard to get rid of the things that are not serving you in that journey. I’m going to drop my snowball on the floor. That was my words.

Telanna: I absolutely love that you said that, too. And I just want to speak to all the moms out there, too, because I feel like at times we can be challenged, too, right, to go along with whatever the norm is. So a few years ago, you threw.

Mercedes: Away my stuffed animals well, that, too, actually. You left them in the attic. I’m not over that yet. I had an emotional attachment to those.

Telanna: Yeah, I’m sorry.

Mercedes: Oh, thank you for saying sorry, finally. No, Mommy. Mommy, that’s not an apology. You’re old enough to know that’s not an apology. Wow. Didn’t you just finish talking about how you’ve grown as a person, not an apology?

Telanna: No, I was just actually thinking no, but this is the thing about awareness. After I said it, I was like, Did I just say that?

Mercedes: You mean by the mouth?

Telanna: No, I didn’t mean to add the.

Mercedes: After part because you didn’t mean it. It was an automatic response.

Telanna: No, of course. But you know what?

Mercedes: You can try.

Telanna: You threw me when you said I hadn’t apologized before, and I was thinking, surely she must be wrong about that.

Mercedes: No, it was actually a while before I knew that it happened. You all moved. And then I was like, wait a minute. Actually, that’s what happened. When I was moving stuff from my apartment to Brandon’s. That’s why I was like, wait a second. All of my stuffed animals aren’t in this box. I still have stuffed animals with boxes because that’s one emotional thing that I can’t get rid of. And then you all left Fluffy in an attic.

Telanna: Oh, my gosh. Fluffy.

Mercedes: See, isn’t that ******** behavior?

Telanna: That is true, and I sincerely apologize because I would feel some type of way if somebody left my doctor who built a bear in some attic.

Mercedes: See, that’s what you all did to me. And I was traumatized.

Telanna: I’m sorry.

Mercedes: But it’s okay. This is a healing moment for me. Thank you. Thank you for giving me that space to grieve Fluffy. I’m not even joking. Like, I’m so upset.

Telanna: You are so welcome. I’m glad that I can help a.

Mercedes: Year later for you. Thank you. Yeah. But I will always have fond memories of Fluffy, so I think that’s a good nugget, right? Like, you don’t have to have the thing for you to remember what it meant to you.

Telanna: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Mercedes: Yeah. I will remember those skirts and what they meant to me at that time. There’s a lot here. There’s a lot to unpack with that.

Telanna: Well, that’s what I was going to bring up, too, before we pivoted into Fluffy.

Mercedes: I’ve been waiting for that apology. So that’s why okay, I’m done. Sorry.

Telanna: To my mom to let them know that I think it was maybe three, four years ago. I was just like, okay, I’m not doing this Valentine’s thing anymore, and I’m not doing this Easter thing anymore, and all that stuff. And that might be a difficult thing, especially when your kids see other people doing it, right, and they want to be a part of it and they want to do it. And what I really found out was that if we’re creating the memories as a family, that we need to and that we want to. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s some commercialized holiday. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, as long as you do what matters to you all. And you talking about your skirts. That would be the question that I would ask you. What are you making those skirts mean to you?

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And I guess it’s because I don’t really get attached to things in that sense. I mean, there may be a few little things I get attached to, like certain things that you kids have done for me over the years. And of course, I’m attached to a few things from my grandmother now that she’s not here, but I don’t get attached to things like that, which is why I got in trouble with my husband, because I was like, do I need to keep this wedding gown? Girl.

Mercedes: I’m sorry, Mommy. Now, that man is low key sentimental. I don’t even know why you asked that.

Telanna: And he was so offended, and I felt so bad.

Mercedes: Right, as you should.

Telanna: Yes.

Mercedes: Cyberman behavior, man.

Telanna: But I didn’t want it in my closet. It’s taking up space.

Mercedes: It’s still in one of those garment bag things. Well, no, because why am I telling you this? You get it put in that preservation box, and you put it on.

Telanna: The box is big, too.

Mercedes: Yeah, but it’s not hanging, and it’s, like, out of the way.

Telanna: It’s not hanging?

Mercedes: No, it’s not hanging.

Telanna: No, it’s on the shelf in the closet. It’s just there, Mommy.

Mercedes: Okay, so now that I do like your husband, I’m going to defend him on this podcast. Okay. Because that man has held in his heart for 20 years, apparently, about your wedding day vows.

Telanna: Okay, we’re not going to talk about that.

Mercedes: And you thought it was okay to ask that same man if you could get rid of your wedding dress?

Telanna: I guess I’m taking the less things, more memories. Too far?

Mercedes: Yeah. Okay. Because there is kind of like anyway, if you’re listening to this and you didn’t watch or haven’t watched or even are aware of this lady Marie Kondo, I feel like that’s a really good gateway drug to this conversation. Because I’m not saying that the entire way you should live in a Marie Kondo way, probably not, because not to.

Telanna: Cut you off, but she get in trouble. Have you looked up her lately?

Mercedes: What happened? What did she do?

Telanna: She didn’t do anything. But however, when life changes for you, your intentions change. And so now some of the things that she has originally written because she has a child now, she changed.

Mercedes: That’s evolution. I’m good with that.

Telanna: No. Yeah, I wasn’t saying anything’s wrong with it. I was just bringing that to your awareness because it didn’t sound like you knew.

Mercedes: No, I didn’t have a child. No. But if I’m going to be honest here, I don’t agree with everything that Marie Kondo did. It’s just like, a good way to understand some of the process of it. But I appreciated the way I think her system, at least of the way that it’s presented in the show, because I didn’t read her book or anything, but it was like, there are things and then there are keepsakes. Right?

Telanna: Yeah, absolutely.

Mercedes: And I think that’s one of the things of why you should have never asked that question, because, like, a wedding gown is a keepsake for most people.

Telanna: But it’s not a keepsake for me. So that’s why I asked the question. It’s okay.

Mercedes: All right, well, no, I get why you asked that question. That’s in alignment with your cyberman tendencies, but that was not in alignment with your other.

Telanna: Well, then that’s why I asked him if I could put it in his closet, and he told me no, because that’s basic.

Mercedes: So in theory, right, that’s like, you just like, it’s still you getting rid of it. He’s like, I don’t want this anymore. You can put this in your closet.

Telanna: Yes, I agree. You’re absolutely right. And somebody should have done something to me about that.

Mercedes: Maybe you should have asked somebody other than your own brain.

Telanna: Yeah, well, next time. Yes.

Mercedes: How did you do this?

Telanna: More memories? I don’t know. I don’t remember. It was a while ago when I was Marie Kondoing my closet and going looking at this, give me joy, does this?

Mercedes: And I didn’t stop and say, oh, she had a section about keepsakes.

Telanna: Yes, she has a section about keepsake, but I don’t see it as a keepsake. I just see it as a dress that I wore on my wedding day.

Mercedes: Okay, well, I feel like now we’re in a circular reasoning thing that we don’t need to go into further.

Telanna: Oh, no. But when we go back to we talk about memories. My memory of that day is not attached to the dress.

Mercedes: Yeah, that’s great that you have that ability, which, I mean, I think that’s where people should go. I think people should be able to say, this memory remains, the importance of this day remains, or whatever, even though I don’t have this physical thing that is attached to that. But I think that’s like an evolution of the journey.

Telanna: So I have a superpower.

Mercedes: Yes, it does give sociopathic behavior. I mean, you got to even think with as much true crime that I watch Even Sociopaths right now.

Telanna: Keep podcast, right?

Mercedes: Even Sociopath. No, I’m going to finish this. Even sociopaths keepsakes It’s often terrible and later used as evidence. But yeah, no, you’re psycho.

Telanna: Because I don’t want any you know what?

Mercedes: Okay, so I think we’ve covered I want to say all of the topics and some more. Lots of topics. So is there anything like closing words, guidance, strategies, something that you feel like would help the audience on the journey that you are very successfully going through to the extent that you are willing to throw away your wedding dress.

Telanna: Wow. That was kind of harsh.

Mercedes: I am a scorpio talking to another.

Telanna: But obviously one is more mature than the other stage of life.

Mercedes: Never said that.

Telanna: I mean, I think it’s just about being honest with yourself and creating a life without the burden of doing things and having things and being the person because somebody else thinks you should be and just being honest about what’s no longer working in your life. Holding on to those craft supplies for so long when I was just like, this doesn’t feel like me anymore. But that’s who everybody saw me as.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And so I think it’s just having these honest conversations with yourself. And at the end of the day, I’m sorry, as morbid as it’s going to sound when I’m on my deathbed, what is going to really matter to me? That I kept all these crafts and supplies because I couldn’t bring myself to give them away or that I spent my days doing the things that I really wanted to do?

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: I don’t know. And I feel like it’s just so freeing to and I know that it isn’t about always about having things, like physical things. I understand that. But there is this freedom in just not having clutter. And I don’t mean like messy, hoarders clutter. I just mean having more things than you truly need in your life. There’s just something so beautiful about not being consumed by those things and having the freedom to do the things and having a clear mind to think the things that you want to. But like you said, it’s a journey. I didn’t just wake up and say.

Mercedes: Okay, I’m throwing away my wedding dress.

Telanna: You know what? You bring that up one more time.

Mercedes: Girl, what you going to do, beat me?

Telanna: I’m going to turn into River Song.

Mercedes: Okay. From Doctor Who? Yeah.

Telanna: I’m going to turn into River Song.

Mercedes: Thank you. I think she murdered her mother, didn’t she?

Telanna: She did. And the doctor.

Mercedes: Yeah.

Telanna: And the picture that’s on my wall of her is of her holding a cyberman’s head off its body.

Mercedes: I love that you said this in a completely normal way, which does prove my point.

Telanna: Whatever, little girl.

Mercedes: I’m glad that you were able to reach down and be the nurturing mother that you were for me. Thank you.

Telanna: You’re welcome. Because I was a great mother.

Mercedes: You’re a great mother. You’re a great mother.

Telanna: I am.

Mercedes: But you have sociopathic tendency.

Telanna: It’s the greatest thing I’ll ever do. No, I take that back. I said I wasn’t going to say that anymore.

Mercedes: Is that because it’s a label?

Telanna: No, because there is still so much more that I have to do.

Mercedes: Okay. I think that’s true. We have many lives to impact.

Telanna: Yes, we do.

Mercedes: And we have many journeys that we will be a part of and that’s exciting.

Telanna: But I’m glad that this podcast is here because I’m glad that I can end this call this podcast. No, I’m saying I’m glad that I can end the podcast knowing that you have those core memories.

Mercedes: So many core memories.

Telanna: Yes. And so that just brings me a lot of joy. Not happiness. It brings me so much joy. Crying.

Mercedes: Yeah. I’ve had a good life.

Telanna: Yeah. I think we should end it on that note.

Mercedes: That’s cute. All right, so, Chasers, until next time. We are wishing you much success in chasing your biggest goals, and we also hope that you take time to really consider what kind of memories you want to chase and what kind of things you want to chase and really make sure to build that into your life so that you can live a life of intention. So thanks for listening, toodles.